Hamartia

The first thing that I noticed as soon as the unforgiving morning light that suffused the room woke me up was how the room smelled nothing like Glade fresh lemon. The second was how oddly compromising Garrett and I's position in the bed was, all tangled up under the duvet with my head buried deeply on the crook of his neck, and the third-- the third was how comfortable being like this with him felt like.

It almost seemed normal, except for the fact that it wasn’t, because only couples share this kind of intimacy and I was certain that we weren’t dating.

I was basking in the overwhelming warmth our closure offered and I honestly didn't want to get up but the abrasive knocking on the door was getting too intolerable to ignore. In spite of myself, I eased myself away from Garrett's loose embrace, careful not to stir him awake as I slowly removed his arm that was draped on my waist.

I thought to myself that Garrett should be the one doing this because he was, after all, the owner of this room but that would be downright unkind considering how awfully cozy he was earlier. We both were, actually.

I was oblivious to the wide grin on my face as I opened the door and I wouldn't have known it was there if the uneasiness didn't set in as soon as my eyes landed on the person who was now in front of me.

He looked like he had just stepped out of the shower and there was quite a resemblance between him and Garrett, which led me to the conclusion that he was his brother. Older brother. He looked at me as if I was the last person he had expected to see and that was demoralizing.

“I-- um, hi.” I tried to sound as coherent as I could but it was hopeless, really, because I could already hear the stark judgments formulating in his head as he tried to discern the scene before him: a disheveled-looking girl wearing my brother's shirt and Star Wars pajamas; just gotten out of bed; obviously had a good night; probably got laid.

I didn't really know exactly what happened next but his face seemed to light up as if recognition hit him.

“You must be Robin! Oh fuck, sorry for interrupting. Have a good day!” Without any more ado, he grabbed the knob and hurriedly closed the door himself.

By the time I turned around, Garrett was already in a sitting position on his bed, clearly pleased. He looked so heartbreakingly attractive with his hair that was sticking up in all different directions and all I could do was sigh.

“Good morning, Rob.” His voice was thick with sleep and just that wasn't making it fairly easy for me to think coherent thoughts.

I had no idea on how he could manage to make me blush without even trying and I swear I haven't blushed merely because of a morning greeting before but maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was Garrett and just the sound of his voice was enough to send an influx of butterflies to the pit of my stomach.

“Right back at you.” I spun around on my heels because that was the only thing I could do to hide the redness that was rapidly dominating my face.

I heard him hoist himself up from his bed and snicker behind me. “Well aren't you in such a lovely mood this morning.”

I snorted. “Yeah. Because waking up to Johnny Cash giving you the finger definitely puts you in a vibrant mood.”

This was real. He was standing just within my five-meter radius and he looked handsome as always-- and happy. It hurt me to admit, but he was happy without me.

I didn’t know what made it hard for me to get over him. It must have been because he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and the first guy I’ve ever made out with. But I’ve never gone far with him. Sure, it was a three-year relationship but he vowed to never force me into things I wasn’t ready for-- sex, included-- and I kept thinking that was the main reason why he decided to lash out his sexual desires to another person. He was a great guy-- he used to be, but never in my life have I thought that he would have the capacity to cheat on me. Twice.

I never thought I would see him again. Hell, I thought I wished never to see him again. But he was here right now and I felt my eyes getting teary just by looking at him.

A firm grip on my hand hauled me back to my senses. My heart was drumming wildly in my chest and I could’ve sworn I heard someone yell my name and there was no questioning that it was Ben.

I looked at Garrett, who smiled at me reassuringly in return. I knew I was going to regret this later but the words had already rolled out of my tongue before I could think twice.

“Kiss me.”