Seems An Awful Waste
The Truth, And Nothing But The Truth.
Aurélie’s P.O.V.
I noticed, as I stepped out again, that they had left the hall and walked back into the cafeteria.
I was glad to see them both smiling at each other. Frank was where he had previously sat, and I plonked myself down next to Gerard.
“So, who’s up for some more coffee? It’s so cold in that hallway”
I think I was genuinely happy at that moment in time. Everything was going moderately well, if you don’t take the fact that I, myself, am dying, into consideration. It’s just… not important enough right now. I wanted to get to know these two better than they knew each other. I felt like they could become so much more than acquaintances, and I hadn’t had that feeling in such a long time, I wanted to keep it.
As I laid my hands on the table, one of them brushed Gerard’s. I don’t think he noticed, but I went bright red and shifted myself a little further away in my seat. I was so nervous around him when my mind was focused. I just wanted to take his face and look deep into his eyes, to brush my fingertips against his lips and to just–
I was cut mid through my thoughts when Frank snapped his fingers in front of my face, smiling at me.
“Oh… I... I’m so sorry. Daydreaming again”
I tapped my head with the palm of my hand.
Oh God, that was close… too close
Gerard's P.O.V.
Through out the time we spent in the cafe, I felt very aware of everything around me. Frank - scrutinizing my every move; Aurélie - her hand brushing mine (which I pretended not to notice) and her blushing deeply and moving uncomfortably in her chair; the waiters and waitresses - bustling around the surprisingly full cafe, dealing with customers who would sometimes randomly burst into tears (it was a hospital after all) and even the world outside the window - the cars whizzing by and as corny as it sounds the birds in the trees. Everything seems much more beautiful when you realize you're about to loose it forever.
Frank seemed to be the only one talking, seemingly deep in conversation. Until no one replied. He frowned and snapped his fingers gently in-front of Aurélie, making her jump.
“Oh… I... I’m so sorry. Daydreaming again.”
I smiled at her gently, and realized I never found out why she was here.
"So.. how come your here.. you know in hospital?" I asked, and inwardly winced at how crude it sounded. And when she looked like she wanted to burst into tears.
Aurélie’s P.O.V
I felt my whole body freeze as the question was asked. I knew it was going to arrive sooner or later, but I would have preferred later rather than sooner to be honest.
“Well… the truth is… I…”
Oh God this was so much harder than I thought it would be. I could feel their eyes on me, as if they were searching every part of me to find an answer, but they both looked worried as well.
“I’ve got leukaemia and I’m dying” I blurted out before I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe it. I told them. I slowly realised a lot of people were staring at me, ogling me, and just looking at me cry. Not doing anything to comfort me… I was surrounded by a hundred people, but I’d never felt more alone.
Gerard's P.O.V.
Leukaemia, she's fucking dying of leukaemia, and you're worried about your own insignificant problems...how can you be so selfish? I was disgusted with myself. I couldn't bear to see her look so venerable and unhappy. I could see the tears running down her cheeks, despite how hard she fought to hide them. I stood up, and went to squat by her side, rapping my arm around her shoulders.
"I'm... Aurélie, I'm so sorry,"
I whispered. She stood up, I'm not sure why, maybe to get out of the situation as soon as possible, but I pulled her into my arms. She made no restraint, letting me hold her to me, crying quietly into my shoulder. I wanted to tell her it was all going to be ok, I wanted to tell her it wasn't happening. But it wasn't and it most certainly was. All I could do was stand there, holding her to me as closely as I could and stroke her beautiful long hair.
Aurélie’s P.O.V.
As Gerard wrapped his arms around me, it made the feeling so much worse. I just wanted to die there on the spot. How could I be like this? How could I make this all about me? How could I be so selfish?
I stood up quickly, trying to escape from the crowd, but he just pulled me closer, not caring about who could see us, or what they would say. I gave in straight away to his sweet scented nature, letting myself cry onto his shoulder until my eyes were so blood shot my vision was blurred. He started to stroke my hair, my dishevelled black and red hair, and as he did so, I clutched him around the waist letting another row of sobs escape from my body.
After a good five minutes, the sobbing stopped. I had plenty more tears left to cry, but it had to stop, for everyone’s sake. I wanted to stay like this forever, breathing in his scent. Roses, definitely. I tilted my head upwards, staring straight into his big brown eyes, and I smiled.
“Thank you” I managed to choke out with a broken voice.
“Would you guys like to come to my house? It’s better than here I would think.”
I let go of Gerard but I slid my hand into his. I needed to know he was still there. Stupid? I know… but I’m quite like that, I need reassurance from someone else but myself. That’s just me.
I noticed, as I stepped out again, that they had left the hall and walked back into the cafeteria.
I was glad to see them both smiling at each other. Frank was where he had previously sat, and I plonked myself down next to Gerard.
“So, who’s up for some more coffee? It’s so cold in that hallway”
I think I was genuinely happy at that moment in time. Everything was going moderately well, if you don’t take the fact that I, myself, am dying, into consideration. It’s just… not important enough right now. I wanted to get to know these two better than they knew each other. I felt like they could become so much more than acquaintances, and I hadn’t had that feeling in such a long time, I wanted to keep it.
As I laid my hands on the table, one of them brushed Gerard’s. I don’t think he noticed, but I went bright red and shifted myself a little further away in my seat. I was so nervous around him when my mind was focused. I just wanted to take his face and look deep into his eyes, to brush my fingertips against his lips and to just–
I was cut mid through my thoughts when Frank snapped his fingers in front of my face, smiling at me.
“Oh… I... I’m so sorry. Daydreaming again”
I tapped my head with the palm of my hand.
Oh God, that was close… too close
Gerard's P.O.V.
Through out the time we spent in the cafe, I felt very aware of everything around me. Frank - scrutinizing my every move; Aurélie - her hand brushing mine (which I pretended not to notice) and her blushing deeply and moving uncomfortably in her chair; the waiters and waitresses - bustling around the surprisingly full cafe, dealing with customers who would sometimes randomly burst into tears (it was a hospital after all) and even the world outside the window - the cars whizzing by and as corny as it sounds the birds in the trees. Everything seems much more beautiful when you realize you're about to loose it forever.
Frank seemed to be the only one talking, seemingly deep in conversation. Until no one replied. He frowned and snapped his fingers gently in-front of Aurélie, making her jump.
“Oh… I... I’m so sorry. Daydreaming again.”
I smiled at her gently, and realized I never found out why she was here.
"So.. how come your here.. you know in hospital?" I asked, and inwardly winced at how crude it sounded. And when she looked like she wanted to burst into tears.
Aurélie’s P.O.V
I felt my whole body freeze as the question was asked. I knew it was going to arrive sooner or later, but I would have preferred later rather than sooner to be honest.
“Well… the truth is… I…”
Oh God this was so much harder than I thought it would be. I could feel their eyes on me, as if they were searching every part of me to find an answer, but they both looked worried as well.
“I’ve got leukaemia and I’m dying” I blurted out before I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe it. I told them. I slowly realised a lot of people were staring at me, ogling me, and just looking at me cry. Not doing anything to comfort me… I was surrounded by a hundred people, but I’d never felt more alone.
Gerard's P.O.V.
Leukaemia, she's fucking dying of leukaemia, and you're worried about your own insignificant problems...how can you be so selfish? I was disgusted with myself. I couldn't bear to see her look so venerable and unhappy. I could see the tears running down her cheeks, despite how hard she fought to hide them. I stood up, and went to squat by her side, rapping my arm around her shoulders.
"I'm... Aurélie, I'm so sorry,"
I whispered. She stood up, I'm not sure why, maybe to get out of the situation as soon as possible, but I pulled her into my arms. She made no restraint, letting me hold her to me, crying quietly into my shoulder. I wanted to tell her it was all going to be ok, I wanted to tell her it wasn't happening. But it wasn't and it most certainly was. All I could do was stand there, holding her to me as closely as I could and stroke her beautiful long hair.
Aurélie’s P.O.V.
As Gerard wrapped his arms around me, it made the feeling so much worse. I just wanted to die there on the spot. How could I be like this? How could I make this all about me? How could I be so selfish?
I stood up quickly, trying to escape from the crowd, but he just pulled me closer, not caring about who could see us, or what they would say. I gave in straight away to his sweet scented nature, letting myself cry onto his shoulder until my eyes were so blood shot my vision was blurred. He started to stroke my hair, my dishevelled black and red hair, and as he did so, I clutched him around the waist letting another row of sobs escape from my body.
After a good five minutes, the sobbing stopped. I had plenty more tears left to cry, but it had to stop, for everyone’s sake. I wanted to stay like this forever, breathing in his scent. Roses, definitely. I tilted my head upwards, staring straight into his big brown eyes, and I smiled.
“Thank you” I managed to choke out with a broken voice.
“Would you guys like to come to my house? It’s better than here I would think.”
I let go of Gerard but I slid my hand into his. I needed to know he was still there. Stupid? I know… but I’m quite like that, I need reassurance from someone else but myself. That’s just me.