Seems An Awful Waste
We Do Care. We Truly Do.
Aurélie’s P.O.V.
I would have recognised his face anywhere, it was definitely Gerard. He went off with some doctor I didn’t know the name of, and barely even glanced at me.
I looked up at the ceiling, letting a heavy sigh escape my lips. My heart beating so fast I thought I was going to faint. That’s effect he had on me. Never, ever had I felt anything like it before… It was almost too good.
I waited… for too long I thought. What was wrong? Why was he still here? All those questions racing through my mind, making my fingers find the sides of my head, rubbing it gently, as if I had a head ache.
“Miss? All you alright? Would you like me to call a doctor?”
I looked up, expecting to be staring straight at a nurse, and finding I was looking up to a beautiful boy. He looked about my age, but his language was so sophisticated it caught me off guard.
“I… no I’m fine thank you. I’m Aurélie by the way”
I told him as he lifted me up to my feet.
Gerard's P.O.V.
My insides had been ripped out. And my heart had stopped beating, frozen, a led weight in my chest. But I was still alive. Why? Let my suffering end. I looked down at the linoleum floor, and tears escaped once again from the corner of my eyes, running down my cheek.
"Mr. Way? Are you alright?" Dr. Smith enquired softly.
I couldn't bring myself to answer, so I closed my eyes and swore to myself. This couldn't be happening. This happened on soap opera, on television, in news papers. It didn't happen to me. I'd been depressed before, nearly wanted to kill myself. But I'd had hope. Now I had none. I had brain cancer. And nothing was going to save me. Nothing. I was doomed, and I felt hopelessness and depression flood over me. I wiped away the tears, and managed to stop them from coming.
He came over to me from behind his desk, and knelt down beside me, resting his hand on my shoulder.
"Gerard?"
I looked up at him.
"Is it too late?" I croaked
Aurélie’s P.O.V.
I got up slowly, staring at the floor, arms crossed as I stood up straight. I wondered for a second why he was here; he seemed fine to be honest. But then again, so did I… I guess.
“I don’t mean to sound rude but, why are you here exactly?”
Oh god! Why had I gone and done that?? How rude!
He didn’t seem phased though, he replied quite happily. Grinning in my direction.
“Wow, twice in one day.” He giggled slightly which made me smile to his shoes.
“I’m waiting for a friend actually. We’re not too sure what he has. And he’s in that room”
He pointed towards the room which Gerard had just walked into.
‘Could he really know Gerard?’ Not impossible I guess.
“You know Gerard then?” I asked silently as we walked towards the water fountain.
“I… yeah, I do. How do you know him?”
“I met him here yesterday. I … I’m not too wel-”
As I was finishing my sentence, Gerard walked out of the sombre room, looking even more sombre himself. A dark cloud over his head, his eyes looked all puffed up. The boy and I stood next to each other, frozen at the sight of him.
Gerard's P.O.V.
"Is it too late?"
Dr. Smith smiled sadly.
"It's too early to tell," he tried to reassure me.
"We'll have to run more tests."
I nodded slightly, before standing up and leaving his office, not saying another word. Aurélie and Frank were standing in the waiting room together, and turned towards me as I left the office. Neither of them moved, nor said a word. I couldn't bring myself to break the silence, so I quickly walked towards the door and ran out the hospital.
I carried on going, away from the hospital, away from the scans. Desperate to break away from the fucking cancer that was eroding my brain, sucking the life out of me. Trees, cars, houses, all passed me in a blur. My mind couldn't focus on my surroundings, couldn't focus on anything except the news I had just received. It's too early to tell. I glared at my feet, as I continued to walk down the road, the sun beating down, almost painfully, on the back of my neck. That probably just means they don't know how long I have left, how long it'll take to kill me.
I finally stopped outside Starbucks, before deciding to go inside and order a drink. I slumped down at a table in the corner drinking the boiling coffee, letting it scorch my lips and tongue. It was gone before I even felt the numbness consume my mouth. I put my head in my hands, and let myself begin to cry again. No one was paying any attention to me. No one had followed me. No one gave a fuck.
I would have recognised his face anywhere, it was definitely Gerard. He went off with some doctor I didn’t know the name of, and barely even glanced at me.
I looked up at the ceiling, letting a heavy sigh escape my lips. My heart beating so fast I thought I was going to faint. That’s effect he had on me. Never, ever had I felt anything like it before… It was almost too good.
I waited… for too long I thought. What was wrong? Why was he still here? All those questions racing through my mind, making my fingers find the sides of my head, rubbing it gently, as if I had a head ache.
“Miss? All you alright? Would you like me to call a doctor?”
I looked up, expecting to be staring straight at a nurse, and finding I was looking up to a beautiful boy. He looked about my age, but his language was so sophisticated it caught me off guard.
“I… no I’m fine thank you. I’m Aurélie by the way”
I told him as he lifted me up to my feet.
Gerard's P.O.V.
My insides had been ripped out. And my heart had stopped beating, frozen, a led weight in my chest. But I was still alive. Why? Let my suffering end. I looked down at the linoleum floor, and tears escaped once again from the corner of my eyes, running down my cheek.
"Mr. Way? Are you alright?" Dr. Smith enquired softly.
I couldn't bring myself to answer, so I closed my eyes and swore to myself. This couldn't be happening. This happened on soap opera, on television, in news papers. It didn't happen to me. I'd been depressed before, nearly wanted to kill myself. But I'd had hope. Now I had none. I had brain cancer. And nothing was going to save me. Nothing. I was doomed, and I felt hopelessness and depression flood over me. I wiped away the tears, and managed to stop them from coming.
He came over to me from behind his desk, and knelt down beside me, resting his hand on my shoulder.
"Gerard?"
I looked up at him.
"Is it too late?" I croaked
Aurélie’s P.O.V.
I got up slowly, staring at the floor, arms crossed as I stood up straight. I wondered for a second why he was here; he seemed fine to be honest. But then again, so did I… I guess.
“I don’t mean to sound rude but, why are you here exactly?”
Oh god! Why had I gone and done that?? How rude!
He didn’t seem phased though, he replied quite happily. Grinning in my direction.
“Wow, twice in one day.” He giggled slightly which made me smile to his shoes.
“I’m waiting for a friend actually. We’re not too sure what he has. And he’s in that room”
He pointed towards the room which Gerard had just walked into.
‘Could he really know Gerard?’ Not impossible I guess.
“You know Gerard then?” I asked silently as we walked towards the water fountain.
“I… yeah, I do. How do you know him?”
“I met him here yesterday. I … I’m not too wel-”
As I was finishing my sentence, Gerard walked out of the sombre room, looking even more sombre himself. A dark cloud over his head, his eyes looked all puffed up. The boy and I stood next to each other, frozen at the sight of him.
Gerard's P.O.V.
"Is it too late?"
Dr. Smith smiled sadly.
"It's too early to tell," he tried to reassure me.
"We'll have to run more tests."
I nodded slightly, before standing up and leaving his office, not saying another word. Aurélie and Frank were standing in the waiting room together, and turned towards me as I left the office. Neither of them moved, nor said a word. I couldn't bring myself to break the silence, so I quickly walked towards the door and ran out the hospital.
I carried on going, away from the hospital, away from the scans. Desperate to break away from the fucking cancer that was eroding my brain, sucking the life out of me. Trees, cars, houses, all passed me in a blur. My mind couldn't focus on my surroundings, couldn't focus on anything except the news I had just received. It's too early to tell. I glared at my feet, as I continued to walk down the road, the sun beating down, almost painfully, on the back of my neck. That probably just means they don't know how long I have left, how long it'll take to kill me.
I finally stopped outside Starbucks, before deciding to go inside and order a drink. I slumped down at a table in the corner drinking the boiling coffee, letting it scorch my lips and tongue. It was gone before I even felt the numbness consume my mouth. I put my head in my hands, and let myself begin to cry again. No one was paying any attention to me. No one had followed me. No one gave a fuck.