Just Being With You

I'd been ignoring the pile of magazines on the table for the last four hours. I'd even managed to ignore the gossip website that remained open on Ella's laptop on the table. Somehow, it was easier to deal with things when I pretended that he wasn't real, that none of this had ever happened. But I couldn't do that when there were pictures of us together emblazoned across every website in the world.
So instead I spent the day lying on the sofa watching Friends re-runs and occasionally sprinting to the bathroom. Finally, around five o'clock, I made my way up to my bedroom and into the bathroom to shower.
I washed my body, analysing my stomach carefully, watching out for any developments that I knew were impossible at this stage, before stepping out and beginning to dry my hair, wishing that it wasn't so long and unruly.

Afterwards I picked out a Herve Leger a line skirt and a bright pink Vera Wang peplum top, knowing that dinner with Simon would be semi-formal, but not require a ball gown. I sighed in satisfaction, having successfully blocked out all thoughts of Sarah and Harry whilst getting ready, and began applying some natural make up. Once finally satisfied, Ipicked out a pair of Stella McCartney heels, slipping them on and walking downstairs to where Ella was waiting.

"You look beautiful" she told me, something she'd always made a conscious effort to since my stint in hospital. It was as if she was afraid I'd forget, and begin sticking my fingers down my throat again. Everybody seemed to think it was so simple, like I could just turn it off, like someone could tell my to stop and I just would.
In truth, it scared me more than anything that I found it hard to stop and I never wanted to do it again, but it seemed to relieve me of my stress. Some people would smoke, or drink, but I took pleasure in throwing up. It seemed bizarre, or it had, until it had happened to me, and I realised just ow liberating it was, how powerful it made me feel, knowing I was in control of my body.
"Thank you" I said softly, wishing that I could believe her.

She looked over at Mila, the housekeeper, who was busy cooking and began to talk about how long it would take. "That's wonderful," she said before turning away from Mila to face me. "Simon is going to be here in about five minutes. Before then, you should probably tell me what you're planning on telling him" she told me, leading me into the reception room.

"I don't really know. I mean, I'll tell him about the maybe pregnancy thing, because he's been in this business for so long and he might be able to help. But I don't know whether to say about Harry and Sarah and the fights." I said, playing with the hemline of my skirt.
"You should be honest" Ella told me firmly, just as we heard the front door open and George led Simon through.

We were halfway through dinner before Simon broached the subject. "So what is it then?" he asked, putting his knife and fork down to look at me. "What?" I asked, hoping he would drop the subject so tat I wouldn't look like a complete idiot.
He raised his eyebrows as if he knew exactly what I was trying to do and I sighed in defeat. "Harry and I broke up." I told him, waiting for him to ask em why, but instead he opened his mouth and said "I'm not surprised", sitting back in his chair and resting his hands on his stomach.
"What? Why aren't you surprised?" I asked him, wrinkling my nose. Was this way of saying that my relationships never lasted?
"Well...the pictures" he said slowly and I sat up straighter. "What pictures?" I asked immediately and he tried backtracking.
"Um, what?" He asked, trying to act like he'd forgotten all about what he'd said. "You may as well tell me" I told him, getting ready to run to my laptop and Google it if he didn't tell me.

"Well I didn't want to be the one to tell you - but there are pictures of Harry leaving a bar with Caroline Flack yesterday, and they went back to his flat" he told me, sighing in defeat. I gasped slightly, had he really got over me that fucking quickly?
"We broke up yesterday morning." I told him, my mouth hanging open in shock. He leaned forward, taking my hand lightly in his, "I don't know what to say Emme - as much as I like the boy, and he's a great guy, he's a player." He told me.
I just sat there, feeling slightly numb. Although I'd left him yesterday, I'd never imagined that he'd move on so quickly, and it was inconceivable to me that there was no chance of us getting back together.

"I think I'm pregnant" I blurted out to Simon and he looked up in shock, before covering it up with an understanding expression. "Does Harry know?" he asked calmly and I nodded. "I'm guessing that's why you broke up. But that doesn't matter now, what's important is that you rest and don't let the press get wind of this." he told me and I whimpered slightly.
"How am I supposed to do that? They went crazy when Harry and I went out, and now e's been seen with her they'll be beating my fucking door down" I told him and he raised his eyes slightly at my choice of words.
"You can come and stay with me for a while. I understand from what Ella told me that you're no longer living with Sarah, and the worst thing to do is run away, it's not sending the right message. If you come to my house in London, we can decide what to tell the public and I can help you look for a place to buy for you and the baby." he told me and I sighed in relief. No matter what people said about Simon, he was nothing like the tough, mean guy he was portrayed as, in fact he was more like a father to me. He'd always said he considered me a daughter.

Eleanor POV
"So where is she?" I asked Louis, wrinkling my nose in confusion. I'd gone over to Louis' to spend the night and he'd filled me in on everything that had been happening.
"Nobody knows. And Harry's still asleep. My guess is that she won't want to speak to any of us, we're all friends with Harry and she just had a massive fight with Sarah." he told me and I rolled my eyes slightly. He was the biggest gossip ever!

"Well I can phone her if you want. She must be pissed about these photos" I said softly, already reaching for my phone. Louis nodded and I dialled the number, waiting a second for her to pick up. "Eleanor, hi." she said, sounding slightly out of breath. I laughed for a second before speaking, "What are you dong? Why are you so out of breath?" I asked and I could see Louis out of the corner of my eye, straining his ears to listen.
"Sorry, I'm just packing again. I'm coming back to London" she told me, sounding happier than I would have expected.
"Really, where are you staying? I can come to help you unpack later if you want" I told her. "Oh that's great! I won't be here until tomorrow morning, but I'm staying with my Godfather Simon" she said and I frowned. "Simon who? Just tell me his address." I said, grabbing a pen and getting ready to write it down.
She mumbled an address and I wrote it down quickly. "I should probably tell you now that it's Simon Cowell's house" she said and I dropped the pen. Louis was waving his hands in my face trying to get me to tell him what had happened.
"You're godfather is Simon Cowell?" I gulped. Did this girl know everybody in Hollywood? She giggled slightly, "My Dad worked with him and they're great friends. Why are you freaking out so much? You're boyfriend know his too." She stated and I nodded in acknowledgement, before realising that she couldn't see me.
"I guess, it's just weird hearing you talk about it so casually." I said, wondering who her godmother was.
After speaking to her about the photos I told Louis what she'd said about where she was staying. "Are you going to tell Harry?" I asked and he nodded. I felt slightly guilty for giving everything away, but I knew that she and Harry both really liked each other.