Just Being With You

I was startled out of my observations when Louis finally noticed me and proceeded to pounce on me, almost knocking me to the ground.
"Louis, careful! You can't jump on pregnant people!" Liam scolded him whilst the boys looked on in a mixture of concern and amusement. Louis simply let go, brushed himself off and spoke to me. "I can't believe your godfather is Simon. And you're living with him! I liked you before I found this out, but now I love you" he told me, looking around the hallway wildly. "Hello to you too" I mumbled, never taking my eyes off of his best friend who was staring at me.
Zayn cleared his throat slightly, "So where's your stuff?" he asked and I quickly led them into my room, wondering what I was supposed to say to any of them. They didn't seem angry, in fact it was like it had been before. Except Harry had been keeping his distance.
He, like myself, seemed unsure of how he was supposed to act. The boys were acting casual, yet the last time I'd seen him I'd told him I was leaving because I didn't want to ruin his life, yet now I was back, once again messing things up.

Once we reached my bedroom Liam immediately began moving my stuff, whilst Niall and Louis jumped on the bed, Zayn studied my music collection and Harry stood there helplessly. He searched restlessly for things to do, crossing his arms and then immediately pushing his hands into his pocket, before running them through his hair. He sighed out of frustration and the rest of the boys glanced toward him.
"Um, Emme could you get me a glass of water please?" Eleanor asked, looking at me whilst the boys watched on. "Yeah me too" Liam and Zayn added quickly whilst I raised my eyebrows. "Okay, could someone help me to carry them back please?" I asked, looking round at everybody but him.
"I'll come, I'll come. I want to see what kind of food Simon has" Niall said quickly, jumping off of the bed with a thud whilst Eleanor rolled her eyes. "Maybe Harry should go" she suggested and Niall gave a disappointed nod.

I led him through to the kitchen wordlessly, trying to appear calm and collected as thoughts whirled around my head. Finally, I sighed, opening my mouth to speak. "Why are you here Harry? I was a complete bitch to you." I said quietly, not daring to look at him.
"No you weren't. I was stupid. I was immature and I'm sorry for that. You just did what you thought was best for the baby, and I can't blame you for that." he said slowly and I opened my mouth but he held his hand up.
"Just let me finish" he said slowly and I stopped, standing there reluctantly. "I'm even more sorry that you saw those pictures of me with Caroline. I did go out with her, and I can't deny that. But her boyfriend was there with us, and I swear to God, nothing happened." he told me, holding his hands up.
"Nothing?" I repeated, wanting to check that he hadn't done anything before I forgave him. He sighed softly, running his hands through his hair and looking down at the floor.
"I was drunk and we were talking. Her boyfriend had left, and I convinced myself that I still had feelings for her." he told me and I gasped slightly. He looked up, reaching out to take my hand but I whipped it away. "What happened? What did you do?" I asked, narrowing my eyes slightly as they flooded with tears.
"I tried to kiss her." he admitted, whilst the tears began to pour down my face. "But it didn't mean anything. You'd just left me, and I felt completely worthless. I thought if she kissed me I'd feel better about myself. But she didn't kiss me back, and I realised that I only have feelings for you." he told me, watching as I wiped the tears back furiously.
"Harry, I know I left you and I acted like a complete bitch. But at least I admit that what I did was wrong. Here you are, trying to make shitty excuses for something that was unacceptable. You clearly don't just have feelings for me when you were trying to get into another girls pants a few hours after we broke up." I told him and he looked into my eyes pleadingly.
"Emme, please don't do this" he begged me and I looked back at him, anger taking over. "Do what, cry fire? You're the one that lit the match and you can't just come and piss on it now." I told him, turning away to look at the fridge.
"Emme, I love you" he said softly.