Just Being With You

I looked down at the piece of plastic in my hands. It seemed ridiculous that something so small could change my life forever. I gulped, deciding I'd wait until later before shoving it in my handbag.
I walked out of my bathroom at Simon's house sitting down on the bed and contemplating what might happen.
I wondered if, by some miracle, I wouldn't be pregnant and I could just be a normal teenager for once. I could have a normal relationship with Harry, without having to go to scans and give birth, without having to get up in the middle of the night to feed my baby. I could carry on modelling, maybe even start doing more runway.

Then I thought about how great it would be if I was pregnant. I knew Harry would be a great father, not just because he still acted like a child himself, but because he was kind and sweet and caring. The baby would have four uncles who would undoubtedly do anything for them, as well as my family who I knew would dote on it. I would take the baby with me whilst Harry was touring, it would see things most children could only dream of. Most of all, I'd love it. It would be a piece of both myself and Harry, a true object of our affections of each other.

No matter which way I looked at it, negative or positive, I'd feel like I was losing something. I sighed quietly to myself, lifting myself off of the bed and thanking God that at least I hadn't had to go and get the test myself. Simon had asked his housekeeper to get one for me, and she'd been sworn to secrecy in case the press found out.
I sighed to myself, what would my parents think? There was no doubt that Ella thought I could do it, but my mother probably wouldn't have such a positive reaction, especially never having met Harry. Then there was my Dad, I was sure he'd support me, but he'd probably think I'd rushed into things.
I tried to brush it off, knowing that it didn't matter as long as Harry was there.
I didn't have to think for long, two seconds later he burst into the room, running across to me and flopping onto the bed, groaning as he did so.
"My sister phoned" he said simply whilst I laughed. "And?" I asked
"She tries to annoy me on purpose. She saw the interview, worked out what the guys were talking about and keeps laughing at me." he told me, rolling over to face me.
I stifled a laugh, "I guess people were bound to realise what they were talking about. What does your mum think?" I asked with a smile as he groaned.

"Ugh, I don't know. She didn't really mention it so she might believe it's about the fans, but then she might just not want to embarrass me." he said, rubbing my arm gently as he spoke.
Are you going to... You know, today?" he asked and I sighed slightly.
"I'm nervous" I admitted, watching as he continued running his soft fingers up and down my arm.

"I'm here all the way you know" he told me. "That's actually kind of why Gemma phoned. She says she wants to meet you" he said softly. "Really?" I asked, surprised that she wanted to meet me so soon.
"You know she's actually kind of obsessed with you. She used to have a picture of you on her wall and say you were her 'thinspiration'" he said with a laugh and I joined in happily
"Well I'd love to meet her," I said, leaning over to kiss him softly.
"I said we'd go to Holmes Chapel sometime before the tour, I hope you don't mind" he told me and I smiled. "I don't mind, you're family are really sweet." I said.
"So are you going to take the test now?" he asked and I flopped back onto the bed.
"Do I have to?" I asked, as he began poking me in the side. "Maybe I could just wait nine months, see if a baby comes and then we'll have a baby. If not, we won't" I suggested as Harry tried to peel me off of the sheets.
"You have to do it sometime. Maybe you should just get it over with" he told me, giving up on lifting me and hovering above me instead.
"Maybe later" I whispered, pulling his head down to kiss me roughly.

I emerged from my bedroom a while later in a blue playsuit. I yawned slightly before walking into the kitchen and opening the cupboards. I began searching for things to eat, eventually settling on an apple from the fruit bowl.
A second later Harry wondered into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of lounge trousers that I'd had to force him into in case Simon was around. "Clothes are so uncomfortable" he whined, sitting down next to me.
"You will be uncomfortable if Simon finds you walking around his house naked." I warned, taking another bite from the apple as he grimaced.

"You should come and live with me. Then we can both walk round naked" he suggested, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at the last sentence.
I laughed, "Somehow I don't think Louis would appreciate that" I told him, watching as he took a sip of water.
"It makes sense for us to live together though. We might be having a baby, and even if we aren't, I want to live with you. I like waking up next to you" he admitted with a smile. To say I was happy would be the biggest understatement of the century.

"What about Louis though? He probably wouldn't want to live with us having sex right next to him." I said, trying to keep a straight head. "Louis won't mind, he's been talking about living with Eleanor for ages but I think he felt bad about leaving me. If we move in together we could find a house and Louis could keep the flat for them" he suggested, leaning over and taking my hands in his own.
"You've really thought this through, haven't you?" I asked, smiling as I felt like jumping up and down. He nodded slowly, clearly trying to decipher my reaction.
"Well, as long as you're sure, then I'd love to. I've been trying to find a new house anyway, so I have a list of places we can look at if you want."I told him, leaning forward as he jumped off of his chair and kissed me.
"Harry, Harry" I stopped kissing him, pushing him back after a while when things began heating up. "You have to be at the venue in, like, an hour and you still need to get ready. So do I" I added as an after thought, wishing I could there all night with him.
He grumbled a bit before going and getting into the shower whilst I, having already washed, began applying some make up.

It was the first One Direction concert and I wanted to look good, but not over dressed. I knew there would be cameras there so I applied just enough make up, making sure I didn't over do it before straightening my hair and walking over to my wardrobe.
I pulled out a pair of Gucci black leather trousers, a Donna Karan grey cardigan and The Row jersey t-shirt. I slipped them on, taking one last look in the mirror as Harry walked in.

"You look amazing"he told me, running his eyes up and down me appreciatively. My heart fluttered a little at that, whilst my confidence soared. Being with Harry, no matter what was happening, always made me feel better about myself. His easy, laid back confidence seemed to rub off on me, and he was constantly telling me how great I looked.
"Thank you. Are you ready?" I asked with a grin. He nodded, slipping his arm through mine and leading me out of the room.

We arrived to something unimaginable. Seriously, I'd been to the Oscars, but nothing compared to the hoards of girls gathered outside the stadium, hoping to catch sight of the boys as they chanted their songs excitedly. Then we stepped out and they seemed to lose their minds, pushing each other forward until the ones at the front were practically crushed in between the crazy girls and the fence. They screamed, several crying hysterically as they tried to get Harry to look at them.
Several called my name, and the ones that were nice received a grateful smile from me as I tried to get through, led by security. However, some were not so well mannered, instead calling me a whore and claiming that I "stole their man". Seriously.
I scowled slightly as one girl accused me of using witchcraft and putting Harry under a spell. She went as far to scream to Harry that they were married and I must have tricked him into forgetting. Harry looked slightly scared, pulling me closer to him and speeding up.

Eventually we reached the dressing room he was sharing with the boys, and I sat down on the sofa gratefully as the boys shouted out greetings from where they were sitting as their hair was styled.
"Where's Sarah?" I asked Eleanor after she'd given me a hug. "She couldn't make it. She said she was meeting people about moving in with her" she told me softly as Danielle watched for a reaction.
"Are you annoyed?" Danielle asked with a concerned look on her face. I scrunched up my face. "Not really, I mean, I find it weird that she's looking for someone so quickly, but I have no right to be upset about it. Plus I'm looking at new places for myself at the moment. I just want a permanent place where I can relax." I told them as Harry walked over with the rest of the boys.

"Actually, Emme and I are moving in together" he told them happily as he sat down, immediately wrapping his arm around me.
Louis immediately began to sob into his hands. "I can't believe you're leaving me for that...that thing!" he shouted dramatically, gesturing towards me as we all began to laugh at him.
"Hoe long has this been going on?" he asked with a straight face. "Is it because she's prettier than me?", this time he flipped his hair indignantly.

"Jeez, melodramatic much?" Niall said with a grin before Louis pounced on Harry. It seemed he'd recovered from his 'heartbreak' pretty quickly. "I'll miss our naked Wednesdays Hazza" he said and we all burst out laughing.
"That is so disturbing" Danielle said as Louis purred into Harry's chest. Harry blushed slightly, "Louis, that was a secret." he muttered, flicking his best friend on the head and pushing him off of him.

"So, Louis said he thought you were taking the test today" Eleanor said softly as we watched the boys messing around with each other. "I haven't taken it yet. I just, don't know if I'm ready for it to be that real. I mean, I love Harry, and I'd love a baby, but..... I guess I'll just miss my career. I'm just finished shooting the Burberry campaign and I know there's been a lot of interest. I just think that, as long as it isn't confirmed, I can pretend my career isn't over" I admitted, playing with my hair in an effort to not look at her.
I knew I sounded like a complete bitch. Trust me, I thought so more than anyone else. But I didn't want to lie to her when she'd been such a great friend

"You know, a lot of models have children, and their careers don't suffer for it." Eleanor said carefully whilst I hung my head in shame. "I know, but... well you already know that I have body issues, and I feel like I can't go to a shoot unless I feel like I look okay. I'm afraid that after a baby, I'll never feel like that again. Plus, Harry doesn't even know yet. He doesn't know about the eating disorder or anything remotely bad about me, and I'm scared that I'll end up feeling bad about myself again and doing something stupid." I told her, finally looking up to face her properly. It was the most I'd ever told anybody voluntarily, other than Sarah and it felt good to share how I was feeling.
"Emme, you're not a stupid girl. You know that Harry will stand by you through anything, including an eating disorder. And as for becoming ill again, there are so many people here to support you, they will do anything to keep you healthy." she told me, looking right into my eyes as she spoke.
"So you think I should take the test tonight?" I asked her, looking over at where Harry was tackling Liam to the floor with the help of Louis.
"I think you should do what you think is right. There's no point living life in fear." she told me before standing up and walking over to where Danielle, Harry, Louis, Liam and Niall were all laughing at Liam's outraged expression.

I looked over at my handbag carefully, calculating whether I had time to do the test before Harry went out on stage. Nodding to myself, I picked up my bag, walking over to Harry and taking by the hand. I shot him a look designed to say 'We need to talk' before leading him into the bathroom as the boys, led by Zayn, began to catcall.
After rolling my eyes at them I shut the door, locking it and turning to Harry who had put the toilet seat down and taken a seat. "What's up?" he asked, looking at my bag.
"Are you leaving?" he enquired and I simply shook my head, setting my bag down and taking out the test.
"I have the test with me, and I think I should take it now before I completely psyche myself our." I told him and he grinned. "I love you" he told me simply, standing up and making way to the toilet.
"I can't believe I'm about to pee on a stick in front of you" I groaned as he laughed.

Two minutes later Harry and I were sitting there anxiously. "I just want you to know, I'm hear no matter what." Harry told me, squeezing my hand comfortingly.
"You've only told me ten thousand times" I said with a smirk. He shrugged, "Seriously though, I'm here, baby or no baby. No matter what happens, no matter where you are, no matter what you do" he said.
"What do you think I'm going to do?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows as he opened his mouth to speak. "Don't answer that," I interrupted.
"It's been three minutes." I told him with what I'm sure was a look of terror on my face.

Slowly, he took my hand, leading me towards the sink where the test was resting. "Do you want to do it or should I?" he asked. "You" I managed to say, despite feeling completely breathless.
He kissed me slowly before leaning back, holding me in his left hand, whilst the other reached out to pick it up.