So, I Walk With Shadows

The sound of some loud music disturbed my sleep. It sounded so good though, I wasn’t too mad that it woke me up. I heard what sounded like Ronnie’s voice, along with another voice singing sometimes that I couldn’t recognize, accompanied by acoustic guitars, man it sounded good. Ronnie had such a damn beautiful voice. I slipped one leg out of the bed, then the other, my feet hitting the fuzzy carpet. I creeped to the door, dodging the random guitar picks and clothes on the floor, making sure to close the door softly as I left, and padded silently down the hallway. I stationed my self just out of sight by the door of the living room. I could hear better now, though I couldn’t see.

Mother, where are you today?
You took a piece of me the day you went away.
No recollection nor the smell of your perfume,
I took a piece of you the day I left the womb.

Brother, put your needles down,
the best thing for you is to leave this awful town.
Pretty soon, you'll have kids to feed.
If you see mother, tell her I can sing.

Please don't worry,
I am doing fine.
You're much too busy, to even find the time,
So use your chemicals and take this to your grave,
The boys you left, are men you didn't raise.

And daddy, how are you today?
You must be proud of the boys that you have raised.
Your withered heart, and everything its seen,
Your cuts and calloused hands, you had kids to feed.
You had kids to feed.

There was so much emotion in his voice, it left me perplexed. It sounded like he had a pretty hard life too. Ah, join the club, Agent R. He was still singing the last few parts of the song when I peeked my head round the door frame to see what was going on. There was Chris, passed out on the floor, ah, I guess he finally got sleepy. There was Ronnie, sitting on the couch with someone who looked like a mini version of him, but then again, I could only see the back of the two as they were facing away from me. On the other two couches were two other guys, one holding a guitar, as well as the guy who was sitting next to Ronnie; I could see the neck of the guitar poking out from the side of the couch.
The Ronnie clone looked up at Ronnie, and spoke, “That was awesome, dude, we’ve written our first song!” Ronnie smiled gently, “yeah, man, I’m liking the sound of that”
“Sounds sweet” the other guitar playing guy sitting across on the other couch spoke up. Then he noticed me sticking my head out, I hadn’t realised how far I was sticking it out until before I knew it, they all snapped their heads round and stared at me and my failed attempt to run away as if they hadn’t seen me. An unfamiliar voice spoke, “shit, sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you!” I stopped and chuckled, turning back and walking in the direction of the room they were in. “Scare? No, no, you didn’t scare me, I was just worried you guys would be angry that I was listening in or something.”
“So, you like it?” Ronnie.
“It’s incredible, guys” I said, feeling a little more confident. Plus I had to talk a little more than before, seeing as my brother wasn’t there to fill in for me on the talking. They all laughed, and thanked me, asking whether they should make something out of it. “YES!” I almost yelled, grinning widely, making them all jump a little. “Wow, Zo, you’ve really come out of your shell haven’t you?” Ronnie said, sticking his tongue out slightly. “Ok, come meet the guys.”
I paced over, turning to sit on the third, and only empty couch. “Drum roll, please” Ronnie turned to look at one of his friends, who was quite tall, with long curly hair, reminded me a little too much of Slash from Guns ‘n’ Roses. Curly chuckled and started speedily slapping his knees in attempt to create a drum roll. “This here, this is Max,” Ronnie motioned towards the one I had been referring to as his clone. Huh, he looked a little different to Ronnie now that I had seen his face…his beautiful face. Max stood up and stuck his hand out, offering for me to shake it, smiling sheepishly. He had two lip rings poking out of his smile. Adorable. I offered my hand back to his and shook it. His hands were soft and warm to touch, not something I was used to. He looked at me, with direct eye contact, and I was stuck looking into his blue eyes, covered by a few spikes of shaggy black hair, until Ronnie cleared his throat, probably because we stood there staring at each other a little too long to his liking. I smiled at Ronnie, snapping my head away from Max, looking down. Ronnie moved on to the other guys, the next was the one who was playing one of the guitars. “Here we have Monte, he’s shy, you’ll barely notice his presence most of the time” he teased “but, he’s awesome.”
Monte looked up, raising an eyebrow at Ronnie. I giggled at his mock-offended look “nice to see you notice me Ronnie” he chuckled. The next guy stood up himself, I guess he felt no need for Ronnie to have the joy of introducing him. “I’m Robert,” he smiled, “I’m the best out of all the guys” he joked. I heard Max snort, “Yeah, right! You’re looking at a competition between that,” he pointed to Robert in mock disgust, “and this” he nodded, smirking, motioning his hands up and down himself. “I think we both know who wins” he carried on.
“Yeah,” Ronnie burst in between the two, “I do!”. It was fun to hang out with guys for once. I was so used to being by myself at home in my room, safe from my psycho dad or my drugged up mum that I had forgotten what it was like to feel comfortable around people. I mean, I had Chris, who was still sprawled on the floor, so deep in sleep that he was drooling a pool by his cheek, but that’s all I had really. I snapped out of my little train of thought when I realised the three guys had tackled each other to the ground, still arguing about who was the best, I’m assuming. Monte was extraordinarily quiet, he was still sat on the couch, playing a few tunes on his guitar, completely un-phased by the rambunctious guys, rolling around on the floor. I looked up from where I was sitting on the couch, laughing at Max when he stood up suddenly, placing his foot on Robert’s back, “all hail the Mighty Max, who hath slain the Robertasaurus!” smirking, Max pumped his fist in the air. Just at that moment, Ronnie came behind and tackled Max to the ground, “Screw the Robertasaurus, I got me a Maxceratops!”. They really need to cut down on the corny dinosaur jokes, I chuckled to myself.
As soon as they calmed down and took their places back on the couches, Ronnie proceeded to ask me some questions. I could’ve sworn I saw Max looking at me from the corner of my eye. I turned my head to check, as soon as I did, he snapped his head down and fiddled with his belt. So he was looking at me. I smiled, I had only just met him but I really was liking Max.
“So Zoe,” Max grinned, “Zoe, Zo, Zo-Zo, Zo-face, Zoetron, Zo to the E-”
“I get it!” I laughed, “what’s up?”
“Well, I was having fun making nick-names for you, but nonetheless, I shall proceed with my questions” he said in a mock posh English accent. “Questions, eh? Wow, sounds like you were prepared for my arrival or something” I laughed.
“What brings you here, to the one and only sin city? Well, more importantly, what brings you here to the one and only house hold of Maxwell Scott Green, and his fellow slaves, Ronnie, Robert and Monte?” I heard them snigger in the background.
“Well,” I started. Max had sat down next to me and edged right up close. I could smell the familiar scent from the pillow previously. “I ran away from home, we used to live in Pahrump. We hitched our way here with Chris, we got lucky if you ask me, lucky that Chris still had Ronnie’s number” and lucky that I’ve just met you.
“Run away, huh? Well that’s deep man, something real bad must’ve happened for you to run away so young” young? How am I young?!
“What do you mean young? I bet I’m no younger than you Mr Green? What are you, 16?” I added
“17 actually,” he smirked “but it’s okay, I ran away too, I live here with Ronnie who still has his dad, but his mum was a druggie and left him quite a few years back now.” I nodded in acknowledgment, it was nice to know that the guys here would understand me, seeing as they went through similar stuff.
I don’t know where Robert, Ronnie and Monte had disappeared to, until I noticed my brother wasn’t in his previous spot. I guess I was so caught up in my conversation with Max that the other guys had gone upstairs or something to eat, maybe?
“You have really pretty eyes, you know,” referring to my greeny-brown eyes Max snapped me out of my thoughts, holy crap did I just hear what I think I heard? I was never one to like my eyes at all.
I looked up at him, blushing, “thanks, Max,” I paused “you do too. I think we’d have to have a tackle fight to see who wins best eyes” I tried to crack a joke referring to when him, Ronnie and Robert were play-fighting before. I mentally slapped my self. The fuck, Zo? Who the hell says that?! I was shocked at Max’s response, because next thing I knew, Max had seized upon me playfully, pinning me down.
“It’s on,” he smirked,
“On like donkey kong” I replied, chuckling…