‹ Prequel: Kids in Love
Growing Up
05
“Do you want the rest of my Tacos?” Ryan asked holding his paper plate out to Brendon.
Before Brendon could react Ian snatched the plate away. Ryan stood and left the picnic table they were sitting at. Tori watched Ryan walk towards the jungle gym; he climbed up the steps and into the covered slide. She watched and wondered if this had to do with what he was talking about earlier. She wanted to go talk to him but she wasn’t sure what to tell him. She wanted to ask Brendon to talk to him but Brendon was terrible with secrets. Tori wished Spencer was with them he’d know how to make Ryan feel better. Tori looked around the table and watched as Claudia came back from throwing all the trash away and began to unwrap her burrito.
“Claud can I talk to you real quick?”
“umm okay,” She replied setting her burrito down and following Tori a few feet from the table.
Tori stopped when she thought they were out of earshot of the picnic table. “So umm when Ryan and I were alone he went on and on about change and how he hasn’t and now he seems really upset and I don’t know what to do.”
Claudia glanced back at the picnic table to make sure they weren’t eating her burrito. Tori continued rambling about what she remembered Ryan had said. Finally Claudia interrupted, “I’m not sure why you’re telling me all of this”
Tori sighed, “I just, I don’t know he seems really down and I don’t know what to do. I figured you could talk to him?”
Claudia shrugged, “honestly I’m not quite sure what to do, and I mean if he talked to you about it maybe he thinks you’ll be able to give him some insight?”
Tori shook her head, “I can’t I don’t think about that sort of thing. I hadn’t even realized so much had changed already. Besides I kind of already said something to him and it got him more upset.”
Claudia sighed, “Alright I’ll go. But I am taking my burrito”
Tori smiled, “thanks.”
Claudia and Tori returned to the picnic table. Claudia wrapped her burrito back up and walked towards the play set, she thought it was lame except for the tiny rock climbing wall. Where were the swings? Swings were the best part. She walked up the little steps up to the bridge that let you get on the monkey bars or the slide. She sat close to the slide.
“What cha doing?”
“Stuff.”
She poked her head into the slide and watched Ryan writing in sharpie.
“Vandalism, oh Ryan Ross you are such a bad ass. Children everywhere tremble at the mere mention of your name.”
“You’re so annoying,” He put the cap back on the sharpie and crawled out of the slide before lying flat on his back next to Claudia.
Claudia once again unwrapped the burrito and finally took a bite, “oh god this is so good.”
“Manners”
“hmm?”
“mind your manners, you know don’t talk with food in your mouth.”
She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth showing him her chewed up food.
“That’s attractive,” he replied sarcastically.
She laughed and took a few more bites of her burrito trying to think of what to say. Ryan pulled out his phone replied to his text.
“Are you talking to Marissa?”
“Nah it’s just Spence.”
She nodded, “so are you and Marissa gonna get together or. . .”
“Probably not,” he yawned.
“But she’s so pretty”
“She’s really hot but, no personality. She’s boring as fuck.”
“So basically you’d fuck her but you wouldn’t date her.”
“yeah”
“So this is gonna sound stupid, but I like that you talk to me like you would to a guy. It makes me feel like I’m in the club or something.”
Ryan yawned, “nice to know.”
Claudia took another bite of her burrito and looked back at the picnic table. She wasn’t wearing her glasses so they all looked a little blurry. She wished she had made Tori come talk to Ryan she wasn’t sure what to say, and she felt uncomfortable making small talk.
“So umm. . . Tori told me you said some stuff . . . you know,” she wrapped the burrito back up and set it aside, “if you want to talk to Jon you can, I’m not going to get mad. He and I have been texting lately.”
“So you guys are. . .” he put up two fingers as if making a peace sign, and then brought the fingers together. It was his “subtle” way of asking if they were hooking up.
She lied on her back next to Ryan’s feet. “No, nor is that going to happen. I just- actually I’m not sure how we even started talking again; but it’s been a year. We were younger and stupid, I mean we thought we were in love. If what we had was actual love then fuck I’d rather stay alone forever. But what I’m trying to say is people change. We, well most of us learn from our mistakes. Jon is a nice guy we just were not right for each other, we were good as friends, as a couple we were a disaster. But I mean I’ve never been a great judge of what a good relationship is and what isn’t. I mean I thought I loved Spencer, but fuck the two dates we went on were so weird it’s like I was dating my brother or something. Oh god I’m rambling why didn’t you tell me to shut up? But, uh yeah if you want to talk to him, then talk to him.”
“So how is Jon?”
“He’s doing well, he’s thinking of marrying his girlfriend. She sounds great for him.”
“That’s good.” Ryan smiled, Jon was always a romantic. He always made Ryan look bad when they had girlfriends at the same time. It only seemed fitting that he’d be the first out of all of them to get married. He shut his eyes and tried to picture himself getting married. It seemed impossible he’d been in love before but he’d never actually thought about marrying anyone before. With his luck even if he found the perfect girl, she’d probably just run out on him.
“You know a year ago you were so afraid of becoming your father, that you convinced yourself you you had to change everything about yourself, you were so stressed out, you lashed out on everyone. You were so afraid of ending up with your mom that you convinced yourself Tori was the oposite of her and you thought you had to be with Tori. I mean you really thought that if she was with you you’d turn out okay. You were so bitter you couldn’t even enjoy a trip with the people you call friends. You acted like a moody thirteen year old girl.” She sat up, “but in a few short months you’ve changed so much. You finally get that you don’t need a person to like validate you, you are who you want to be. You smile a lot more. I mean you still look like a thirteen year old girl but. . .”
He laughed and sat up, “shut up.”
She grinned, “well I mean get a haircut or buy a training bra.”
He shook his head, “you’re so stupid.”
She shrugged, "yeah, yeah I'm stupid, come on let's get back to the guys."
Before Brendon could react Ian snatched the plate away. Ryan stood and left the picnic table they were sitting at. Tori watched Ryan walk towards the jungle gym; he climbed up the steps and into the covered slide. She watched and wondered if this had to do with what he was talking about earlier. She wanted to go talk to him but she wasn’t sure what to tell him. She wanted to ask Brendon to talk to him but Brendon was terrible with secrets. Tori wished Spencer was with them he’d know how to make Ryan feel better. Tori looked around the table and watched as Claudia came back from throwing all the trash away and began to unwrap her burrito.
“Claud can I talk to you real quick?”
“umm okay,” She replied setting her burrito down and following Tori a few feet from the table.
Tori stopped when she thought they were out of earshot of the picnic table. “So umm when Ryan and I were alone he went on and on about change and how he hasn’t and now he seems really upset and I don’t know what to do.”
Claudia glanced back at the picnic table to make sure they weren’t eating her burrito. Tori continued rambling about what she remembered Ryan had said. Finally Claudia interrupted, “I’m not sure why you’re telling me all of this”
Tori sighed, “I just, I don’t know he seems really down and I don’t know what to do. I figured you could talk to him?”
Claudia shrugged, “honestly I’m not quite sure what to do, and I mean if he talked to you about it maybe he thinks you’ll be able to give him some insight?”
Tori shook her head, “I can’t I don’t think about that sort of thing. I hadn’t even realized so much had changed already. Besides I kind of already said something to him and it got him more upset.”
Claudia sighed, “Alright I’ll go. But I am taking my burrito”
Tori smiled, “thanks.”
Claudia and Tori returned to the picnic table. Claudia wrapped her burrito back up and walked towards the play set, she thought it was lame except for the tiny rock climbing wall. Where were the swings? Swings were the best part. She walked up the little steps up to the bridge that let you get on the monkey bars or the slide. She sat close to the slide.
“What cha doing?”
“Stuff.”
She poked her head into the slide and watched Ryan writing in sharpie.
“Vandalism, oh Ryan Ross you are such a bad ass. Children everywhere tremble at the mere mention of your name.”
“You’re so annoying,” He put the cap back on the sharpie and crawled out of the slide before lying flat on his back next to Claudia.
Claudia once again unwrapped the burrito and finally took a bite, “oh god this is so good.”
“Manners”
“hmm?”
“mind your manners, you know don’t talk with food in your mouth.”
She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth showing him her chewed up food.
“That’s attractive,” he replied sarcastically.
She laughed and took a few more bites of her burrito trying to think of what to say. Ryan pulled out his phone replied to his text.
“Are you talking to Marissa?”
“Nah it’s just Spence.”
She nodded, “so are you and Marissa gonna get together or. . .”
“Probably not,” he yawned.
“But she’s so pretty”
“She’s really hot but, no personality. She’s boring as fuck.”
“So basically you’d fuck her but you wouldn’t date her.”
“yeah”
“So this is gonna sound stupid, but I like that you talk to me like you would to a guy. It makes me feel like I’m in the club or something.”
Ryan yawned, “nice to know.”
Claudia took another bite of her burrito and looked back at the picnic table. She wasn’t wearing her glasses so they all looked a little blurry. She wished she had made Tori come talk to Ryan she wasn’t sure what to say, and she felt uncomfortable making small talk.
“So umm. . . Tori told me you said some stuff . . . you know,” she wrapped the burrito back up and set it aside, “if you want to talk to Jon you can, I’m not going to get mad. He and I have been texting lately.”
“So you guys are. . .” he put up two fingers as if making a peace sign, and then brought the fingers together. It was his “subtle” way of asking if they were hooking up.
She lied on her back next to Ryan’s feet. “No, nor is that going to happen. I just- actually I’m not sure how we even started talking again; but it’s been a year. We were younger and stupid, I mean we thought we were in love. If what we had was actual love then fuck I’d rather stay alone forever. But what I’m trying to say is people change. We, well most of us learn from our mistakes. Jon is a nice guy we just were not right for each other, we were good as friends, as a couple we were a disaster. But I mean I’ve never been a great judge of what a good relationship is and what isn’t. I mean I thought I loved Spencer, but fuck the two dates we went on were so weird it’s like I was dating my brother or something. Oh god I’m rambling why didn’t you tell me to shut up? But, uh yeah if you want to talk to him, then talk to him.”
“So how is Jon?”
“He’s doing well, he’s thinking of marrying his girlfriend. She sounds great for him.”
“That’s good.” Ryan smiled, Jon was always a romantic. He always made Ryan look bad when they had girlfriends at the same time. It only seemed fitting that he’d be the first out of all of them to get married. He shut his eyes and tried to picture himself getting married. It seemed impossible he’d been in love before but he’d never actually thought about marrying anyone before. With his luck even if he found the perfect girl, she’d probably just run out on him.
“You know a year ago you were so afraid of becoming your father, that you convinced yourself you you had to change everything about yourself, you were so stressed out, you lashed out on everyone. You were so afraid of ending up with your mom that you convinced yourself Tori was the oposite of her and you thought you had to be with Tori. I mean you really thought that if she was with you you’d turn out okay. You were so bitter you couldn’t even enjoy a trip with the people you call friends. You acted like a moody thirteen year old girl.” She sat up, “but in a few short months you’ve changed so much. You finally get that you don’t need a person to like validate you, you are who you want to be. You smile a lot more. I mean you still look like a thirteen year old girl but. . .”
He laughed and sat up, “shut up.”
She grinned, “well I mean get a haircut or buy a training bra.”
He shook his head, “you’re so stupid.”
She shrugged, "yeah, yeah I'm stupid, come on let's get back to the guys."