Right From the Start

It has been a long week of me avoiding John and Garrett deliberately avoiding me. What a lovely triangle. It’s not a love triangle though obviously and I don’t want one. That would be too complicated.

It was a very dreary and boring Friday night. I sat on our dining table playing around with my food, still a little choked up over the fact that I saw John hooking up with some chick and that Garrett is still acting like some girl on her period.

My dad was off to some business trip so it was only me, my mom and my dear sister Veronica. I call her Roni though because she didn’t look like a Veronica. She had short red hair and vibrant blue eyes just like mine. She was petulant though which was a constant obstacle for me to actually have a decent conversation with her. Sometimes I wonder if she’s on her period 24/7.

We ate in silence, chewing our peas like it was very normal to have a grief stricken Isa not exactly eating on the table. My hair was tied up in a sloppy bun, few strands here and there tickling my neck. I was wearing a loose shirt and some cotton shorts that had a hole somewhere on my leg. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone mistook me for a homeless woman.

My mom cleared her throat obviously not wanting the tension in this room any longer. She turned her pretty little head towards me with a grimace on her face.

“Isabelle, what happened?” I groaned and slouched further in my seat. When she used my full name shit’s going down.

I continued to play with my food while she continued to stare at me. Roni looked out the window absentmindedly; staring at what I assumed was the flowers she planted. Despite being a moody female she was quite soft hearted when it came to living things…unlike me. I wouldn’t think twice of hitting John with a machete.

“I…uh…” It was a good start. At least I actually said something. If I just sat there without saying a word I was sure my mom would kick me out of the house. Well maybe not but she wouldn’t go easy on me. She’d probably choke me just to get a reply.

“Go on.” Roni snickered at me while I glared at her. I set down my fork on the plate and crossed my arms showing that I wasn’t really in the mood but I was going to oblige because I had nothing else to do.

“Okay so ever since Lily’s party, Garrett; wait you do know Garrett right? Anyway yeah Garrett started to avoid me and I have no clue why he would do that. He got pissed at me for unfathomable reason and he wouldn’t even talk to me! Much less to Laura she didn’t even do anything!” I rambled on and took a deep breath.

“It’s been a week and still no talks or anything. Then there’s John who didn’t even get close to me for the past week. It’s like he magically disappeared and then I saw him near the library and—“ I gasped for air and shook my head. No way was I going to tell her about that make out session and that uh…almost kiss we had. She’ll freak.

“And what?”

“And he ignored me…?” It had some kind of truth though so I’ll leave it at that. My mom gave me a sympathetic smile saying that it’ll all get better and we’re going to be one big happy friend family whatever. I just hope that happens soon. We resumed eating and that’s when I brought up the sleepover thing. I don’t recall asking permission for a sleepover.

“Mom, since when did you know about this…sleepover?” Roni stopped eating and gave my mom a curious stare. I did the same, raising my eyebrows. She shrugged and brought a spoonful of mashed potatoes in her mouth. I had a feeling she planned all of this.

“John asked me. And of course I agreed.” And then she winked at me. My mouth hung open just giving her a disbelieving look. If she told me about this, perhaps, three days ago I would have been ecstatic of her support but now I was downright annoyed and tired. I didn’t feel like facing John when there was this raging battle in my heart. My emotions are all over the place.

I rolled my eyes and swallowed the last bit of food in my mouth. I didn’t want to talk about John any longer. Was I jealous of the girl he was mooching with? Maybe. Was I pissed at him? Yeah, for sinking that low. He’s in high school and people are bound to make mistakes but I don’t want to be there to see him make those.

I scraped the chair back and stood up. “I’m done. I’ll see you in the morning,” I mumbled and placed my plate in the sink. I strut out of the room, shoulders hunched with a very sour expression on my face. I could hear the two of them start talking about Roni’s pathetic excuse for a school and the food she cooked. I sighed and went up the stairs, drowning in self-pity.

The door squeaked as I pushed it open, causing me to groan in annoyance. It was raining which made the air a few degrees cooler. I dragged myself to my bed and took out the elastic that was keeping my hair up into that poor excuse of a hairstyle. I untangled some knots in my hair not bothering to actually use a brush and make it look neat. What’s the point?

I sat down on my bed and continued untangling the mess and saw my phone vibrate on the desk beside my bed. I narrowed my eyes at it as if it was some mouse and I was some snake ready to pounce. I sighed and reached over to grab it, not looking at the caller I.D. because I had this emotional feeling called depression but if you want a lighter term, sadness.

“Isabelle?” I let out a soft groan and rolled over in my bed not caring if my stomach would hurt later. Basically I was too sad to function and to even care for myself which is very unhealthy.

“What do you want, Laura?”

“Isa! So sleepover at John’s tomorrow night, you’re going right?” Her voice was loud and I couldn’t help but cringe. I shrugged even if she couldn’t see me.

“Probably not… I don’t feel like it,” I mumbled while twirling my hair. I looked out the window and stared at the sky. I tried looking for the stars but the rain suppressed my view and the sky was too dark and dreary for me to even see a star. It’s like trying to find the answers but despite searching for it for what seemed like forever, you just can’t find it because you realize something’s blocking you from actually getting those answers. I don’t understand what I just said.

I heard her gasp from the other side of the line then some loud shuffling. “But why?! This is a chance for you to…you know,spend some quality time with John! I bet every girl in school would die to have a sleep over at his house.”

I snorted and rolled over again. I was now lying down on my stomach, face flat on the pillow. I turned my head slightly to speak to Laura and hoped that she could understand me.

“Correction: Every girl would die for a chance to sleep in his bed. Not exactly a sleepover Laura and I’d rather spend a date with a tub of ice cream while watching 10 things I hate about you,” I retorted. Way to go, bitter Isa! I heard her groan on the other side of the line, obviously not happy on how this conversation was going.

“Isa—“

“Laura.” I mimicked her tone just to annoy her some more.

“I don’t know if this would matter but I talked to John a while ago. In the hallway. He was really jittery and all that and when I asked him why…you know what he said?” Laura had this effect on making her voice sound more dramatic and intriguing. I don’t know how she does it but it’s so…amusing and irritating.

I kept silent and she took this as a go signal to continue with her message. I was curious as to what John said at the same time I couldn’t care less. Yeah right, Isa.

“He said that he couldn’t wait to see you tomorrow and that he misses you to the point he kept asking the guys where you were. It’s weird. I know you haven’t seen him for a while, seven days right? But I don’t know if it’ll even mean something but whenever he would see me in the corridors he’d ask about you.”

I didn’t speak. I didn’t think. All I did was breathe and tried to control the beating of my heart inside my ribcage. How was I supposed to feel towards this new fact? I bit my lip and faced the pillow. It constricted my breathing but boy did it help me figure out what was happening.

“Hello? Isa?” I turned my head, took a deep breath, and spoke.

“Still not going.” Why you may ask? One, still confused. Two, still mad at him. Three…I have to make sure first wait.

“Is Garrett going?” I asked Laura.

“Yeah. Basically it’s you, me, John and Garrett. Kennedy might go too. You know him, right? John’s idea and Garrett wanted to tag along. I have no idea why. By the way are you guys on speaking terms once again?”

“No.” Okay reason number three, Garrett’s going to be there and thing’s are going to be so awkward I might as well bury myself alive with pink stuff toys that are really annoying.

“Whatever. Still going to drag you, Isa. I am not going over there alone.”

“But—“

“See ya Isa!” Then she ended the call. I retracted the phone from my face and stared at it dubiously. What a friend, really. I don’t understand why I’m even friends with her. Actually I don’t understand my friends at all. I don’t understand Laura, I don’t understand Garrett and most of all there’s this guy who’s my best friend at the same time he’s my crush. John.

I tossed my phone somewhere on my bed and rolled over. I was now lying on my bed in the correct position while the rain continued to pitter-patter outside my window. I sighed and closed my eyes, hoping for sleep to take over and make me forget all my problems even for just a short while. It was tiring and all I needed was sleep, and a clear mind on what to do tomorrow.

-----

“Isabelle dear, Laura’s at the door,” my mom called out from the living room.

I was in the kitchen doing my best to avoid any living organism in this house. I was moody and quite stressed on what was happening. When I woke up that morning I tried to convince Laura that I wasn’t going through the phone but it ended with her promising to buy me food for an entire week and me cursing at her for being so clever. My love for food will never diminish.

I reluctantly trudged over to where my mom stood, which was behind the door, and clutched my bag full of toiletries. My hair was tied up into this hell of a ponytail and my clothes practically screamed boring. I wore a grey sweatshirt with a tank top underneath and some shorts that are so and so. They’ll probably be my pajamas later. I didn’t put any make up on because who was I trying to impress? No one.

When I reached the door, Laura stood there with her brown hair perfectly pulled back in a neat ponytail. She wore some jeans and a loose shirt. I guess she wasn’t dressing to impress either considering the fact that Jared wasn’t going to be there.

She met my eyes and gave me one big happy smile. I rolled my eyes at her and flicked her off without my mom knowing. She feigned a hurt expression before turning her back towards her car. I was about to follow her but my mom held my wrist and gave me a warm smile. I couldn’t help but return it as well. As much as I hated it that she planned this sleepover I still love my mom.

“Take care alright?” I nodded and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Of course I will. See you tomorrow, Mom!” I skipped down the steps and walked towards Laura’s car. She was already inside, the engine purring like a cat. I pulled the door open and threw my bag in the back seat then I strapped myself in preparing myself for the horrors I will face in the O’Callaghan residence.

We drove in silence for a while that is until Laura spoke up with a peeved tone.

“Are you gonna tell me why you insist on not going or not? Because I can’t imagine you acting like this unless there’s this thing bothering you. Is it John? Garrett?”

I slouched further in my seat and stared out the window. We left my house around six so we’ll arrive around 6:10. More time to hang out with the guys I guess. Don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I merely shrugged before turning to look at her.

“Let’s just say John’s a douche and Garrett’s on his period.” I replied with a monotone voice before turning back to the very amusing window. She gave out a loud sigh before turning right abruptly. I swayed a bit but didn’t react.

“Something is really wrong. You’re supposed to be all jittery and nervous!”

Oh I am nervous but I chose not to show it. Jittery? Well I guess I was itching to slap the shit out of John for leading me on but I can’t say that now can I? It’s not clear. Also I am dying to know the reason behind Garrett’s actions the week before. It’s starting to get on my nerves.

I crossed my arms and let out a sigh. I fished out my iPod from my bag and started listening to some music before I start sleeping inside the boring car. We arrived at the O’Callaghan residence a few minutes later. She stopped the car in front of the house, the engine still running, and turned to me her face dead serious.

“Okay, Ms. Thames when we go inside that house do me a favor.” I rolled my eyes and plugged out one of my earphones.

“And what would that be?”

“Don’t be a bitch.” I raised my eyebrows and looked at her curiously.

“That’s it?” Laura grinned and nodded her head. She cut off the car’s engine and went out of the vehicle, leaving me with one ear open and another ear listening to Michael Jackson. I groaned and grabbed my stuff from the back before pushing the car door open.

I stood outside shivering a little bit as I observed John’s house. The roof was painted red and their lawn was neatly trimmed. The porch reminded me of those times we would play our toys early in the morning when were six years old. I almost smiled at the thought of our innocence back then. Now? Not so innocent anymore are we?

I must have been staring at the house a long time because Laura started to nudge my gut with her elbow multiple times just to gain my attention. I turned to her with hazy eyes and raised my eyebrow. I didn’t feel like talking.

“Are you done staring at your future boyfriend’s house or what?” I scoffed and slapped her arm. She cursed at me while I scowled at her comment.

“He’s won’t be my future boyfriend Laura. Well…as of now I don’t think he ever will be.” I muttered while adjusting my duffel bag over my shoulder. I started walking towards the house. Laura followed close behind me and she grabbed my wrist turning me around.

“Don’t be so pessimistic, Isa! I’m sure your love won’t forever be unrequited. Also, what makes you say he will never be yours?” She was confused that’s for sure. I wasn’t always like this. Gloomy and hard to talk to. I guess the fact that I saw John mooching did affect me to the point I would cast off anyone who tried to help. And Garrett might have contributed too which sucks.

I shrugged in reply and knocked at the door twice. “I don’t know. All I need is a sign…or maybe signs on whether he likes me or not.” She sighed and nodded her head slowly.

“Alright but do know that—“

Laura’s statement got cut off because the door opened. I turned my head and was about to say a sarcastic remark thinking that John was there but nope. Not John. John wasn’t that short and he didn’t have messy dark brown hair with piercing blue eyes. Definitely not John.

My mouth went dry and it was only Laura who spoke up beside me. For some reason my palms were sweating as his eyes narrowed down at me. Great, he’s still mad.

“Hey Garrett!”

I am dead.