Honesty

"Come to Pizza Express with us," Juliana had said, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

That's how Carson always saw her, like an eager woodland animal. She was cute, it was undeniable. In any case, Carson never tried to deny these things.

He unleashed a charming smile on her. "I don't have money for Pizza Express," he said, pulling her to him.

"Don't be tight Car," she said, at the same time as a voice just behind him said 'when do you want me over, Carry?'

He looked behind and saw the girl from his French class. He was going to ask what she was talking about, but she hurried past, and now he could see the phone clamped to her ear.

He turned back to Juliana and shrugged easily. "Fine, how about we split a pizza?"

Juliana snorted. "No way am I sharing a pizza with you, piggy. Get your own."

He laughed, and she took that as carte blanche to tug him along behind her, no care at all for his remonstrations.

Not that he was really complaining. His position and her outfit gave him a sweet view of her derrière.

-

Carson's usual refuge for the two hour Wednesday morning torture session was uneasy, and it was beginning to bother him.

She did not dully concentrate on taking endless notes as she usually did. Instead her eyes - bright and so shiny it seemed unhealthy - darted around.

She seemed feverish, and more than once he saw her subtly try to calm herself down to no avail.

By the end of the two hours he had reached a resolution, although that wasn't surprising. He was never awkward, and he rarely second-guessed himself.

So he sauntered up to her, not having to feign the casual smile on his face.

"Hey," he smiled. The charm wasn't forced, wasn't even thought about. It just poured of him without his knowledge, sometimes.

She dithered a little bit before answering, not sure if he was talking to her.

"Hi."

She continued to pack her things away. He noticed her hands shake, just a little bit.

He perched on the corner of her table.

"You feeling okay?"

Her eyes flew up to him, and there was no hiding her shock at his question. "Yes," she answered hesitantly, the question in her own voice unmistakable. Why was he asking her that? What did he want?

Her phone vibrated with a message, and although he didn't see it, he saw her face, pulled into new worry. She took a deep breath in, released it, then smiled up at him.

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

But Carson wasn't so easily deterred. "Where are you going?" he asked: casual, friendly.

"Just home."

"Do you live on campus? I have nothing on for the rest of the day; I can walk you there."

Her eyebrows drew together, creating a thin line between them.

"Um, no. I live at home. I'm just going to the station."

"Okay."

"You don't - it's just the station. You don't have to walk anywhere with me."

Carson shrugged. "I want to."

She had no reply to that, and so he strolled along beside her, holding open the door.

Juliana and a couple others from their class were just outside of the room.

"Carson, we're going to the deli - oh;" Juliana switched gear when she saw the girl next to him. "Hi Ellis," she said brightly.

So. That was her name.

"Hi," Ellis replied, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes on her lips.

"Jules, I'll meet you guys later. I'm walking Ellis to the station."

Juliana raised an eyebrow at him, but questioned him no further. "Okay. I'll text you if we change our mind about the deli."

And then they were gone.

"You didn't have to do that," Ellis said. But it didn't sound like she cared anymore.

She pulled her phone out, checked to see if there were any new messages. But there was nothing.

"So, whereabouts do you live?" Carson asked.

"North London," she replied, then, after some pushing: "Sort of near Wood Green."

"Oh. I'm South. Greenwich," Carson said.

Ellis nodded, then realising she should make some sort of reply, said: 'Oh. Is it nice?"

"It's alright," Carson said, easy as ever. Then, as if he wasn't drastically changing the subject, "You know, you don't look okay."

Ellis's shock was palpable. "Wha- what?"

"You said you were feeling okay. But you look a little unwell. Or are you high?"

"No - no I'm not - " she begun, before cutting herself off, and settling her features into stone.

With this inhale, exhale, Carson became aware of her breasts rising and falling. She wasn't a stunner, but she was still easy on the eyes.

Especially when her eyes glinted so dangerously and her jaw clenched like that.

They remained silent until they reached the junction.

"Ellis is an unusual name for a girl," he said. He was unperturbed by her lack of response. "It suits you though, I think."

Still, she didn't reply.

He stopped her at the entrance of the station.

"Give me your number," he said, still as unruffled as ever.

She dithered, he noticed, but she did not refuse.

"I'll call you," he said, when the number was saved. Then, raising a hand in parting, he turned and walked back the way they had come.