Playground Love

"I'm so sorry..." "I'm sorry." "Oh honey, It'll be okay."

It'll be okay...

The rain bangs against the car. I stare out the window and watch as the rain drops race each other down. Its such a gloomy day. How cliche.
"Hey..", Jaime says. I keep my head towards to the window. "Everything is going to be okay."
I slowly to turn to him. He glances at me and tries to smile. I nod and turn back to the window.

We finally get to his house, well, our house now. He parks his car in the garage next to Vic's.
"I'll come over to your side so I could give you the umbrella. Just run inside. I'll have your stuff."
"Okay.", I mumble. He gets to my door and opens it. I get the umbrella and start to walk to the house, then quickly run under the roof and walk up to the door. I look behind me and see the pool, the little garden, and the studio, which is being turned into a condo since one of the boys have to move out because I'm moving in. I try opening the front door but it's locked.
I hear a tap from the window next to the door. I look to see who it is and see Vic waving. He unlocks the door and smiles.
"Welcome home Paloma. Come on in."
He gives me a one armed hug and I walk into the warm house. It's so big and pretty in here.
"Paloma!", I hear. I turn my head to the living room and see Mike sitting down on the couch. I smile and wave at him.
"Make yourself comfortable. I'm gonna go help Jaime with your stuff." Vic puts on his jacket and runs outside. I sit next to Mike and stare at my surroundings. The big TV in front of us, shelves full of pictures of people I don't know.. Probably his friends from bands or something. Then two big windows on the walls.
"How you feeling?"
I turn to him and grin. "Okay."
He nods and smiles.
"Yeah just put 'em right here.", I hear Jaime say. I turn around and see Vic and Jaime set my suitcases down on the wooden floor. They shut the door and take their coats off.
"Thank you guys.", I say.
"No problem.", Vic says.
"Paloma, come here. I'll show you around."
I stand up and follow Jaime. He walks into the kitchen and I see a small table in it, a big fridge, and an island in the middle of it. A sink in the far back along with a window.
"This is obviously our kitchen. We have a lot of beer and vodka and stuff in the cupboards above. You stay away from there."
He then walks to the back of the kitchen and pushes open a door, leading us into a big room with a big dining table in the middle.
"This is our dining room. We have all the big dinners and stuff here. Or we just chill.", he shrugs.
We walk past the dining room table and back into the living room. We then take a turn past the couch and into a hallway. He turns to this room with sliding, wooden doors. He quietly slides one open.
"This is Tony's room.", he whispers. "He's asleep right now so you'll meet him tomorrow."
He carefully slides the door shut and we take a right turn to the hallway. He slides open another wooden door. "This is just a mirror and stuff. It's really random.", he chuckles.
He slides it shut and walks to the room at the end of the hall.
"This is Mike's room." We turn back to the room next to it. "This is Vic's room, soon to be yours."
"Where's Vic gonna stay? The condo? I feel so bad.."
"Don't. Tony will be moving into the condo. We all settled it. You dont need to worry about anything, alright?"
I nod and we move on.
"This room is right next to the bathroom. The thing about this big house is that we only have one bathroom. This one. The other one is in my room. Then there’s one in the condo. That’s the only thing that sucks I guess. Let me show you my room. You'll sleep in there for these couple of nights, until Tony gets settled in the condo."
We walk into his room. It has Jaime written all over it. Bass guitars in the corner, posters of baseball teams, soccer teams, and pictures of our parents, little sister, and me. Which is a huge shocker for me.. Last but not least, a big bed in the middle with a nice TV on the wall.
"The bathroom is right over there." He points to the door in the far right corner of the room.
"But where are you going to sleep?"
"On the couch. Don’t worry- don’t worry! I'd show you the garage, also known as the pool table room. I'd also show you around the backyard and condo but its pouring outside, so we'll have to set that off for tomorrow."
"It's okay. I’m sleepy anyways."
"Okay, no problem."
"I'm gonna go get my stuff to get ready for bed." I start to walk away but feel him grab my arm. I turn back to him. "Yeah?"
He stares right at me. "I'm going to try my best to be the big brother you need. I promise."
Before my eyes tear up, I look down and nod. "Sure Jaime."
He lets go of me and I rush back to the living room.
I grab my suitcases and start to drag them away.
"Calling it a night mini Jaime?", Mike says.
Please, do not call me that.
I smile and nod. "Yeah."
"Alright, sweet dreams! Can't wait to hang tomorrow! Good night Paloma! We're all excited to have you here.", Vic adds.
"Thanks guys... Really. Goodnight!", I finally get into Jaime's room.
"The bed's all fixed up for you. Go ahead and get comfy Paloma."
I try my best to smile. "Thank you."
He nods and stands there for a bit. "Well, I'll be in the living room. The guys and I will be watching a movie and stuff. If you need anything- just give me a call alright?"
I nod. "Sounds good.''
He walks up to me and kisses my forehead. "Night Paloma. I love you."
"Love you too. Night."
He walks out and shuts the door.
I walk towards the window and stare out of it. I slide it open and feel the rain drops and cold breeze hit my face. I take in a deep breath of it before shutting the window. I go into the bathroom and start to undress to put on my pjs. As I stare into the mirror, I feel my face. This frown has been on my face for the past week. The smiles I’ve given out are 100% fake. I run my hands through my long black curls. My mom's hair. I sigh and pull on my pajama shirt. I get closer to the mirror and stare at my eyes. The first thing people use to point out were my olive-green eyes.
'Just like your father. Did you steal them from him?' My mother's voice plays in my head. Now people point out the fact that I lost half my family. I take in a deep breath and let it out.
I crawl into bed and pull the covers over me. I stare up at the ceiling and close my eyes. You made it through another day. That's a step to getting better. Maybe it will be okay. Maybe you and Jaime will repair your relationship with each other as siblings. Maybe this pain, this black hole in your chest, will leave.
Maybe I'll finally get a good night sleep.
Maybe.... Maybe.
And then I drift away into the dark.