Playground Love

There's a knock on my door. I really don't feel like talking to anyone- other than Tony.
“Paloma? It's Vic. May I come in?”
“Of course.”
I need to lighten up, it's just Vic.
He comes in and shuts the door behind him. “Hey, P.”
I smile at him. “Hey, Vic.”
“Vanessa just dropped Jaime off.”
I nod. “Vanessa..”
Hmph.
“He's in a... Not okay condition.”, he says. “He really regrets doing that to you.”
“I know..”, I murmur. I put my legs up to my chest.
“You think you could ever forgive him..?”
He walks up to my bed and sits on the corner of it. “For everything?”
I stare down at my knees.
Could I? Of all the things he's done? Abandoning my parents and I, never being there for me, not caring about me until our parents died, and what he did to me yesterday...
“I could lie and say yes.”, I say blankly.
Vic sighs. “Please- understand- he's trying his hardest to make this work out. He loves you, Paloma. He really does.”
“I'm not saying I won't forgive him, Vic.”, I say and look up at him. “It'll just take a lot of time to do it.”
Vic nods. “I understand.”
“I'll forgive him one day.”
“Tell him that. Tell him you'll eventually forgive him. Tell him what you're telling me.”
I nod. “I will.”
Vic smiles. “Good. He's asleep right now.. But when he wakes up..”
“I'll be sure to talk with him.”
He smiles again.
He stands up and starts to walk to the door. “Oh-”, he says and turns back around. “Do you know whats up with Tony and Mike?”
I swallow nervously. “I have no idea.”, I say and look back down at my knees.
Vic nods. “I'll see whats up.”
He walks out of the room
Oh god.
I know this isn't going to end good.

~

“Please tell me that was just Stephanie in your living room half naked. Tell me that she dyed her hair black and got extensions in her hair and got a tan. Please. Tell me that.”, Mike says and rubs his temples.
I put my head in my hands.
“Mike- please!”, I say.
“Seriously, Tony?! What the fuck are you thinking?!”, he yells and turns to me. She's Jaime's sister!!!”, he sharply whispers.
“I know!! I fucking know!!”
“She's 17!! Remember?!”
I run my hand through my hair. “Fuck!”, I yell.
“Guys? What's going on?!”, Vic says coming into the living room. Mike shakes his head and looks down.
“Care to explain, Tony. Because you have yet to.”
I put my head in my hands again.
“What...”, Vic says slowly.
“I- I'm-”, I stutter. “Fuck.”
Mike looks up at me. “Just say it.”
Vic stares at me. “What?”
“Spit it out, tone.”, Mike says.
I feel my hands grow sweaty. How am I supposed to say this? What am I supposed to say anyway??
“I'm- I'm with Paloma.”, I finally say.
Vic gives me a confused look. “Huh?”
I sigh and stand up. “I'm with her! We're- we're fucking together!”
“Pun intended.”, Mike murmurs.
“Shut the fuck up.”, I say.
Mike laughs and stands up. “Just saying it like it is!”
“Whoa- what?!”, Vic yells. “You're what?!”
I just stare at him.
“Please tell me I'm misunderstanding this.”, he says.
“Nope. You're not.”, Mike says. “I saw her- and- fuck, Tony. Do you even know what you're doing?!”
“No! I don't! I- yes.. I don't know! I don't know!!”
Vic comes up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Dude- you're actually... You two are really...”
I nod. “Yah. We've had sex. We are having sex!”, I blurt out.
Vic's face turns a lighter shade.
“Why?! Why the fuck does it have to be her?! What about Stephanie?!”, Mike yells.
“It's not all about that! You're taking it the wrong way!”
“The wrong way?! You're screwing Jaime's fucking sister, Tony!”, Vic says.
“Look-”, I say sharply. “It's more than the fucking sex.”
“Wait- so you actually fucking like her?!”, Mike says.
I stay silent and stare at them.
“Oh fuck.”, Vic says and shakes his head. “You love her??”
I sit back down and lean my head down on the couch. “Yah. I do.”
Mike sighs and sits down next to me. “Guess that's a little better than just using her to get laid. But still-, Tony. Seriously?? Do you know what you're getting yourself into?”
I shut my eyes. “Now I am.”
Vic sits next to me. “If Jaime finds out about this Tony...”
“I know. I know.”
“He'll kill you.”, Mike says. “I'm not just saying that either. He'll literally- kill you.”
“Fuck. What should I do?!”
“End it. Now.”, Vic says. I sit up and look at him.
“No.”
“You have no choice!”, Mike says.
“No! I'm not ending it! I know this is fucking crazy- okay! But I can't- I can't let her go!”
I can feel my anger start to build up.
Mike notices and sighs. He walks up to me and stares right at me.
“Tony, think about this- Is this actually... Love? Do you actually feel this way about her? Seriously, think about this. Think about Stephanie. You two have been together for years- think about it.”
I look down, his words sinking into me. Stephanie... What if I'm wrong about her? What if she isn't cheating? I haven't seen her in days though.. Thats' not normal in a relationship. At all.
I shake my head. “Stephanie and I aren't even together. We aren't even a couple.”, I say quietly.
I'm surprised about how much that bothers me.
“Deep down, you love her with all your heart. You two are like- fucking soul mates.”
“We were.”
“Tony-”, Vic says. “Even if you and Stephanie aren't good.. Think about Jaime. He's going through so much right now with Paloma. He's killing himself with all the guilt of never visiting his parents or calling them. You know what he's going through. What do you think this will do to him? Mike and I respect that fact that you might actually have feelings for her- but we gotta think about Jaime.”
I think I'm actually going to cry. Are they really telling me to let go of her? To forget all about this? How am I supposed to that?
“And what do you want me to do? Forget that Paloma and I had something going on? What- live our lives in this house pretending we didn't do what we did with each other? Try to push these fucking feelings away?”
They look down. “Exactly. Its not easy.”
“You need to do what you gotta do, Tony. But let it sink in. Let everything we said to you sink in. We'll let you decide.”, Vic says. “Paloma told me she's going to talk to Jaime and try to patch things up. Things might look up for him- finally. So just think about it..”
“Fuck.”, I murmur. “Fuck everything.”
“Tony-”, Mike starts. He grabs my arm and I yank away from it then storm off. I slam open the door and walk into my condo to get my car keys. I walk back to my car and get in it.
“This isn't fair. I'm actually starting to be happy again and now I have to give it up. I have to give her up.
I put my head against the wheel and shut my eyes. Scenes from this morning and the night before flash in my mind.
Forget all about it?!
How am I supposed to do that?!
“Tony?”, I hear from outside of the car. I look up and turn to look out the window. I see Paloma standing there. She fixes her shirt and moves a strand of curly hair behind her ear.
She steps closer to the car. Vic and Mike come out of the door and I start the ignition.
I cant fucking handle this.
I drive off, not turning back.
This is my decision- then fuck it.

~

His car drives off- he just left. He didn't even turn back to look at me. It feels like someone smashed their hands into my chest and squeezed my rib cage together, crushing my lungs. My eyes spill out tears- what's going on? Why did he leave?
I turn around to Vic and Mike. “What did you say to him?!”, I yell out.
“Paloma- we know what's going on between you two-”, Mike says.
“Who cares what we do?! Its not your business!”
“Think about Jaime!”, Vic adds.
“I was! I was going to settle things with him- make it all right! Then once were okay- I would tell him!”
“Tony has a girlfriend-”
“Who's cheating on him!”
“You don't know that for sure, Paloma.”
“Fuck!”, I cry out, frustrated. Mike and Vic walk up to me and try walking me back in the house.
“I'm sorry, Paloma- but this can't happen. You know what Jaime would do. We all know it.”, Mike says grabbing my arm.
“You don't understand- I love him.”, I say emotionless.
I can't take this.
I push them away and run off.
“Paloma!!”, Mike yells. I run as fast as I can. I run down the hill and run and run and run. I try searching for Tony's car in the distant of the streets.
“Tony?!”, I scream out. “Tony?!?”
I run up and down the streets.
I turn corners. I search and I search and I search.
House and house and more houses. No cars in sight.
“No, no, no, no..”, I repeat. “No, no- no!”
I finally grow tired and sit down on the curb of a random house. Who knows how far off I ran.
I just feel like disappearing. Like dying. He probably went to Stephanie. He's probably going to forget all about me.
The pain in my stomach is too much to bare. I start to sob, tears filling my neck and chest.
“Paloma?”, I hear. It's not Tony's voice. I don't bother looking up.
They move my hair away from my face. “Paloma?? What's wrong??”
I cant stop crying.
They move my face and make me stare at them. I look up and see Matt staring at me.
“Paloma- oh fuck- what happened?!”, he says and pulls me into a hug. He sits down next to me. I start to sob onto his chest.
“What's wrong- what happened?”, he murmurs. “Do you want me to take you home?”
“No- no! No..”, I say.
He squeezes me tight. “Come on- you're coming with me.”
He lifts me up and walks me into the house next door to where I was.
“This is my home.”, he says as we walk to the front door.
At this point- I don't care where I go. I had forgotten everything I did with Matt up until this point. But I don't care anymore. I don't care.

We enter his house.. and he shuts the door behind us.