Playground Love

“There's food in the fridge... The alarm is set on.. And all the numbers of the guys are also on the fridge.”, Jaime says and grabs his pack.
I roll my eyes and nod, leaning against the wall.
He stops in front of me and stares at me. “Call me if anything happens.”
I look down, annoyed. Just leave already.
Tony comes through the front door. “Hime, its time.”, he says.
Jaime nods and kisses my forehead. I flinch away.
He pats the side of my head. “We won't be long.”
“Mmhmm.”, I mumble and start to walk off.
Tony catches up to me and nudges me. “Be nice?”
I stare at Tony, he grins and my heart flutters around.
I nod. “Bye Jaime. Have a good time.. recording.”
Jaime smiles and waves. “See yah soon. Tony- c'mon.”
“Actually, I came to get some waters- go on.”
“Alright- see yah.”
Jaime walks out the door and Tony turns back to me. “Why are you so mean?”, he says chuckling.
I sigh. “I'm just- irritated.”
“Because we're leaving to the studio?”
“No- no..” He pokes my stomach and I twitch away. “Go get your waters, they're waiting.”
He laughs and jogs to the kitchen. Seconds later, he comes back with two water bottles in his hands. “You gonna be okay here?”
I nod. “Yes. I am.”
“My number is on the fridge... If you ever wanna talk. I always have my phone.”
Something about the tone of his voice when he said that gives me butterflies.
I look down and smile. “Yah... Okay..”
He comes up in front of me and pulls me in for a hug. It's so unexpected.
I hold my breath as my body sticks against his and feel as he wraps his arms around me.
“I'll see you soon! Don't throw any parties!”
My cheek is against his chest, I wonder if he could feel my heartbeat... Oh god...
We finally pull away from each other. I wipe my hands slyly on my jeans, they're a bit sweaty.
“Um- well bye.”, I stutter.
I look up and he smiles at me. “Bye, Paloma.”, he says.
It more like flows out of his mouth. I want him to repeat my name again.
I find myself standing there for a very long time. He's already gone, they're all gone. I pull myself together and walk to my room. Something is seriously wrong with me. I can't think of him like that.
Ugh, whatever. I just got caught in the moment.
My brother and his friends are on their way to the studio which, 'sadly', is hours away. And I am left alone here for the next two days.
Time to make it last.

“So- they treat you right?”, Angie asks.
I pop a strawberry in my mouth. “Yup.”, I muffle out. “They're all really cool.”
“Especially that Tony guy, huh?”, she laughs.
I roll my eyes. “Oh, shut up.”
“You're the one who kept talking about him!”
“He's the one that- well he's- whatever.” I walk to the couch and lay down on it.
“Are you starting to grow a little crush for him?”
I stay silent for a while. Am I? I mean, what other answer is there?
“I- I don't know, Ang.. Am I?”
“I think so.”
I sit up. “That's so embarrassing though.. Oh my gosh, I can't like Tony. That's pathetic and weird and stupid.”
“Calm down- why is it so weird to have a crush on guy.. it's just a crush.”
“Because! Hes' like, years older than me-”
“Only- what, 30?!“, she jokes.
“Oh shut up! Not even close, but he's way older than me! And he's Jaime's close friend- and band mate. No. Just- no. It's just something I'm getting use to. Us being friends and stuff. Something I'm getting use to.”
I lay back down, making myself believe my own lie.
“Sure, sure. Lets see what happens.”
“What?”
“When you call me next time- I bet it will have something to do with Tony.”
“Shut up! No! That's weird! Look- I'm gonna go and shower. Then call Jaime cuz he wanted me to. Talk to you later.”
“Okay, okay. Bye.”
I hang up and walk to the bathroom. I start the warm water and strip from my clothes.
What an awkward thing. Having a little girl crush on Tony- weird. But the way I've been feeling lately, I can't deny it either. I shake the thought away and step into the warm water. I lean against the tile wall and let the water wash me down. My eyes are shut and without thinking, flashes of Tony come to me. That time when we were moving the boxes.. That was weird. The way he looks at me, it's different now. Maybe it's just me and my stupid over thinking. Yah, it probably is. Then I think about what happened before he left. The random hug he gave me. The way his arms felt around my body.. His cool breath along my neck...
I get this tingly feeling in between my hips as I think of it. The way his hands would feel on my bare skin... His lips... On my neck...
I force open my eyes and stick my head in the running water.
Snap out of, Paloma. Don't think like that- it's weird.
I grab some soap and start to rub it in my hair. As I wash it off, the thoughts still come in.
I can't push him out of my mind. When I get out of the shower- I have to call him.
Wait- what?! Am I crazy now?
Okay- I'll text him...
I'm crazy.

I stare at the number on the fridge. The seven digit number underneath the name Tone-Tone.
I laugh lightly at the nick-name. I look down at my phone. I've already started a new message with it, now I just need to type what to say and send it.
I take a deep breath and then let it out.
Then I start to type, something simple.
'Hey Tony. It's Paloma!'
Send.
Oh god, what did I do?! I'm so lame!! What if he doesn't even respond!!
That's it! I'm never going to talk to him again! I'm done! I'm so stupid.. Fuck!
Then my phone beeps. I catch my breath and look at the screen.
He texted back.
'Paloma! I didn't think you'd text me. :) what's up?'
Oh. My. God.
This huge, ridiculous smile shows up on my face. Butterflies blossom in my stomach.
This is it- I'm texting Tony!
I'm texting Tony...

Hours have passed.
Tony and I are still texting. We've talked about almost everything. Well- practically everything. Except for my parents... I try avoiding that topic. He tells me a lot about himself. About tours... Shows... Right now, apparently, they're recording their new album. Jaime hasn't told me anything about a new album, or even about all their success in this band. But anyways, Tony tells me that Jaime is doing his bass parts and that he's on his break.
I tell him about what I'm doing-which is nothing. Told him that I spoke to Angie- then explained who she is. He told me about his close friends. Then talked about how much of a dork he was in high school and how much he hated the place.
We talked about a lot of things.
Then after a very long time of texting, he finally had to get back and record. I send him a farewell text and set my phone down.
Wow.
That was amazing. It's so easy to talk to him.
I lay in my bed and let out a cliche sigh.
This was just a nice conversation between friends. Pals. Amigos. See- no big deal at all.
Then I remember, I need to call Jaime.

“Hello?”
“Hey Jaime.”, I say blankly.
“Paloma, I was just about to call you! What's up?”
“Nothing.”
...
“Oh- you're not doing anything?”
“No. Just in my room.”
“Hmm. Okay. Well- I'm just doing my bass stuff. Vic has a lot of vocals and Mike is killing it with the drums! Tony has some pretty intense...”
His voice fades away. I'm not really listening. I know, it's sad. A simple conversation with my brother and I can't even stay awake through half of it. But with Tony- I could talk to him all day if I could.
“So?”
“Wait- huh?”, I say and stop thinking.
He chuckles. “Why don't you go outside and hangout? Make friends in SD.”
“Oh- no, no.”
“Come on.”
“No- I already have friends.”
“They live two hours away.”
“So? Doesn't mean that they're not my friends anymore.”
“I know- I know! I'm just saying..”
“Well, don't.”
Silence.
“I'll see you when you come back.”, I say.
He sighs. “Okay..”
I hang up.
Easy for him to say. Poor little girl who lost half her family and who has no friends!
Don't pity me, I don't need it.
I'm angry now. I start to think about things- bad, negative things.
I need to sleep this all off. Calm down.

And so I do.