Playground Love

I'm outside, it's raining. Hard. Out of no where- I here my little sister laughing.
“Paloma! C'mere!”, she sings.
I smile at her and take her small hand into mine. We run up to the front yard of our home. Our small, but roomy home.
“Kathy! It's raining!”, I say. I hear her melodic laugh as we run. We get under our front porch and Kathy keeps laughing. Her small, little laugh making me laugh along with her. Her long, black hair all the way down to her lower back, curling by the ends already.
“C'mon P!”
She runs inside the house and I follow after her. We enter the living room, and it's exactly how I remember it the last time I saw it.
Kathy runs off into the kitchen. I stay in the living and look around.
“Paloma?”, I hear a soft voice call out. I turn around and see my mother sitting on the couch. She has a nice sun dress on though it's pouring rain outside. “Honey, come here.”
With a big smile on my face I make my way next to her. I immediately wrap my arms around her and she squeezes me tight. I feel her hair fall down on my cheek, tickling it. She kisses my head softly.
“I miss you.”, I whisper in a cracked voice.
I feel someone else touch me. I turn around sharply and see my dad sitting down next to me. I'm delighted to him. I throw myself at him and he embraces me in a tight hug and showers of kisses.
“I miss you so much!”, I say desperately. The lump in my throat starts to form. I lean my head on my dads chest and start to sob. "I miss you.. I miss you...”, I cry. I feel their hands rub my back... Until the feeling fades away. I try to grab my dads shirt, but when I clench my hand to take it, I grab only air. I open my eyes and see that I'm in an empty room. Pitch black. There's no one here.
I start to sob, hard, into my hands. I scratch my face in frustration and sob. “I want them back! I want them back!”, I scream.
I yell.
I pound on the blackness.
With every scream and hit, the room gets smaller and smaller. Until, there's nothing left.

Then I wake up.
My eyes slowly open. I feel tears slide down my cheek. I don't bother wiping them off. There's a feeling of sadness lingering in the air now. That horrible ending in the dream.. The frustration, the hurt, the craving of my parents coming back to me to wrap their arms around me... It's in me.

I decide to take a small walk outside. Maybe it'll help wipe off this depression.
I walk up the driveway and turn into the woods. Staring at only the ground the whole time. I come to my usual spot, the log on the floor, but look up when I hear someone laughing and talking.
Two boys sit on the log. They're both wearing flannel. One with brown and green, the other black and gray. The dirty blonde one has a can held in his hand and the other one with the brown and green flannel and with the black beanie watches as his friend places his mouth on the hole of the can and sucks in the smoke coming from inside of it. After some seconds, he lets go. The beanie guy takes the can, covering the hole. Finally realizing what's going on, I start to slowly walk away. I step on a branch, which cracks, making a loud noise. I look up and the boys snap their heads up at me. The blonde one has his eyes wide open and he opens his mouth in shock, letting the white, misty smoke out of his mouth.
“Fuck.”, the one with the beanie murmurs.
I raise my hands up in front of me. “It's okay. I was just leaving.” I start to walk away.
“Wait!” The blonde one comes up behind me. “You're not gonna tell anyone about this right?”
“No, it's not my business. I don't care.” I start to walk away again.
“Hey..”, he murmurs. He jogs in front of me. “Thanks.”
I nod and smile, then walk past him.
“Wait- hey!”
He comes up next to me and I stop in my tracks. “What...?”, I say slowly.
“You new here? I haven't seen you around.”
He puts his hands in his pockets and stares at me. I move a strand of curled hair from my face and look at him. “Yeah, I just moved in with my brother.”
He grins. “Ahh- yes. You wouldn't happen to be Jaime's sister?”
My eyebrows crease, giving him a confused look. “How did you-”
“I'm pals with him. Well- he doesn't like me much. But we talk.. Sorta."
Blondie and I might get along.
“But I remember him mentioning his sister moving in. When he was yelling at me that when she does, I better stay away.”
We both laugh. “My brother is dumb.”
He chuckles. “He's alright. Well, I'm Matt. My friend over there-”, he points to one sitting on the log staring at us. “That's Gabriel. As you can see.. We're taking break to the fullest and..”
“Getting high in the woods?”
He chuckles again and looks down. “Yup.”
I smile and shake my head. “Well, I'm Paloma.”
“Paloma..”, he repeats softly. “Beautiful name. So- what brought you here? In the woods?”
“Nothing.. Nothing. Just a small walk.”
He nods. “What brought you here to San Diego?”
I panic a little. The horrible ending of the dream I had earlier pops in my head. The feeling slowly creeping back in me. “Visiting... My brother.”, I lie.
“Cool. Cool.”
I simply nod. The feeling is back now. I'm not really sure when it left, maybe when Matt was speaking. But I wish with all my heart for it leave again. So bad. I look down trying to fight back the tears.
“You okay?”
Once I collect myself I look back up. “Ye-”, I start to say. But then realize, why lie? What's the point?? If I say yes, I'll probably end up sobbing right here this very second. So I say, “No. I'm not okay. I'm not.”
Matt's face falls into a frown and he tilts his head. “And why is that?”
I bite my lip. “Multiple reasons. It's complicated. I just know that I'm not okay. At all.”
He turns away, thinking for a second. “Ah-ha!”, he says and points at me. He licks his lips and rubs his hands together. “Look, I don't like it when people- even people I just met- aren't okay.”
I stare at him.
“How about smoking with us?”
My heart beats a bit fast. I've never done drugs before. The farthest I've gone was getting drunk in my 17th birthday. But that's all and that's not even a drug.
“Just one small hit. Maybe two? To brighten your day. I don't know you- but a pretty girl like you shouldn't be feeling down. How about it?”
I think for a long second.
Should I really smoke pot with two guys I just met? Of course not! That's the stupidest shit anyone could do.
But then again, what do I have to lose? Who do I have to stop me? Jaime isn't here. He's hours away recording. Or drinking. Or whatever.
Matt stares at me, waiting for a response.
“Okay. Okay- let's smoke.”, I say.
He smiles and nods his head. “Alright then. Follow me.”

Hours later and who knows how many hits later, I finally stand up and stretch my body. Every inch of it feels amazing. I'm in such a good mood- I almost forget that I lost half of my family. Right now- I'm high out of my mind.
“Thought you said two hits.”, Gabriel says laughing. I nudge his shoulder and laugh.
“What's five more??”, I ask.
“Thatta girl!”, he cheers.
Matt grabs my hand, then starts spinning me around in circles. I tilt my head back and watch as the trees around me turn into blurs. He lets go of my hand and I stumble back. He tries catching me, but when he grasps my hand, he falls right on top of me. We both laugh for the longest time. I stop laughing and stare into his eyes. I don't know if it's the pot talking- but his eyes are the best I've ever seen. And so are his lovely lips. He silently chuckles and stares right back me.
“Your eyes are.. Pretty. You're pretty..”, he murmurs. I smile and his head gets closer to mine. Then I feel his cool lips press up against mine. I tilt my head as he kisses me.
“Aw! Come on guys!”, we hear Gabe whine. “I'm gonna leave!”
Matt pulls away and we stare at each other in shock. Then I grin. That was really shocking, but it felt really nice.
He gets up off me and helps me up. We wipe off our clothes and start to walk back to my house.

“Well- I don't know what to say.”, I say to Matt and Gabe. “We stayed in those woods until the sun came down.”
Gabe laughs. “But I see you had a good time?”
I laugh hysterically, the high obviously still in me. “Of course!”
“Alright, well I'm heading back home. I'll call you up later Matt.”
Matt waves and Gabe disappears.
It's only Matt and I now. We're standing in front of my front door, silent.
“I had a really good time. And I'm not talking about the pot.”, he finally says. I smile.
“I had a good time too. Because of the pot..”
We both laugh.
“Can I kiss you again..?”
Say no. You got caught in the moment back there. You don't know this guy at all. Say. No.
What do I got to lose.. Who fucking cares...
“Yah...”, I barley whisper.
He leans in and kisses me. His lips are warm. They take away all the feelings I have inside of me except for the small butterflies sprouting.
I get closer and put my hand behind his head, our lips pressed against each other.
After some time, we pull away. He slides a finger down my cheek and smiles.
“Can I see you some other time? We could hang out..”
Say no! Say it!
I nod. “Yah, yes.”
He smiles. “Then I'll see you soon, hopefully.”
Fuck Paloma, Seriously?!
“Goodnight Matt...”
“Night, Paloma..”
He walks off.
Wow. What just happened?! Did I- what?! Oh fuck.
As I lay down in my bed, I decide go check my phone. I left it here, neglected.
There's three missed calls. All from Jaime. Then four texts. One from Jaime, the other's from Tony. I read Tony's first.
'Paloma! What's going on?'
'Jaime's been calling you... Pick up?'
'Now I'm worried. Where are you?'

I'm so sleepy and dizzy, I don't even try to reply. Instead, I let my phone slip out of my hands and I knock out.