Worlds Collide

Owen and the Doctor walked out of the Hub, each mulling over what had just occurred.

“I suppose that was my fault.” The Doctor admitted eventually, as they reached the traffic lights near the Millennium Centre.

“Probably.” Owen shrugged. “But she gets like that a lot, so if I was you I really wouldn’t take it personally.” He offered the Doctor a smile, which when it was returned to him was magnified considerably. Owen had a feeling that the Time Lord may use that particular smile to deflect an awkward situation and decided to beat him to it. “So, that box is your time machine.” The Doctor nodded as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, although it had been a statement rather than a question.

“’That box’, as you put it, is a TARDIS. Stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space - so technically Dr Harper, and I do like being technical, it’s a spaceship as well as a time machine.”

“Are you this full of yourself all of the time?” Owen raised an eyebrow. It was typical of Owen to save the worst of his teasing for those he felt most comfortable around, so in a way this comment could have been read as a compliment for the Doctor, and as the Doctor is not - and never has been – either stupid or lacking a sense of humour, he grinned again.

“Only when there’s someone around I want to impress.”

“Are you coming on to me? I get enough of that from Jack!” Owen laughed. “Ah, no, of course you’re not.” He cast a sly glance at the Doctor. “Her name’s Rose, right?”

“Rose Tyler. And before you say anything else the answer is no.” The Doctor looked across at Owen in a way which reminded the younger man of his Physics teacher at secondary school.

“Well she’s a Londoner; I’ve worked that much out.” He pretended he hadn’t heard him. “What is she then, your assistant?”

“Companion.” The Doctor corrected him, mentally noting that Rose would probably have slapped Owen for that particular comment.

“Well, Doctor, there’s enough sexual tension between you and your ‘companion’ to give Jack and Ianto a run for their money.” He replied bluntly.

The Doctor’s next action, he would admit at a later date, was best described as petty.

Back in the Hub when they’d been introduced to the Torchwood team, the Doctor had quickly and carefully tapped into their heads. He’d been known to do it on occasion – Harriet Jones’ downfall sprung to mind – to suss out who he was dealing with, and this time had been no different. He had, though, found out more about the team in the seconds he’d been connected to them than he probably would in the whole time they were working together.

Jack and Ianto’s relationship –if it hadn’t been clear enough already; the incident with Ianto’s partially cyber-converted girlfriend Lisa; Owen and Diane; Gwen and Rhys; Gwen and Owen (he had, by that point, come to the conclusion that Jack and his libido had been a terrible influence on the team and that they should be pitied) and, perhaps the most interesting of all, Tosh’s feelings for Owen.

“Well, Owen,” He began. “As we’re talking about working relationships why don’t you tell me a little about you and Miss Sato?”

“Tosh?” Owen frowned as the Doctor smiled to himself – petty or not, his plan was working. “What about her?”

“Oh, y’know, just an innocent question. I mean, the rest of the team are all paired off right?”

“I’d hardly call Rhys a member of the team. Andy’s more of a team member than he is!” Owen scoffed.

“I don’t know who that is.” The Doctor pointed out. “But my point is, Jack and Ianto have each other and Gwen has Rhys. Is there anyone waiting for you when you traipse home from a night of alien-bashing?”

Owen sighed. This line of questioning was something he most definitely was not comfortable with.

“No, to put it bluntly, there isn’t.”

“And Toshiko?”

“Not as far as I know.” The Doctor said nothing else on the matter. He didn’t feel the need to, and simply smiled to himself as they walked along.

They reached a pretty non-descript office building, and frowned at each other.

“Are you sure this is right?” The Doctor looked disbelieving. Owen shrugged.

“Don’t you have some sort of crazy alien device to work that out for us?”

“Well as a matter of fact...” He pulled the sonic out of his pocket. A moment later he replaced it. “It’s right.”

“Anything that could get us inside?” Owen was intrigued. The Doctor flashed him some psychic paper. “Blank paper?”

But as soon as the words left his mouth, words appeared on the paper.

Not always.

The man looked at the Time Lord incredulously.

“That’s fucking insane.”

“I know.” The Doctor said proudly, walking through the front door and straight into a burly security guard.

“And who might you two be?”

“Detective Inspector Smith and Police Constable Harper.” He flashed him the psychic paper while he thought of an alibi. “We need to see whoever the most senior person here is.”

“It’s part six o’clock.” The guard glared at him.

“Well, yes.” The Doctor’s brow creased momentarily. “What difference does that make?”

“You can come back tomorrow, when people are actually here.”

“Listen, mate.” Owen stepped in. “We know there’s still people here, there’re cars outside. Now let us in.”

“Or what?”

“Did the words ‘Police’ and ‘Inspector’ not make it through your thick skull? If you don’t let us in you’ll be arrested.”

“On what charges?” He snorted.

“As many as I can fit on the paper. Now are you letting us in or not?”

The guard narrowed his eyes, but stepped aside. Owen and the Doctor walked past.

“You’re good.” The Doctor murmured approvingly. “I like this, it’s like playing ‘good cop, bad cop’.” Owen laughed quietly.

“Do you know where we’re going?”

“No idea.” He answered brightly.

“Just keep looking like we know what we’re doing and walk around until we find someone?”

“Yep.”