In The Shadow of Death

This wasn’t happening.

Sera wasn’t dead, she couldn’t be dead.

I cradled her cold body in my arms, holding her to me like that was enough to keep her with me. Snarls and growls of rage and disbelief left me but I didn’t notice. My entire being was focused on my wife. On how the suddenly falling snow was clinging to the long lashes of her closed eyes.

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. “It’s time to go.”

I bared my teeth at Zack. “I won’t leave her.”

I hated the pity I saw in his eyes. “She’s gone. You need to let her go.”

“Never.” I growled and gathered her into my arms. She was mine, death was not allowed to have her.

I couldn’t process that she was dead. She looked like she did when she was asleep. So beautiful it almost hurt to look at her. She was sweet, innocent, everything good, everything I wasn’t. I needed her like air.

I made my way slowly to where my wife, my love, my soul would forever live. There was a private crypt not too far from the house. It was hidden behind the face of the mountain. I reached out pushing on the spot that would open the door to it. Once inside I lit one of the torches, not because I needed it to see, but because she would have wanted it lit.

The pitch blackness of this place would have scared her and I couldn’t allow it to happen. I would keep at least one torch lit for the rest of my miserably long existence. My legs almost gave out as the idea of spending it without her caused a new howl of rage to leave my raw throat.

Gently I laid her down on the cold marble my eyes fooling my brain into believing she was just asleep. Any minute now she would wake and smile, the simple act filling my heart with the warmth of love I had never experienced before her and never would again.

I took her tiny now cold hand in my larger ones holding it up so I could press my lips to them. “Please come back to me dashuria ime. I need you.”

I held my breath waiting for a miracle, of course none came. I had done enough evil in my lifetime that I cancelled out anything good she had done that would warrant a miracle. My evil had tainted her as I always knew it would. I placed her hand back down and just stood there as unspeakable pain roared through me. I would die in this crypt, of that I was sure.

I stayed in the crypt for three days before my brother Matt forcibly removed me. Just like I had predicted I was the walking dead. I wouldn’t speak, nothing seemed to matter anymore. The moment I walked into my room I knew it was a mistake.

The sheets were still in the tangled mess we had left them in the morning of End of Days. I could still hear her laughter, the moans and whimpers I had coerced out of her. She had been so responsive to my touch, trusting me so completely with so much more than just her body, I had been humbled.

“Seraphina…” I whispered to no one as my legs gave out and I came crashing down to my knees. I threw my head back and roared in pain, anguish, disbelief, unspeakable sorrow. This is not how things were to end. She was supposed to stay hidden away from the battle, not in the middle of it.

I was supposed to come back to her anger, because angel or not she would have been pissed. I of course had planned to channel that passion into something that was more enjoyable for us both. I somehow got to my feet stumbling over to my night stand.

I pulled out a black velvet box just to torture myself. Inside it was Seraphina’s Christmas gift. I pulled the small diamond ring from it, feeling hallow and empty. She hadn’t said it aloud but she had wished to be married in the way of humans. It was a small gesture that didn’t hold the significance our bonding had. But it would have pleased her beyond words and so I willingly would do it.

I curled my fist around the ring smashing it into an unrecognizable piece of metal and broken stone. I roared again as rage filled me consuming everything.

Revenge.

The one simple word that would set me free.

I would make all of those who dared to stand on that field regret that decision. I would hunt them down, angel and demon alike until they knew what it meant to hurt.

A sinister laugh left my lips. If I couldn’t be happy, no one would.

Grabbing my trench coat I armed myself with every weapon I had. It wouldn’t take the angels long to realize they were being hunted, but it didn’t matter. Most angels were no match for me. The demons would be harder but I had confusion and distraction on my side. With both Lucifer and Lil dead the thrown was up for grabs and the fight for it was a bloody one.

With a mind full of rage and a heart of ice I made my way out of the house. I would never return to this place full of the shattered dreams of a life never to be again. I would be happy shedding the blood of those who took it away from me.

They were forcing me to live my worst nightmare,

And so I would become theirs.