In The Shadow of Death

Heaven.

There are no words known to man to describe it’s beauty. It truly is perfect in every meaning of the word. As it is I’m sitting in my own garden filled with the sweetest smelling flowers my nose has ever had the pleasure of inhaling. A waterfall behind me fills the air with its peaceful sound as I sit on the plush perfectly manicured ground. Blue skies filled with cotton ball clouds are stretched out as far as I can see.

Still something is missing.

I stand and stretch, ivory wings flapping behind me shimmering with a million different colors as the light hits them. Hesitantly I reach out and touch them, amazed with their almost velvety softness for about the millionth time. I’ve never felt anything so soft before in my life. I stretch them out to their full width, a good seven feet. The first time I had seen them they frightened me, but now they’re a part of me just like an arm or leg.

You guessed it; I’m officially an angel now. I’m still having trouble adjusting to that fact. It’s the reason I’m staying here. Father says I’m not ready to meet the other angels yet. I guess he’s right. My heart is still so very far away.

Getting up I walk to the very edge of the garden. Looking down I can see the Earth, the mountains and oceans but that’s it. But I know. He’s down there, somewhere, unreachable to me now. What I wouldn’t give just to see him one more time, to hear his laugh. But that’s never going to happen.

“Sister?”

I turned at the sound of my brother’s voice. He was much handsomer then any one ever gave him credit for. He did have wavy brown hair and brown eyes filled with love. Now he looked worried. “Yes brother?”

He sat down gracefully on a large rock that had appeared just for him to do so. “Why are you so sad when you are surrounded by such love and beauty?”

My wings curled around me almost like his arms once did. How many times had I pretended they were just that? I sat down beside Jesus but didn’t look at him. “I feel as though I’m missing my heart.”

His eyes filled with understanding. “You miss the demon.”

This is what I truly loved most about him. He didn’t judge anyone; love and forgiveness really were his thing. At least they got that right in the Bible. “His name is Brian and I love him.”

“Indeed you do.” He said looking me over no doubt taking into consideration how bad I looked for an angel. Sure I had wings, my long hair was back only more of a white blonde now then the blonde it had been, and I still glowed, just not as vibrate as I should.

“Can I see Zacky and Jimmy yet?” I asked hoping the answer would finally be yes. I wanted to know how Lil was, if Brian was okay.

My shoulders slumped as he gave me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” My wings wrapped tighter around me without so much as a thought, giving me away.

“Would you like to check on your loved ones?”

My head popped up immediately. “I can see them?”

“You can’t go to Earth but there is a pool of reflection that allows you to watch them from here. I could show it to you if you’d like.”

“Yes!” I practically screamed as I jumped up off the rock.

He chuckled getting off the rock and leading the way. It wasn’t lost on me that we kept away from people. But still some saw us. I was taken aback by the look of awe on their face but I kind of guess we were like the rock stars of heaven.

The room we walked into was all white and reminded me of some of the Roman cathedrals I had seen pictures of in my human days. Even the sitting furniture was soft suede, the tables made out of white marble. In the center of the room was a pool about the size of a bath tub, white satin pillows surrounding it.

“Sit.” He said gesturing to one of the pillows.

I did as instructed surprised by the softness of the pillow. As I looked down at the water I realized it was moving as if being fed by a stream I could not see. Slowly the water stilled and I could see images floating to its surface from depths unseen.

I started crying when I realized it was Lil and Jimmy holding each other. “How old is this?” I asked wiping away the tears of happiness. Lil was alive and with Jimmy, where she belonged.

“You’re watching the events as they happen now.” Was his reply from somewhere behind me.

I watched as they walked into a home in complete darkness. Even though I wasn’t there I could almost feel the evil that filled the place. I didn’t want them there, I wanted them somewhere safe. “Leave, leave now, please.” I whispered to the pool wishing she could hear me.

Lil faltered causing Jimmy to run into her. “Did you hear that?” She whispered.

“Her what Lily?”

“I could have sworn….” She shook her head. “I could have sworn I heard Sera.”

“Don’t say that name.” A disembodied voice growled from the darkest part of the room.

Jimmy raised his hand as a ball of lightening illuminated the room for the briefest second. But that’s all it took for my lungs to stop working. There in the corner, covered in blood, surrounded by mangled bodies was Brian.

“Jesus Brian, what’s happened to you?” Lil breathed as Jimmy moved so that he stood between her and Brian. I knew why. I had only glimpsed him for a second, but the madness in his eyes was unmistakable.

A bitter lunatic laugh left his lips. “Have you forgotten your sister already? The fact that she died saving you.” Venom dripped from his lips as he spoke the last part, his eyes narrowing on Lil.

My heart caught in my throat as he lunged for them. Jimmy immediately drew his sword and began battling Brian. “Stop! This isn’t what Sera would want!” Lil screamed at him as he knocked Jimmy to the ground and charged her.

I couldn’t breathe as I watched my sister fight my husband. She was trying hard just to defend herself, to not hurt him while he was doing his best to do the very opposite. “It’s your fault she’s gone.”

I turned from the pool looking back at my brother. “I have to do something! Someone’s gonna get hurt!”

“There’s nothing you can do. Things will play out as they must.” His eyes held an unthinkable sadness and regret that I couldn’t stand.

I jumped up getting into his face. “The fuck there isn’t! I refuse to believe that!”

“I’m sorry.”

I was desperate as I went back to the pool, Lil and Jimmy were fighting off Brian trying to do as little damage as possible but he just wouldn’t stop attacking. “I have to do something.” I whimpered. All of a sudden it hit me, Jimmy and Zacky, they was the answer.

I turned back to him. “Jimmy and Zacky are on Earth. If they can be there so can I.”

“It doesn’t work like that. They had sins to repay and are doing so as guardians.”

“Then make me a Guardian.”

A soft sigh left his lips. “It doesn’t work like that. You have no such sins to repay.”

“There has to be a way!” I yelled in frustration.

“Not for you to go there and return, I’m truly sorry.”

Tears rolled down my eyes I was so frustrated. And then it hit me. My head snapped up and his words sunk in. “So there is a way for me to get down there.”

He nodded. “Yes but there is a steep price to pay and you will not be able to return. It is not something you wish to do.”

I shook my head. Nothing was worth more to me then my sister and my husband alive. “I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes, pay whatever price there is.”

It was then a booming voice filled the air. It was my father’s voice, one that sounded like every man and yet none. “Think this through my child for once the decision is made it cannot be taken
back.”

I shook my head no. “I won’t change my mind. Just please hurry and do it.”

Jesus looked up into the clouds. “Father please, she doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

“She has made the decision and now she will pay the price. Be well my child.”

Agonizing pain filled me driving me to my knees. My vision went blank and my hearing dulled. I screamed and yet no sound came out. If felt like I was dying again only so much worse.

The first thing I heard was the sound of clashing metal and cursing. I opened my eyes to see a man and a woman with swords fighting a man who carried two of his own. Where the hell am I?
I hadn’t realized I had spoken aloud until the trio turned to stare at me. I immediately started to back away from the three.

“Sera!” The female yelled and raced towards me.

I ran behind a chair putting it between me and her. “Listen I don’t know what’s going on but I just want to leave, okay. You three can do what you want, I promise not to tell anyone anything okay? Please just let me leave.”

All three of them looked at me like I was crazy, heck maybe I was.

“Dashuria Ime.” The man who was the furtherest away said softly. He had long brown hair and pretty dark brown eyes. He was covered in tattoos and…blood. I swallowed hard. I needed to get out of here. I went to run only my body wouldn’t move.

“Please just don’t kill me. I promise I won’t tell anyone what I saw. Please.” I begged tears starting to run down my cheeks.

The young girl was in front of me her own eyes filling with unshed tears. “Sera, sweetheart, it’s me Lil.”

I tried pleading with her. “Please just let me go.”

The tall man who hadn’t spoken yet rested his hand on her shoulder. “She doesn’t remember us.”
“I don’t know you and I promise not to tell so see it’s safe to let me go.” I begged the tall man with black hair and piercing blue eyes.

The small woman turned into the tall man’s arms and started to cry. I should be running, and yet my body was frozen still. What happened to the fight or flight response? Shouldn’t I be doing one or the other?

“I can’t lose her again.” The brown eyed guy piped up as he walked up to me.

Fear had my heart thundering in my chest and words caught in my throat. I couldn’t talk, move, anything, as he reached up and ran the back of his hand down my cheek, an oddly gentle action.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered into my ear before he took a hold of my chin forcing my eyes up to meet his. I felt this buzzing in my head a second before he spoke again. “Sleep.”

I struggled against my suddenly heavy eyes. How could I be falling asleep now?! And yet I was. It only took a few short minutes for me to lose the battle and darkness to claim me. I was sure I had just signed my death warrant.