What Do Stars Do?

“Micha!”

I woke suddenly, hearing my boyfriend shout my name. I sat up and looked around the room, confused as to why Jamie wasn’t in bed next to me. Groggily, I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to find the source of the noise. “What’s wrong?” I asked, fighting back a yawn. It was 10 o’clock in the morning, a reasonable time to be awake, but I so desperately wanted to go back to bed.
“Your letter arrived,” he said, holding up a cream envelope. Instantly, I was wide awake. I took the letter from his hands and held it in front of me, reading the name and address. I swallowed thickly as I turned it over and opened the back. But then I found that I couldn’t go any further. “What?” Jamie asked with a frown.
“I can't look,” I whispered, raising my eyes from the envelope to my boyfriend. We’d been together for almost 2 years, had lived together for 6 months, and I knew that whatever was inside this envelope would be okay because he would support me.
“Sure you can,” he smiled. He got up and came to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. “I’m right here.” I took a deep breath and nodded before pulling the paper out of the envelope and unfolding it.

Dear Mr. Micha Becker,

Unfortunately, at the present time, your skills are not needed at the Victoria Theatre…

I stopped reading after that first sentence. “I didn’t even get an audition,” I whispered, dropping the letter onto the table. I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes closed.
“Hey,” Jamie said, turning me around to face him. I looked up at him even though all I wanted to do was go back to bed and curl into a ball and sleep for the rest of my life. “So it didn’t happen this time, don’t let that discourage you, Micha. You’re so talented, you’re a star and you’ll have your chance to shine.”
“You know,” I whispered, looking down at the floor. “I don’t even know what I feel. Part of me is crushed, obviously. But another part of me is relieved. I’m not confident enough to perform in front of people anyway. Maybe I should just do something else…”
“Micha, this is your dream,” he said. “You can’t just give up.”
“But I’m competing against people with years of experience. I can't even sing in front of people I know,” I said. The fact that I wanted to perform was sounding more and more stupid to me.
“You can sing in front of me,” Jamie argued and I shook my head.
“You don’t count,” I said softly. “You’re different, I know you won't…laugh.”
“There’s nothing for anyone to laugh at, baby,” Jamie whispered, cupping my cheek tenderly. “You’re amazing.” I sighed and shook my head.
“I’m going back to bed,” I mumbled, walking past him back to our bedroom.

I knew Jamie wanted me to try again and again, but there’s only so many times I can get rejected. And no one had even heard me sing. All it took was a copy of my CV, which showed that I had no previous experience, and I was out. I truly regretted not taking part in school plays or anything like that. But I just couldn’t. When I got on stage, I froze. I hoped that by now, seeing as I was almost 25, I would have got over that. But I hadn’t had the chance to show that I had. No one wanted an inexperienced person in their show. And I didn’t blame them.

++

Almost a week later, my phone rang while I was watching television. It wasn’t a number I recognised, so I answered hesitantly. “Hello?”
“Hello, is this Micha Becker?” the woman on the phone asked and I frowned.
“Yes,” I said.
“This is Linda Brown from the Victoria Theatre in London,” she said and I sat up straight, my whole attention focused on the conversation. “I am assuming you received our letter by now?”
“Yes,” I said softly. “It came last week.” If she was just phoning to explain the rejection, I wasn’t sure I could handle that. Being told in letter was one thing, being told by an actual person was a much bigger deal.
“Well, one of our finalists has backed out, and you were at the top of the list,” she said and my heart stopped for a second. “So, we would like you to come and audition for us.”
“Oh, my God,” I whispered. “Thank you so much! I really appreciate this. So much.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, a smile in her voice. “When would you be available to audition?”
“Whenever is convenient for you,” I told her. “I’m flexible.”
“Okay,” she said. “How about Friday at 2.30?”
“That sounds great,” I smiled, ready to jump out of my seat and leap around the room in happiness.
“Great,” she smiled. “You will need to prepare a song to sing unaccompanied. You know how to get to us?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome,” she said again. “I will meet you on Friday in the reception area. See you then.”
“Bye,” I smiled before ending the call. I stared at my phone for a moment before jumping up and grinning. I actually had an audition!

I immediately called Jamie at work. “Mr. Bryant’s office,” his receptionist, Mary, said. Jamie worked in London at a publishing agency. He worked with some relatively famous authors, but no one known worldwide. He wasn’t quite high enough in the company to work with them yet.
“Can I speak to Jamie?” I said. Normally, I said hi to her but I just couldn’t wait to speak to my boyfriend.
“Micha?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I smiled.
“Okay, I’ll put you through,” she said. I thanked her and then heard the phone ringing again as it connected through to Jamie’s office.
“Micha?” Jamie answered the phone and I grinned.
“Hey,” I smiled. “Guess what just happened?”
“What?” Jamie asked, a laugh in his voice.
“A lady from the theatre just phoned,” I told him excitedly. “And I’ve got an audition.”
“You do? That’s so great!” Jamie said enthusiastically.
“Yeah, she said one of the others they had dropped out, and I was next in line,” I told him.
“That’s amazing, baby,” he said. “You’ll blow them away at the audition.” I smiled but then nerves kicked to life inside me and a frown spread over my features. How was I supposed to know what I needed to do to blow the judges away? I’d never sung in front of people before, let alone auditioned for something. “Hey,” Jamie said, as though sensing that I was starting to have negative thoughts. “You’re amazing, Micha. Trust me.”
“Thanks,” I smiled. “I need to think about what to sing.”
“When’s the audition?” he asked.
“Friday,” I said, “at 2.30.”
“I’m gonna be there,” he said and I smiled.
“But don’t you have to work?” I asked.
“I’ll take an hour off,” he said and I imagined him saying it while rolling his eyes. “I’m not missing this.” I smiled softly.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you, too, Micha,” Jamie said softly. “I’ve got to get back to work. But I’ll bring dinner home, okay?”
“Okay,” I smiled. “See you later.”
“Bye, baby,” he said before hanging up.

I smiled softly to myself, still amazed – even after a year – that I had someone amazing as Jamie. But then my mind shifted to my upcoming audition and I started thinking of songs that I could do.

++

Four days later, I found myself standing on the pavement outside the Victoria Theatre. My palms were sweaty, my stomach was turning somersaults, and I’d bitten my lips so much I was surprised I had any lips left. I was terrified. I’d never been so nervous in my life. “Hey,” a voice said behind me. I turned and saw Jamie and a soft smile tugged at my lips.
“I’m not sure if I can do this,” I whispered.
“Yes you can, Micha,” he said, cupping my jaw in his palm. “I believe that you can do this. You have a gift, baby. And you need to share it.” I bit my lip once again, but Jamie tenderly pulled my lip from between my teeth. “So, are we going inside?” he asked, looking up at the theatre in front of us. I took a deep breath and then nodded.

We walked through the doors and were met by a middle aged woman with obviously dyed black hair. “Hi, I’m Linda,” she smiled.
“Hi,” I smiled, reaching to shake her offered hand. “I’m Micha Becker. And this is my boyfriend, Jamie.” Linda smiled and shook Jamie’s hand as well.
“Your audition will be taking place in the main staging area,” she said, leading us away from the lobby and through various doors. Bubbles of nerves flooded my system again. I would be on the stage. Singing for an audience. Jamie reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. I knew he would have said something encouraging if we’d been alone, but the squeeze said enough. I smiled softly at him and then turned back to Linda. We went through a couple of doors and headed towards the stage.
“Um, how many people am I singing for?” I asked Linda as we approached the stage.
“Three,” she said and I nodded. “Just go out there, state your name, and they’ll ask you to sing. Good luck.” Fear suddenly gripped me and I turned to Jamie in a panic.
“Hey,” Jamie said, cupping my face in his hands. “You can do this, Micha. You’re a star.” I smiled softly and took a deep breath as I nodded. He pecked my lips lightly and then I turned away and headed out onto the edge of the stage. I swallowed thickly and moved to the middle of the stage. I turned and looked out across the huge empty theatre and then my gaze settled on the three people sat halfway back.
“Name?” the one in the middle asked, making me jump slightly.
“M-Micha Becker,” I replied, hoping I didn’t sound as nervous as I felt. Though I probably did. The woman in the middle nodded and made a note on papers in front of her.
“When you’re ready, begin,” the woman said and I nodded. I took a deep breath and my lips parted but nothing came out. I was terrified. Beyond terrified. Who was I kidding? I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t meant to be on stage, I wasn’t meant to sing in front of people. Maybe I was just meant to be a waiter or a chashier or something. I wasn’t a star.

The three judges stared at me, waiting for me to sing. But I knew it just wasn’t going to happen. I could feel my breathing increasing and wondered if I was going to have a panic attack or pass out. And then, suddenly, all the lights went out. “What’s going on?” one of the judges said, but I tuned out to their confusion. I closed my eyes, parted my lips, and started to sing a song from West Side Story. At first, I was competing with the three judges as they panicked about the darkness, but then they stopped talking and it was only my voice filling the theatre.

I opened my eyes only to realise that the lights were now on, but I didn’t care anymore. They hadn’t stopped me or booed me. They liked me. I finished singing and looked over at the three judges. “Can you sing something else?” the woman in the middle asked and I smiled and nodded. I thought for a second before singing an Adele song. This time, there was not an ounce of nerves in me. Because they liked me.

When I finished, I looked over at the judges again, who were all making notes on their papers. “Why haven’t you got any experience, Micha?” the man on the right asked me.
“Well, I’ve never really had the confidence,” I said while biting my lip. “I’ve never sung in front of an audience before.” They all stared at me.
“That’s hard to believe, based on what we just saw,” the woman in the middle said. “It’s still early in auditions, but I have a good feeling about you.” She smiled at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.
“Thank you,” I smiled.
“We’ll call you in a few days time,” she said. “Thank you for coming in.”
“Thank you so much,” I said again before quickly leaving the stage and jumping into Jamie’s arms. “I did it!”
“You were so amazing, baby,” Jamie exclaimed, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “I knew you could do it.” I pulled back and smiled up at him, before pulling away and turning to Linda.
“You were really good,” she smiled. “I’m pretty sure you’ll get it, they haven’t liked anyone yet.” I just smiled. My heart was still racing, but now it was out of adrenaline and excitement. All I wanted was to go back on stage and feel that rush again.

Linda led us out of the theatre, after ensuring me that I would hear no later than a week next Friday about whether I passed the audition. Jamie and I said goodbye and then started walking down the street. I knew Jamie had to get back to work, so I figured I’d walk with him back to his office. “You turned off the lights, didn’t you?” I asked him after a few silent minutes.
“Are you mad? I just…I saw you were about to bolt and I figured that if the lights were off and you couldn’t see who you were singing to, then you’d be okay. And the switches were right there…” he said and I stopped and turned to him.
“Of course I’m not mad,” I smiled, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. “I love you so much. I’m so lucky to have someone like you.”
“You’re not the lucky one, Micha, I am,” he smiled, placing a tender kiss to my lips. “You’re a star, Micha, you’re going to shine. And I’m so proud of you.” I smiled up at him before pressing my lips back to his in a loving kiss.