Something in the Water

Seeing my face plastered to the six o'clock news for every human being to see was hard enough, but to show the same face in school without Ben at my side...

No way.

"What do you mean, he isn't going to school?" I ask, a rapid panic striking me.

"His parents say he has a very high fever and he can't get out of bed." Dad shrugs like it's no big deal. "Must be a late reaction to the dye."

It seems impossible. "No...Ben can't be sick. He's the one that's supposed to...to..." I can't finish my thought because I'm officially panicking. 

I talked to Ben last night, and he sounded perfectly fine. We were both nervous about school, but he didn't look or sound sick over the phone. There's no way he would ditch me unless it was serious. Right?

"I'm sure it's nothing serious, Emma." He tells me, reading my mind. "Just a reaction. He should be well soon.  You should start getting ready for school." Dad glances at the clock. I only have an hour.

"Dad!" I yell, shaking my head like a mad woman. "I can't go to school!"

He sighs, like he expected me to give him a hard time. "You need to go to school now, Emma. Yes, you will reach a point where it'll be better for you to stay home, but right now the best thing for you to do is get on with your normal life, okay?"

"I can't just forget this!" I say. "It's not like I can push it out of my mind and go back to work like you can."

"I'm not pushing out of my mind." He says firmly. "There's just nothing we can do about it right now. Not going will only make it worse when you do go back."

"Dad," My voice changes from panicked to terrified. "Everyone knows now. Don't you understand? I can't go to school. Not without Ben."

"You shouldn't be so dependant on him, Emma." He advises. "I know you care about him, but that doesn't mean you should use him as a crutch."

The anger resurfaces. "What the hell does that mean?"

Dad raises his eyebrows and says his words slowly. "Get dressed."

He abandons me in my room. I haven't breathed in a while, and the air comes out in a rush. He wants me to just grow up on the spot, and I can't do it. I won't do it, not without Ben.

There is no way I can get through the judgement of my peers without him.

I find a seat on the floor in front of my bed and hug my knees to my chest.

A nightmare-like thought spins through my head. What if Ben isn't sick? What if he's faking it because he's changed his mind? What if I'm all alone and I don't even know it yet?

I hear some knuckles tap my wall and flinch at the sound.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Sam quetions, leaning in my doorway in the place Ben should be.

"What are you doing here?" I ask in a very small voice.

"I asked you first." Sam grins. "Just call me Benjamin Fletcher." I stare at him until he explains himself. "Ben asked me to stand in as your bodyguard until he feels better, so hurry up and get ready, Sully." He claps his hands in an effort to move me along.

I stand myself up but shake my head. "Sam, I can't go to school."

"Why not? I saw you on the news last night. Still looked like hell, though. Don't you think you should have fixed yourself up a bit for the cameras?" 

I know he's just trying to make me smile, but it's kind of making me feel worse. "Sam, I'm glad you're here, but you aren't Ben. It's not going to change how I feel."

"Ben's overrated." He says, waving his hand at me. "The dimples thing just makes it worse."

"Sam!" I yell now, sort of annoyed that no one understands me. "I'm not going. You might not get why, but I'm not going."

He shuts his mouth for a few glorious seconds, but he grabs my forearms and holds me still. I sigh instead of trying to squirm out of it.

"Listen," He says softly. "I promised that I would protect you with my life. I'm not breaking that promise just because you're a stubborn little brat who isn't getting what she wants."

I look him dead in the eye. "I'm not going."

He drops my arms and throws his in the air. "So what, you're pregnant. It's not like it's your fault! It could have been anybody in the whole damn school, the way they get around. They have no right to look at you any differently."

"It could have been anybody, but it's me." I remind him. "And since it's not you, you have no right forcing me to go!"

"Fine, Emma. You just stay home and hide under your bed for the rest of your life. Let me know how that works out for you." He backs out of my room and stands in the hall. "Can't say I didn't try."

I don't say anything to stop him. He doesn't wait around for me.

It's when he's long gone that I realize how childish I'm being. My arms are crossed tightly over my chest, and a pout is present on my face. Sure, I'm stubborn, but in this situation I'm allowed to be.

Maybe I am overreacting. I know people will be curious, but what else did I expect from them? Either way, I just let my bodyguard walk out the door.

So now I'm going to be forced to jump in the shark tank alone.

. . . . . . . .

My whole body goes numb, except for the little ball of life under my shirt. It's a regular shirt, not an obnoxious sweater. The bump isn't really that big, but if you know it's there, you can see it. And every knows it's there.

I try to trick myself into being natural when I'm about to walk down the endless hall to my locker. Maybe no one will notice me right away.

I stop right before the corner and lean my shoulder against the wall, trying to take a breath or two. This would be so much easier with Ben holding my hand, and right now even Sam would suffice.

Since I have neither, I convince myself to be a big girl and just get it over with.

I take the steps out into the open, and my classmates don't seem to notice. It gives me confidence, and I start walking forward. Nothing changes.

I almost smile.

I walk passed twenty people, then forty, and it's like any other normal day. I want to start cheering, but I know that will bring the wrong kind of attention to myself.

I'm coming up on a girl in my grade when her locker spits up a fountain of random things after she opens it. She sighs as a stack of old photos spreads across the entire width of the hall.

I squat down to pick up a few at my feet. I meet her in the middle of the floor and hand my stack to her.

"Thank you." She says, her hazel eyes a strange compliment to her red hair. "Stupid history project."

"No problem." I smile, forgetting that I'm supposed to blend in with the wallpaper. She doesn't say anything else, and I'm grateful.

As I rise to my feet, I notice the soft hush that's taken over the chatter of students. Then I see all of their eyes, locked on me like I have an extra appendage.

My stomach drops and nausea threatens to attack me. I start quickly down the hall, haunted by whispers and hundreds of eyes watching me like hawks preying on a field mouse.

I reach the intersection that's always clogged by people and come to a halt. I feel eyes like daggers in my back. I can't escape them.

Just when I feel like I'm going to die, a hand manages to land on my shoulder. 

I'm dragged out of the mass of people before I realize I'm graced with the presence of Ben's best friend.

I can't control my relief and nearly leap into Sam's arms. 

He hugs me for a second and then peels me away. "Come this way." He says, nudging me back down the hall.

At least half of the eyes are absorbed by Sam, so now I'm able to walk without a horrified expression on my face. We turn another corner sharply, and there's less people here. They only glance at us.

I sigh with a weird whimper and cover my face with my hands.

Sam lifts one away. "You alright?"

I nod, unable to speak just yet.

"Well how the hell am I supposed to be your bodyguard if you lie about not coming to school?"

I stand on my toes and curl my arms around his neck again. "Thank you." I whisper in his ear.

I feel his chin on my shoulder and his arms tucked around my back. "Just doing my job."