Something in the Water

BEN:

I stop at Sam's to pick him and Sara up on the way to the hospital. If I can't get through to Emma alone, maybe the three of us can do it together.

"Emma's okay, right?" Sara asks immediately.

"She's fine." I grumble. "She just does things without thinking them through and it's going to get her into trouble."

"What'd she do now?" Sam seems less panicked than his sister.

"She's acting like she doesn't want the baby anymore, but I know she does. She went to ask for the names of some random couple that lost their baby a few weeks ago...I don't know. I thought she was bluffing when she mentioned it."

"All these damn rules are pissing me off." Sara comments. "She should just run away."

It tests me even further when she suggests that. If only Emma wanted to run away from it all. I've never mentioned the original plan to them, but maybe if I do, they can convince her to go along with it.

"I get why she wouldn't want to run." Sam says. "She's not a quitter, which make it weirder that she's quitting this way instead of giving it a shot."

I see the hospital ahead, and only hope that she hasn't done anything too crazy yet.

EMMA:

Dr. Stevens returns to the waiting room in search of me. I rise to my feet to catch her attention.

She approaches me with a kind smile. "I think you're looking for Hilary and Rick Parker?" She presents me with a photo of each person.

I nod my head, recognizing the pretty woman and her big-armed husband. "That's them."

She slips out a sheet of paper. "Great. I have their phone number and contact information, but I think it would be best for your father to make an aquaintance before you..." She trails off when there's a commotion around the corner.

I drop my face in my hand, hiding in shame. The trio comes rolling around the corner like they own the place.

"Good, you're here, too." Ben tells the doctor. He marches over to us with Sam and Sara flanking him on each side.

"Is there a problem?" Dr. Stevens observes the four misfit teens in front of her without much of a surprise.

Ben does his weird humorless laugh. "You can't tell me you think giving her baby away is a good idea?"

Dr. Stevens casually draws her eyes between us all, ending with me. "I actually admire the idea."

"Emma!" Sara bursts in. "How am I supposed to be an aunt if you give your baby away?"

"You'll be an aunt, Sara." I promise her. "Just not right now."

"You're giving up that easy?" Sam decides to follow Sara's lead.

I shut my eyes, a physical exhaustion overcoming me. "I'm so tired of fighting. I can't change anything, so I have to make the best of it. I should have realized it a while ago." I fold the paper with Hilary and Rick's information and slip it into my pocket. "Besides, I'm not ready to be a parent."

"I'm confident that the Evaluation Center will agree in letting Emma choose who will care for her baby." Dr. Stevens adds.

"She might have blown that chance the last visit." Ben mutters to me.

"I know what I'm doing." I tell him.

Dr. Stevens looks uncomforable, along with Sam and Sara. "I have to meet with another patient, but let me know if you need anything else." She taps Ben's shoulder as she walks on. She's smart to leave before the war.

Ben looks longingly after her, like she was his only hope in changing my mind. Sam's eyes manage a peek at my stomach, the bump large enough to bug me now.

"So, that's what you want?" Sara points to the paper in my pocket.

I shrug because I don't want to say something that makes Ben even more upset than he is.

"You don't know?" He challenges me. "You should know what you want before you -"

"Relax." Sam gently pushes Ben away from me. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to argue with a pregnant woman?"

I sort of smile, but wipe it clean when Ben sees it.

Ben is rough when he jerks away from Sam. "You, be quiet."

"Don't yell at him. He didn't do anything wrong." I don't find it necessary to put down Sam when he's really angry with me.

"How can he do anything wrong? He doesn't know what any of this is, let alone what's best for you." Ben's glare is too severe on his best friend. 

Sam stays as solid as a rock, but I can tell his feelings are hurt. "And you do?" I ask Ben. "I don't know what your problem is lately."

"Ask him, then. Ask him what he thinks about it." 

All of our eyes trail over to Sam. His hands are shoved casually in his pockets. The spotlight doesn't phase him a bit. "I think Emma is the only person that knows what's best for Emma." He says simply.

I see Ben drop his head, frowning at his shoes. Sam might not know much about this, but he obviously sees the difference between right and wrong. 

"I think we should go." Sara says, tugging on Sam's sleeve.

Her brother doesn't budge. "I think we should wait until Grumpy Pants cools down a bit." Sam jokes, referring to Ben. 

"No," Ben mumbles, keeping his head low. "I'm leaving."

I feel like I should say something to make him stay, but nothing comes out. He slips away from our small group and he's gone just as fast.

Sara steps up and wraps her arms around me, dipping her head to my shoulder. Sam watches from where he's been standing.

"I'm sorry about him." I say. "He didn't mean what he said."

Sam blows it off. "I've seen him freak out before, but he never gets that way unless it's about you." He turns over his shoulder to see if Ben's actually gone. "That kid would take a bullet for you."

"I know, but I wish he wasn't so overprotective. I know how to take care of myself." I've numbed myself so our fights don't hurt as bad as they used to.

"Em," Sara backs away from me and appears to have realized something. "Did you ask Ben if it was okay to give your baby away?"

"No." I answer. "But only because he would have come up with some over the top excuse for why I shouldn't."

Sam sees it, too. "Maybe he doesn't want to give it away."

I refuse to believe it. "Why? There's no way we can keep it. He's been treating the baby like a problem, not something he wants to keep."

They're both quiet for a few seconds, before Sara answers me. "You probably should ask him first."

I feel more guilty with each passing second. Sam nods when I peek at him, backing up his sister.

"Fine." I agree. "I'll ask him."

I go back home to shower, just as I do each time I leave that hospital. It was hard to tell that the wetness on my cheeks was from tears, but I was also used to crying. I know it doesn't change things, but it makes me feel better for that short time.

I throw on my purple bathrobe before I leave. It almost doesn't close with my giant stomach, but it still works for now.

My heart jumpstarts at the unexpected body in my room. I gasp and hold in a few curses.

"Sorry." Ben doesn't move from beside my window.

I'm almost certain the baby flinched in surprise as well. "It's fine." I find my heart slowing down. "Did you need something?"

He raises the foam cup in his hand. He wiggles it around, teasing me with its contents. "Strawberry." He says.

My heart becomes mushy at his kind gesture. It hasn't felt that way in a while. "For me?"

He holds it out in my direction. "You know I hate strawberry."

I bunch my wet hair and toss it over my shoulder before I walk up to him. I take the cup and thank him for it.

He doesn't say anything, so I sip the milkshake through the straw. I haven't had a strawberry milkshake in what seems like forever, and the taste of it makes me smile.

"Thank you." I say again.

He smirks. "You're welcome."

His eyes seem permamently glued to the carpet. I hold his cheek in my hand and brush my thumb under his eye. I look to see if he reacts, to see if my old Ben decides to show up, but I don't see much.

"Do you want to keep the baby?" I ask him in a whisper.

He barely shakes his head. "We can't." His voice is sad. I didn't know he would react this way. I didn't know he loved the baby as much as I did. 

"I think it was best all along." I admit. "We aren't cut out for raising a baby, not now. I still have alot of things I want to do in my life before that. I want to go to school, I want to graduate, to get married. I want to be a kid, Ben."

"Will we get him back when you're ready?" He's really asking if I'll want him back, or if the baby will want to leave the people he's grown to love as parents.

I decide to tell him what my father told me before I went to the hospital. "My dad convinced the Evaluator to let us choose the adoptive parents. He also found out if I get the baby back in three years, they'll still require the surgery now. If we get him back, I can't get pregnant again."

Ben's frown increases in size, as does mine at the thought of it.

I continue. "But, if I give up the baby forever and allow the parents to officially adopt him as their own," I let the suspense get him a bit. "No surgery. I can start over after I get married."

"They win either way." He grumbles.

"So do we." I try to stay optimistic.

His sigh is shaky. "It just doesn't feel right."

I can't believe I'm going to say it. "When the Evaluators kept telling us the law is made for a reason, I think they were right. Kids our age are not meant to make decisions like this."

He turns his head, hinting that he doesn't want me to touch him anymore. I drop my hand, dragging my fingers down his cheek. Still, no sign of old Ben. I don't know if old Ben will ever come back.

. . . . . . . .

Dad stands at the door with me, waiting to see if I try knocking myself. I look up at him, and he does the honor.

We hear a dog barking inside the home. The man's voice attempts to move the dog away from the door before he answers it.

Watermelon Arms looks confused. I forced Dad to wear casual clothes so we didn't scare them out of their skins. "Hi." He greets us cautiously. He holds the dog back with his leg. "Bugsy, stay! Can I help you?"

Dad answers. "Yes, Mr. Parker. I'm an Evaluator down at the Center, and my daughter Emma would like to speak with you and your wife."

He checks over his shoulder, into the house. "Hilary's lying in bed, but you can come in. Let me just get the dog." He leaves the door partially open and drags the mutt by the collar into another room. 

Rick returns and opens the door wider, inviting us in. He's doing a good job of pretending not to notice my baby bump. 

Dad blinks at Rick's huge arms, probably wondering the same thing I did when I tried to picture them cradling a newborn.

We all sit down, facing eachother in a personal way. Rick doesn't seem threatened by the Evaluator title my dad made known. "What can I do for you?"

I wring my fingers nervously. "You probably don't remember me, but I saw you in the hospital a few weeks ago. You both smiled at me, and I remember it because it was the first time anyone smiled at me in a long time."

He slightly shakes his head. "Sorry, I don't remember."

I don't know how to bring it up. "I was there the day you lost your baby."

His face starts to lose its color, and his bottom lip twitches. "Oh."

"I'm so sorry." I hate myself for making him feel that way. "I didn't mean to upset you, but I'd like you to consider something."

Rick doesn't look like he wants to hear it. "What is it?"

I hold my stomach between my palms. "The Evaluation Center won't allow me to raise my baby, because I'm...well, it's kind of illegal." I laugh a bit at that last part. "I need to find someone that qualifies to adopt my baby."

I watch his eyes slowly light up as he stares at me in disbelief. He switches his gaze to my dad. "Really?"

Dad nods firmly, letting me do most of the talking. "That's right."

"And y-you want us to do it?" He asks me. It surprises him, because adoption isn't much of an option anymore. The only reason people get pregnant now is because they want to...except for me.

I nod with a cheeky grin. "I do."

He runs both hands through his short hair, airy chuckles escaping. "Oh, wow. I - are you sure?"

"No." The sudden voice breaks through our conversation. I spot the distressed woman standing at the entrance to the room. The black circles beneath her sleepy eyes and her bony cheeks and shoulders shock me.

Rick jumps to his feet. "Babe, they want us to adopt their baby." He's excited, but I can tell he fears her response.

"I don't want her baby." She says solemnly. The kindness I remembered in her face has disappeared. Her young and gentle features now resemble the crazy redhead I ran into at the Evaluation Center.

Rick glances at us, then steps closer to his wife. He speaks quietly to her, but she continues to shake her head.

I look over at Dad, his eyebrows creasing his forehead. I didn't think of another option if they refused, so I need to convince them.

"Hilary?" I try to grab her attention. "You don't have to decide now, but if you choose not to take him for me, he'll go to a random couple. I don't want that, I want you to have him."

She clenches her jaw uneasily. "He's a boy?" She asks me.

"Oh, I don't know. I've just been calling him a boy." I say sheepishly.

Rick scratches his neck. "We were expecting a boy, before..." He bites his tongue. "A boy would be perfect."

Hilary appears less harsh as she stares at her husband's shoes. I don't know what else to say.

"We won't take any more of your time." Dad stands up, offering his hand to help me stand as well. "You can think it over and contact the Evaluation Center by next week."

We walk to excuse ourselves, but Rick catches my elbow. "Thank you, Emma." He says sincerely.

He has a reassuring and hopeful look in his eyes that tells me I'm doing the right thing, and it's the first time I feel good about a decision. "You're welcome."