Something in the Water

I hover in the doorway of my mother's study. She takes a half hour to herself after she comes home from her job as one of the secretaries in the Evaluation Center - yes, both of my parents hold two of the highest jobs in society. I know better than to interrupt her, but if I wait until six Dad will be home, and I don't want to discuss this with him.

Her back is facing me, and I can already tell she's typing out approval letters by the holographic screen floating on the desk in front of her. I nudge my foot past the doorframe, but stay put. 

How does the daughter of an Evaluator and his secretary tell her parents that she's illegally pregnant?

My heart stops briefly when Mom suddenly turns around to smile at me. "Hi, baby." She greets me.

I lose my confidence when she uses her pet name for me. I am a baby, and I'm having a baby. It may have been normal for teenagers to have kids at one point, but now it's just unheard of.

Mom turns her head halfway towards me. "Do you need something? I want to get this done before your father comes home."

I almost decide to leave. "Um, I just have a question."

She doesn't really respond, so I continue. "Has anyone ever had a baby without detox?" She would know this kind of information, having worked for the Evaluation Center for almost 20 years.

She doesn't answer right away, distracted by her work. "Not since we've been issuing licenses. It isn't possible to be fertile without detox."

"I know that..." I start, biting my tongue to stop myself. 

"Does that answer your question?" She asks me.

I want more than anything to say yes. "Has the water ever...not worked on someone?"

This question persuades her to spin around in her chair again. "Not that I know of. I suppose it could happen, though."

My stomach starts swirling. "You do?"

She nods. "It could be possible to build up an immunity to it. But that hasn't happened in fifty years."

Could I be immune to the water?

"And even if one was immune, his or her partner would have to be immune as well to concieve a child." She adds absently.

This stuns me. It's one thing for the water not to work on me, but for not to work on Ben, either? That makes it seem even more impossible.

"Oh." It's all I manage to say.

If she turned long enough to look at me, she might notice why I was suddenly so curious. I scurry away before she gets the chance.

. . . . . . . .

I'm on the brink of tears, but I can't let Ben know that.

"I don't understand why you're so hung up on this. I don't know what's going on, but you aren't pregnant, Emma." The vein in his forehead is starting to surface. "It's almost like you want to be."

"I don't want this!" I tell him. "It's reality, Ben. Nothing is perfect. Sometimes crazy things happen, I don't know! I don't have an explanation, which is why I need to tell my parents before -"

"You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"They'll think your insane! Honestly, I'm starting to think you are." It was one of the things that ticked me off about Ben. When we argued, he'd always turn it back on me. "What will your parents do, anyway? What if you get arrested or something?"

I laugh without humor. "I'm not going to-"

"You're the one who said to be realistic." He points out. 

I have an urge to slap him across the face and make him listen to me, but I painfully resist. "You don't know how I feel."

"I think you just made that very clear." He says smartly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No!" I shout right in his face. Half the lunch room stops dead in their tracks to look at me, but I don't care. "You don't. You don't know what it's like to lay in bed at night and wonder if there's a human being growing inside you! I feel it, Ben. You couldn't know what that's like."

Ben's clearly anxious about all the eavesdroppers around us. "Alright, alright." He places his hand over mine, but I yank it away. "Emma,"

I sigh heavily and sit back in my seat. "Something happened with us. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but it did. We can't just ignore it, and we can't figure it out all alone. We need help."

Ben drops his face in his hands and wipes them across it. "Your dad..." 

"I know." I say, knowing that my father will look at it as either a fun mystery or an abomination. We couldn't guess which one until we told him.

I stand up from my seat and move to sit on the same side of the table as Ben. I sit beside him, taking his wrist and guiding it under the table. I spread his fingers over my stomach again, reminding him of what life feels like.

I don't miss the very tiny smile that tugs at his lips.

"If there's a baby in there, it's just as much yours as it is mine." I say.

His smile grows and he raises his eyes to connect with mine. "I'll come over a little after six?"

I smile too, and nod my head. My heart begins to race in anticipation. "Okay."

My face is cupped lightly in his warm hands, and he kisses my lips with the love I know he has for me.

I present the question to Ben that I asked myself before. "So how does the daughter of an Evaluator and his secretary tell her parents that she's illegally pregnant?"

Ben chuckles, detaining my lips with his finger. "She lets her boyfriend do the talking."