Something in the Water

All I can think about is how uncomfortable this hospital outfit is - a baggy pair of loose-fitting pants and a shirt that ties in the back. If I stand, I'm sure my pants will fall down, and if I move, my shirt will come undone.

My feet dangle over the side of the bed. I start to trace the decorative patterns on the tiles of the floor with my eyes.

"I'm sorry." Ben says almost inaudibly.

I look at him through the corner of my eye. He's sitting on the bed next to me, but not very close. "For what?"

He isn't sure why he's apologizing. "I could have said something different - maybe your dad wouldn't have...If I said something different, maybe you wouldn't be here. I don't know."

I take his hand and rub his skin with my thumb. "It's not your fault."

He won't accept that, and I don't try to convince him any further. He'll blame himself no matter what I say. I'll still feel sick to my stomach either way.

I lift my head and watch my parents through the glass window. Mom's pacing the length of the hallway, and Dad is staring into space. Both of them are still wearing their Evaluation uniforms -a white shirt and navy blue skirt and pants. Dad rolled up his sleeves in a casual way, but even then it's difficult to be casual with a man in that uniform.

A man in scrubs straightens up as he passes, noticing the uniforms that practically dictate his future.

My parents know just as well as we do how being pregnant will completely turn our lives upside down. We've challenged the law, by accident of course, but still challenged it. No one was really sure what that would mean.

"I'm sorry." Ben repeats.

"Stop that." I tell him.

"Emma -"

"Don't say it again."

This is the last thing any of us want to do on a Friday night. My parents look exhausted and confused. I'm sure they'd rather do anything else than admit their daughter into the hospital for the weekend.

I thought Ben did a good job telling them about me - I did have to encourage him to keep going a few times, but he did his best. It isn't his fault my parents jumped to conclusions and wanted "a logical answer" to my problem. I don't know what makes my case an emergency. I guess you do whatever it takes to get answers when you're an Evaluator.

I spot a woman in a white coat punching in the code to enter our room. My mom stops pacing to watch, and Dad rises to his feet. The woman says something to reassure them, but they stay standing, and watch me through the window.

The automatic door slides open, and the woman enters. She gives us a pearly white smile that contrasts with her dark skin. Her hair is tied neatly in a bun at the nape of her neck.

"Hi, Emma." She offers her hand to me. "I'm Dr. Stevens." I read her full name, Audree M. Stevens, stitched on her coat above a pocket.

I place my hand in hers. "Nice to meet you." I say mechanically. It stuns me how young she looks - she can't be a day over twenty. I bet she isn't even married yet.

"You as well. And you're Ben?" She guesses, directing her enthusiastic smile towards him.

He swallows hard. "Yes, ma'am."

"Are you feeling alright? Not in any pain?" She sets down her electronic clipboard and pulls up her sleeves a little.

"No." I say quietly. "I feel fine." My eyes are having difficulty pulling away from my parents. They're nearly glued to the glass, trying to defeat the soundproof material.

The doctor notices, and she steps away to give my parents a nod before she presses a button on the wall. Two sheets, like extensions of the wall, close slowly over the windows.

I sigh in relief, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders that I didn't even know was there.

"Now," She pulls up a chair next to the wall and sits in front of us. "Tell me what's up."

Ben and I look at eachother. He straightens his lips into a line.

It kind of jumps out of me. "I think I'm pregnant."

She doesn't laugh, or roll her eyes. She just nods slowly to herself. "And you don't have a license?"

My heart is slamming against my ribcage. I shake my head.

"It's okay." Her smile returns. "You aren't in any trouble."

"We're not?" My voice cracks, it's so dry.

"Not unless you've been illegally detoxed or used a phony license to get it. But your blood tests verify that isn't true."

I can't decide whether I like her joking attitude or not. "Oh."

"So how will we find out if she is...pregnant?" Ben chokes on the word.

She gets up from the chair and takes her clipboard. Her smile turns into a tease. "Follow me."

We stare at her as she opens the door again, standing in the doorway. Ben helps me down and squeezes my hand.

We follow her out into the hallway. "Where are my parents?" I ask as we walk. The seats they were in are empty.

"They're probably in the waiting room." She informs me.

Ben holds my hand the entire time as we walk through the hospital. We pass an old woman being pushed in a wheelchair. Her face is blank, but I smile at her kindly.

It starts to occur to me that this is real. I'm in a real hospital, being tested for real reasons. I'm about to find out if I'm really pregnant.

"Ow,"

I look over to Ben, who is wincing at our conjoined hands. His fingertips are white, just like my knuckles.

I release my death grip. "Sorry."

He flexes his fingers to restart the blood flow. "You're stronger than you look."

The walk to wherever we are going starts to seem really long, when we turn the corner and I am forced to slow my pace. I read a sign that says 'Maternity Ward'. Ben keeps walking ahead before he realizes I've stopped completely.

"Come on, Em." He says.

I walk up to the glass and my eyes bounce wildly around the room behind it. There are ten little bins that hold ten little babies wrapped in blue and pink blankets. A nurse inside is tending to one of them when she notices me staring. She smiles shyly at me, and I can't look away. Ben freezes as well, realizing that we could be having one of our own. A real baby.

"This way." Dr. Stevens calls from a room a little further down the wing.

Ben snaps out of it first, grabbing my hand. "Come on." He says again.

I close my eyes and turn away, starting to feel lightheaded.

The room is dim, with only one light in the far corner. There's another bed similar to the one in my room, but a large machine is next to it. Dr. Stevens turns it on, and the big screen lights up as it starts.

"You can lie down here." She tells me, patting the bed.

Ben lets go of me, and I crawl into the spot. I lay my head back, my breathing uneven and sharp. I look down to see Ben standing behind the doctor. He smiles to encourage me.

"Just relax. This doesn't hurt at all." She takes the rim of my shirt and rolls it up to reveal my belly. She picks up a bottle with a nozzle on the end. "This is a little cold." She warns me. I still flinch at the gel when it comes in contact with my skin.

She places some sort of hand-held device onto my skin and presses down slightly.

"Breathe." She reminds me. I let out a bubble of air.

She rolls it around my stomach for a few seconds before she holds it in place. I watch her face, illuminated by the screen, and she grins again. "Aha." She says, turning to see Ben. He does a double take when he looks at the screen.

"What?" I say, starting to panic. "What is it?"

"It looks like you were right, Emma." Dr. Stevens tells me.

I shoot up into a sitting position to try and see the screen. "No way!"

"You won't be able to see if you're sitting up." She explains, turning the screen to face me. She gently forces my shoulder back down, and I try not to resist.

She has to readjust the thing in her hand. The screen is blurred, with blurred black and white images. She holds still, and I can barely believe what I see.

It's a black and white image, but a three-dimensional one at that. I gawk at the tiny little fingers that formed, and the tiny little toes. The head is a bit oddly shaped, but the figure is the general outline of a baby - the baby inside me.

"Oh, my God." I whisper, afraid if I blink the picture will go away.

"It looks like you're expecting a healthy baby in about six months." Dr. Stevens pats my arm.

I manage to tear my eyes away to check on Ben. I can tell, even in the low lighting, that his face lost all color. His eyes meet mine.

I point to my stomach. "There's a baby in there." I say with a giggle. "A real baby!"

Ben starts to laugh a little, too. "I know."

Dr. Stevens presses a button to print out a few of the pictures on the screen. She cleans up the gooey gel on my stomach and rolls my shirt back down over it.

"I'll go pick up those pictures in the next room and be right back." The doctor leaves, and when the automatic doors close over, the room is dead silent.

I sit up again, my heart swelling with a strange feeling. I'm happy, and I'm also terrified. I'm excited, but also scared to death.

Ben runs his hands through his hair, and it sticks up in funny places because of the sweat built on his forehead. We stare at eachother, and I wonder if he's feeling the same thing.

"A baby." I murmur to myself. "Ben, we're having a baby."

His expression exhibits the happy-terrified feeling. He's slow to react, but he encases me in a hug and starts to laugh again.

I find myself laughing too, but tears still stream down my face. It all just became so real, and it's hard to take in right away. We're having a baby, and our lives are going to change forever.