I Like The Way It Sounds

‘”Paaaaaarty!” I giggle while I sloppily plop down next to Garrett not even 20 minutes into the party. With a look of mild alarm, he extracted the red cup from my hand while slinging an arm around my shoulders, “whatcha you got there?” Bracing himself or whatever inhibiting contraction I could be downing, he took a ginger sip and eyed me suspiciously upon swallowing. “Ginger ale?” His surprise amused me way more than it probably should have and I was sent into an all-too-familiar set of uncontrollable giggles.
This time, however it wasn’t too out of place- all of my favorite people were here and there were no ex-boyfriend’s anywhere to be seen. Garrett didn’t give up on his mocking glare, though, “you’re getting drunk off of ginger ale… in 20 minutes… I’ve never known you to be that much of a light-weight, Caite!” He drops his stony façade and shoots me one of his classics smirks, “I’m not drunk and I’m not pretending to be drunk!” I stand up to emphasize my point “I’m trying have a good time!” I’d been joking around, but the chorus of “here here’s” from the gaggle of (actually drunk) party-goers behind me seemed to make my point abundantly clear.
At that point we both started to laugh and I sat back down, snuggling to his side, his arms enveloping me once again. Everything felt perfect, that is until Jared came over and pulled him away. “Excuse me!” I protested, “Where do you think you’re going with my pillow?” I heard Garrett’s scoff next to me, feigning hurt “I’m just a pillow to you?” “Yeah, I’ve been using you for the past 13 years because you’re just so comfy!” I smirk as Jared pulls Garrett to his feet muttering that the band has to go and play as per Halvo’s request. “Dude you have to go, John's really drunk- it's going to be awesome!” I see Garrett cringe at the idea of standing within puking distance of a drunk JohnO. “Hey Jare, at least let me hug my favorite pillow goodbye before my stupid brother contaminates him forever?” Jare sends me a sly wink as he gently shoves Garrett toward me.
Opening his arms wide I stepped into his warm embrace and whispered a “good luck” in his ear just as Gina came up behind us. “You know, I may not hug my pillows but I certainly do hug my boyfriend.” Giving Garrett one last squeeze, I pulled away and managed to respond before my cheeks were engulfed in the fiery flames embarrassment; “tomato, tomato”, I uttered the cliché of varied pronunciations a bit too loud and instantly regretted it. That is until I noticed the smile that had quickly spread across Garrett’s features as he allowed himself to be lead away by Jared.
As soon as the boys were out of earshot, Gina let out a tiny squeal of excitement, “Caite, that was so awesome! You were so smooth- Ahh! And that smile!” She was gushing, but Tiffany joined us a few minutes later to refocus us and establish our plan.
The three of us made our way into Eric’s living room where the band was planning on doing a set. This horribly makeshift stage is where John had first song for all of his friends in the first place and it was the most frequented the “venues” that the boys played. They had done some touring but it would be really taking off soon when their album drops. I didn’t want to think about them all leaving yet, not so soon after I finally come home.
Putting on my best smile, I found a spot in between Gina and Tiffany on the couch closest where the guys were setting up. Already good to go, Kennedy put his guitar down and made his way over to us. He sent Gina a wink and gestured across the room to a yellow haired boy I’d never seen before. Seconds later, he was standing in front of me with an eager smile, “Hey, I’m Brian,” he offered looking directly at me. “Ladies, your remember my first band, right? Well, Jess and the Gomez’s got themselves a new singer!” Kennedy gestured to the guy as he said this and then introduced each of us, making a point of mentioning that I’d come to this party with a “friend” who really was just “a friend”. Before I could shoot him an evil glare or any equivalent he was on his way back to his guitar, Gina in tow. With the newly vacated spot on the couch, Brian found it acceptable to sit next to me in the cramped space. To my dismay, he took up a considerably larger amount of space than the petite girl that had just followed her boyfriend away and we were now sitting shoulder to shoulder. I smiled weakly and turned away from him as much as possible before awkwardly putting a hand out to him. Doing the same, we shook and he sent me a sly grin. Confused, I pulled my hand away as quickly as good manners would allow and tried to focus my attention on the boys in front of me, my boys. “So, you’re single, right?” “I guess so,” was my unenthusiastic response. “You don’t have to stay here with me all night, you know.” I really had hoped that would make him go away, that combined with the look of disdain I was now wearing.
“Oh, but I do m’dear.” “Excuse me?” (I was growing concerned.) “Kenny set this whole thing up, with some help from his lady friends, of course.” with this he leaned forward to wink at Tiffany who was sitting on my other side, giggling to herself and finding my discomfort extremely amusing. “Oh.” I was blushing now and smiled nervously. “So, who’s our guy?” Scrutinizing the band in front of us, I watched his eyes scan over Kenny and John before landing on Garrett. “That’s him, isn’t it?” I nodded nervously, still unsure of what this set up entailed. “Yeah, him that’s… that’s Garrett.” I gulped after I managed to stutter the words out and rubbed my sweaty palms together- Damn! Is it hot in here? Just as Brian leaned in to try and call me down, I caught Garrett staring in our direction.
I made eye contact just-in-time to see his face cloud with some emotion I could not readily recognize, but I didn't like it. I wanted to scrap the plan and get away from Brian as fast as I could. I wanted to go and hug my best friend, hug the boy that I just realized how much I really cared about. But no. Almost as soon as I came to this realization, I heard the guitars tune themselves in unison. John grabbed the mic and sloppily introduced them as The Maine, the band that would be releasing their first album within the coming weeks titled “Can't Stop Won't Stop”. They would be touring just a week after the album dropped and would be out for the majority of the summer. They were all very excited and they couldn't wait. With this news, it was Garrett’s turn to see my face cloud over. I knew they would be touring, but I didn't know when and no one felt the need to inform me beforehand. We were both hurt at this point and there was nothing we could do until the set was complete.
Feeling me stiffen next to him, Brian reached out to see if I was okay. I shoved his hand away and pushed myself up off the couch, storming out of the living room angrily. I heard some commotion behind me, but I ignored it and went to sit on the back step of Halvo’s backyard until The Maine was done playing. I was so angry with them for not telling me, but I was also angry at myself for not realizing how obvious it was that they would be touring – it was inevitable. I couldn’t be the one to hold them back just because I was finally back in Arizona. How dumb I must’ve been to think that they’d stay home this summer for my sake. Angry tears pricked at my eyes and I moved to go and sit on the grass and pull little blades out of the ground to diminish my frustration.
Almost 45 minutes later someone came out and sat next to me. I didn’t need to look up to know it was Garrett and I leaned into him. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “Why are you sorry?” he questioned. “Kennedy explained to me what was going on with that guy back there.” I could hear a smile in his voice, “What exactly did he explain?” “Well, he said that you were trying to get my attention,” “Okay, well why do you think I want your attention?” “Probably for the same reason I would want yours…” he laughed and turned my head to face his. I stared at him in disbelief as I felt our faces coming closer together. My mouth formed a tiny “o” both in anticipation of our kiss and in reaction to what we’d both realized.
Our lips were pulled together by what felt like some magnetic force. We kissed, and eyes closed, I saw fireworks. I’m sure that somewhere in the distance a choir of angels were singing, that’s how perfect it was, but still, there was a reason that I’d stormed out of the living room. I pushed him away. “We can’t do this.”
The goofy grin that had graced his face a mili-second before disappeared – “Why not? I think I’ve been in love with you since I was six years old and you obviously have a thing for me. And there’s no way you can make me believe that you didn’t just feel something in that kiss! I don’t care how weird I sound, but it was a sign or something, Caitlin! Give me one good reason why we can’t actually do this, because I’ll give you one hundred why we should.” Despite my hurt, I reached for his hand, and squeezed it. I felt his fingers play with the bracelet around my wrist – the one he’d given me as a “corsage” at prom. He whispered, “Isn’t this perfect? Why don’t you want it?” I looked into his eyes, “I do want it, but I want it too much. And you’re going to leave me and then I’ll have no one.”
We were both young and confused and overwhelmed with what our futures would bring, and not just some distant future. We didn’t know what to expect of tomorrow or next week or god forbid, next month when my best friends were all cramped together in a van on tour. But somehow the look he was giving me was enough to ensure me that we’d be alright, and I allowed him to continue playing with my bracelet as our lips drew closer once again. His breath hot on my lips, he whispered, “I’ll never leave you, Caitlin. That’s a promise.” I believed him, because I couldn’t bring myself not to, because he was Garrett and I was Caite and he was my rock, because he was my best friend in the entire world, and because he just might be my soul-mate – and because I wanted to kiss him.