Captured

When people ask, "When was the first time you disappointed your father, and what happened?" teenagers would usually say, "When I failed my physics class," or, "When I did not get in the football team," or sometimes, "When I scratched his brand new car." But for someone like me, the normal response is, "Oh you know, it was on an untimely event called the day I was born."

It's every father's dream to have a son who he can someday play basketball with, or be obsessed about ultimate fighting with, or read Playboy magazines with. My father was infatuated to the idea of having a baby boy. He even called the organism in his wife's womb Austin. But on the sixteenth of March 1994, when I was finally pushed out of my mother's vagina, it was a great devastation to him that I was a girl, not a human that would normally have a penis and testicles.

But surprise surprise, me being a girl wasn't the first saddening and heart-breaking situation I have caused to him. My mom has this stupid ailment in her heart, and the doctors told her that if she insisted on giving birth to me, she'd die. My father loved her greatly, and he was obviously torn between two difficult choices. But that moment in the delivery room, the decision did not belong to him. My mother let me live, and since then, my existence has been an abomination.

But it's not like I even exist at all. I think that the only reason why my father kept me alive, or did not send me into one of those foster homes or something is because he needs someone who will inherit his business. And maybe because I kind of look like my mother too.

My father, Cyrus Joseph Schneider, a prominent entrepreneur, and owner of distinguished hotels all over the world, has been inadvertently trying to convert me into a little version of himself. But look at me. Do you think I'm someone who wants to become an efficacious businesswoman someday? I don't think so. I am the antithesis of my father. So one day, when I said, "Dad, I don't want to go to college yet. I want to travel or something," he became very infuriated and I swear, I could see smoke coming out of his nose and ears. It annoys him that I don't want to have a 'bright' future.

He can't stand being in the same room with me. He can't even look me in the eyes. I think that sometimes, when he sees me, he's mentally crushing every single organ in my body. But you know what, it doesn't bother me at all. I truly enjoy the pleasure of consistently letting him down. Every time I create a mess, he's around to clean it up. I know he's doing that to maintain a good reputation to his business clients. When he's mad about something wrong that I did, I can't help but feel a little good inside, because he knows that I'm there.