Nothing to Lose

Josh looked down at his iPhone and then back up at the house he had been standing in front of for a good ten minutes before he looked back at his phone to check the address once again to make sure he had it correct. Yes, it was in fact the right flat, but he already knew that from the last twelve times he had checked. He probably looked like a proper twat standing in front of the posh place in just a wrinkled white t shirt with a worn out flannel over top with the sleeves cut off. Even his jeans weren’t clean, and his hair was a proper mess. He ran a hand through his unruly hair and sighed. He knew he should have thought this through before he came over. At least he showered this time though, so he wouldn’t reek. He put his phone back in his pocket and took a deep breath as he made his way to the front door, suddenly wishing he had shaved that day.

He stood there a moment with his hand positioned high to knock and froze. What if Caleb answered the door? But no cars were home. What if Eloise wasn’t even there? She walked everywhere though so she couldn't be too far away. Had Margot even given him the right address? This was all just too much for him. He didn’t want things to be like this at all. Finally, he brought his hand to the door to make a soft knock, lifting his hand back up and coming down a second time to make it slightly louder.

He could hear shuffling from the other side of the door and the clinks of metal gears turning the locks before the door opened and he saw Eloise standing there with a confused look on her face.

“Joshua.” She said after a brief moment of stunned silence from the both of them, “What are you doing here?”

“I… uh, I don’t exactly know.” Josh chuckled as he rubbed the stubble covering his cheek, “I just felt like we left off on the wrong foot and I wanted to make it up to you. Can I take you to lunch? If that’s alright with your boyfriend of course.” Josh quickly added.

Eloise looked back in the house before looking back at him. She smiled faintly and then closed the door in his face. He was about to protest before he slumped his shoulders and began to walk away.

“Joshua!” He heard from behind him as he reached the end of the road, “Joshua where are you going?”

He turned around to see Eloise running to catch up as she pulled her arm through the sleeve of a cardigan. “You shut the door in my face!”

“I had to get shoes, my purse, and a sweater you twat!” She laughed as she reached him, “I hadn’t expected you to just walk off with how stubborn you can be.”

Josh grinned and ruffled his hair, “So… lunch?”

“That was the plan, or so I thought.” Eloise smiled. Eloise actually looked happy to him. It was odd. He was so used to finding her tired and upset, sometimes a mixture of the two. Whether it was because of her father, Caleb, or even himself, she never seemed 100 percent happy. But this was a genuine smile on her face. It was the kind of smile that made him as well as others walking down the streets smile in return at the beautiful girl. Maybe Caleb wasn’t so bad after all.

“Nando’s?” Josh asked as he pointed to the restaurant a little ways down the road. He looked down at the girl who was practically jumping with excitement.

“I absolutely love Nando’s Josh!” She exclaimed, “Caleb hates it.”

“How can someone hate Nando’s?” Josh laughed as he opened the door for the girl, following quickly behind her.

“I know!” El groaned, “It’s terrible. All he wants to do is eat at fancy restaurants all the time while I just want to eat simply and cheap.”

“I’m with you.” Josh laughed awkwardly, “You go find us a table, I’ll go get us some food.” Eloise nodded and found her usual table by the window. It was the perfect people watching table she always sat at on Sundays as she watched people in the square eat their food and shop in all the boutiques. She especially loved spotting tourists, granted they were few and far between, it was still funny to watch them try to get around in what they considered a foreign place. Eloise chewed on her bottom lip as she thought about being a tourist in America. She’d always loved how diverse the country was, no state was the same and she wanted to explore them all one day if she got the chance.

“Here you go.” Josh said as he put down a plate full of chicken and rice in front of her that was identical to his own.

“Thanks.” She muttered as she picked up her fork and took a bite. It was delicious as always. She looked up to see Josh looking at her hand with a frown on his face. She looked down and noticed she was still wearing her engagement ring.

“When were you going to tell me? When were you going to tell Margot?” Josh asked as he stared at Eloise awaiting an answer. He felt his face flush as he watched her shift uncomfortably under his gaze, "She's your best friend."

“I don’t know.” She whispered as she toyed with the silver band around her finger, “We haven’t talked since I moved in with Caleb.”

“She misses you, Eloise.” Josh said quietly wishing she would look up at him. When she finally did, tears were brimming her eyes, “We all miss you.”

“I miss her too.” Eloise said, her voice wavering. She ignored his last words and continued, “Caleb… he’s good for me. You all might not understand it, but he is.”

“He makes you miserable, Lou.” Josh said as he reached out for her hand. She looked up and her almost smiled at the sound of the nickname Josh had given her and didn’t pull her hand away when his touched hers.

“I am miserable.” Eloise admitted to not only Josh, but finally to herself as well while the tears began to stream down her face, “But my misery is all I’ve got left.”

"No it's not, Lou. Believe me, it's not."