I adore the despair in you eyes

Chapter four.

Ville's P.O.V
I had my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeats.
His fingers gently stroked my hair and I closed my eyes.
I almost fell asleep when I felt his fingers touch my spine. I sat up. "What are you doing?"
Bam looked at me with tears in his eyes, "You're so skinny."
"I've always been," I mumbled, I didn't really want to go through this one again.
"Not like this," Bam continued, "now I can count every bone in your body. That's not healthy."
I rolled my eyes. "You can not count every bone in my body."
Bam bit his lip and began to pull up my shirt. I froze and stopped his hands.
"It's okay. I just want to see if I can," Bam said. I slowly nodded and he pulled my shirt over my head.
I laid down to not show any unnecessary fat that you get when you sit up.

Bam sat on top of me and stroked my stomach, ribs, nipples my heartagram tattoo, and oh mighty God, I totally just got a hard on. I looked at Bam and he met my gaze and smiled, "You're beautiful."
I sobbed and grabbed his neck, pulled him down and our lips touched. Our tongues battled and I broke the kiss to pull Bam's t-shirt over his head. When his warm body hit my cold one I shivered, and oh mighty God, he kissed my neck and I was so close to explode.

Soon our pants were off and our erections were touching.
All sudden, in all the magic, Bam stopped. "We shouldn't do this..."
I felt tears in my eyes. "Why?"
"I'm married...Me and Missy are expecting a child, Ville," Bam said and stroked my cheek.
The tears escaped from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. "I love you so much," I sobbed, "I love you so much it fucking hurts."
"Ville..." Bam whispered and kissed away my tears, kissed my neck, gently nibbled on my ears, oh God, I wanted him so badly.

"Make love to me...please...just one last time," I whispered.
Bam nodded and pulled down my boxers, "I can't fucking stand it. You're so gorgeous."
He sucked on his fingers and I put my legs around him.

He kissed me and I felt his fingers tickle my hole before one slipped in. I broke the kiss and threw my head backwards and moaned. Another finger slipped in and I almost came.
"Can't...stand...want you..now..." I panted and Bam pulled down his boxers. I took out a tube of lube that I had in my drawer and let Bam lubricate himself.

I saw in his eyes that he still thought of Missy, and before he could shove himself inside of me, I stopped him. "If we're going to do this, you better think of me and not of her."
Bam nodded, "Of course I'll think of you."
We kissed. Another lovely, magic kiss, and I felt him fill me up.
It burned and I closed my eyes and bit his lip, hard.

"You want me to stop?" Bam asked and looked into my eyes.
I shook my head. "No...just been a very long time since..this..oh shit!"
He'd found my spot. He kissed my neck and my nails scratched his back.
"Harder, Bam...please," I begged. Bam laid my legs on his shoulders and speed up his movements so much that the bed banged against the wall.

I could swear to God that the guys could hear us, but at that moment, I couldn't care less.
I touched myself, screamed, wanted more, and I was dangerous close to my climax.

Bam replaced my hand with his and that pushed me over the edge.
Hot sperm landed on my stomach and on the bed, and I could feel Bam come inside of me and he stopped moving.
He kissed me one last time and pulled out of me.
We cuddled and I wanted to stay like this forever.

****************************************************************************

Bam's P.O.V
This is bad. This is really, really bad. I'm a bad, bad, bad man.
I rolled over to watch Ville sleep and couldn't help but smile.
He looks so helpless and beautiful, but we both knew this couldn't go on.
I got up from the bed, slowly to not wake Ville up, and put my clothes on.

I went down to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead.
"Good sex?"
I seriously flew up when I heard Mige's voice.
"Didn't mean to scare you," Mige laughed.
"Well, you did," I said and sat down in front of him. "What are you doing up?"
"I could say the same thing about you," he snorted.
I sighed. "Ville's asleep. I was bored."
"I see..but you still haven't answered my question...good sex?" Mige grinned.
I blushed. "You heard us?"

"I would be surprised if someone in Finland didn't hear you," he answered. "What about Missy?"
"I don't know!" I sighed, and banged my head into the kitchen table. "We're expecting a child, and here I am doing..."
"Woah! A child?!" Mige shouted.
"Quiet! Yeah, a child. Ville knows that, though." I mumbled.
"Woah..this must be hard for you."

With that, Mige left.
I laid my head on the table and sighed. I didn't know what to do.