Status: New Brusnop Fanfic. Comments are much appreciated. c:

This Is Your Demise

Eleven

Ben was the first one up in the morning, which surprised him. He usually was the last one awake, and being the only one up on a big empty bus was eerie. He walked around the bus for a little bit while he munched on his cereal, thinking once again about last night, and how it was all over.

He had been very surprised when Danny had climbed up into his bunk though. That was the last thing he expected Danny to do, but he was happy that he had done it. Having Danny hold him like that was something Ben had dreamed about for a long time, and Danny’s arms around him felt just as good as he thought they would.

Ben didn’t want to get his hopes up, but when Danny couldn’t answer why he had come into his bunk Ben had gotten very excited. He knew he shouldn’t hope for things like Danny actually having feelings for Ben, because the pain of him not being right and having to let go of that hope would be terrifying. He didn’t know if he would be able to even look at Danny anymore, or hear his voice. He didn’t even know if he could do that now.

Ben heard rustling from a bunk and hoped it wasn’t Danny; he didn’t have the courage to speak to him just yet. But when he turned the direction of the bunks it was James he saw, not Danny. Ben was somewhat relieved, but then his cheeks grew red with embarrassment and he looked down.

It was weird, having his feelings out in the open, but there was nothing he could do about it now. And of course now James knew that Ben had lied to him, which was just what he needed.

“So,” James said awkwardly, his voice deeper than usual since he was still groggy with sleep.

“So,” Ben repeated, washing out his bowl in the sink. He didn’t normally wash up anything, but it gave him an excuse not to look at James.

“You uh. You feeling okay Ben?” James rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and sat down on the arm of the couch, looking over at Ben.

Ben reluctantly turned to face James and bit his lip, nodding his head a bit. “Yeah, I’m good. You?”

James opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Cameron and Danny walking out into the living room area. Ben immediately looked down and busied himself with drying his hands.

“Morning lads,” Cameron said as he walked past James on the couch, ruffling his bed hair as he did so. James gave him an agitated look and fixed his hair, mumbling about ‘don’t know where his hand’s been’. Cam slung his arm around Ben’s shoulder once he reached him and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek, which made Ben laugh and nudge his hip.

Ben looked up at Danny just in time to see his reaction. He couldn’t tell if it was jealousy or annoyance on his face, or maybe a combination of both. Either way, he was surprised to see that from Danny.

Ben slipped from Cameron’s grip, whispering something about going to the bathroom and quickly slipped past Danny and rushed into the small room that was the bathroom. He could feel the eyes on his back as he had left the room, but he tried to shake it off. Ben would have to get used to it from now on.

He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, trying to hold back the urge to cry. He hated this situation that he had put himself into, and what’s worse is he and Danny had an interview together today, so he had to act like everything was going fine. He didn’t know if that was going to be possible today, and if he should just pretend to be sick to get out of it.

“Ben?”

There was a knock at the door and Ben almost jumped out of his skin. He rubbed at his eyes before opening the door and looked into the worried eyes of Sam, who Ben didn’t know to be awake.

“Can I come in? I think you could use someone to talk to you right now.” Sam looked back at Ben and chewed a little on his lip.

Nodding his head, Ben opened the door wider and let Sam come in, unsure about what he meant when he said ‘someone to talk to you’. Did he mean about the bands future? Were they kicking him out? Was the band going to break up?

Sam sat on the toilet while Ben leaned against the door again, and said nothing. If Sam wanted to talk, then he could talk.

There were a few moments of awkward silence before Sam opened his mouth. “I know you probably feel pretty alone right now, and maybe even scared, but I just want you to know that you shouldn’t be. James, Cam and I all are your friends, and we’re not going to judge you in any way. It might be a bit awkward for a few days, but after that we’ll be used to it and over it and it’ll be like nothing even happened.”

Ben closed his eyes and slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor, his hands covering his face. He was overcome with such a giant moment of relief and a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The band wasn’t splitting up. Ben wasn’t being asked to leave the most important thing in his life.

He felt a pair of arms wrap around him and he leaned into Sam, keeping his face hidden to save him from more embarrassment. His happy moment was punctured though, by the thought of something else equally terrible. “What about Danny?” Ben whispered.

Ben felt Sam tense up a little, but then he relaxed. “I’m not sure about what he’s doing Ben.”

“Is he leaving the band?” If Danny left Asking Alexandria, there wouldn’t even be an Asking Alexandria anymore. Not properly, anyway.

“No, Ben, Danny’s not leaving. He wouldn’t do that.” Sam squeezed him gently and pulled back some, and Ben uncovered his face and smiled thankfully at Sam.

“Thank you, mate. What you said means a lot to me.” Ben and Sam both stood up and Sam reached over to give Ben another hug.

“You’re welcome man. But don’t get so choked up on Danny, okay? Love and relationships are hard, and sometimes things just don’t work out. But you’ve got to keep going. You’ve got to keep living your life.” Sam patted Ben on the shoulder and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Ben to ponder his final words.

Ben stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes longer, thinking over everything that Sam had said. He finally decided that he was going to be regular happy Ben again, because Sam was right. Not everything always works out, but you’ve got to move on. If his love for Danny was brought up, he would talk about it as long as it needed talking about. If Danny wanted to hang out together like before, then he would, and he wouldn’t make it awkward. And if Danny wanted him, then Ben would happily claim him as his own and never let him go for anything in the world.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is a little short, but I'll make up for it tomorrow. I hope you guys got a chance to read the little update that wasn't an update about why I've been gone, but like I said in it I'm back now and will be posting regularly. c: ALSO- there is a sex scene coming up (I'm not telling between who) and I need to know if you guys would rather I do a detailed description of it, or just make it obvious that it happened. I'm fine with either, but I'll leave it up to you to decide. Thank you to everyone who commented and subscribed, it really means a lot. c: