This Is Your Demise

Danny opened his eyes and groaned when the only thing he saw was a bright light shining directly at his face. He turned over and rolled his eyes when he heard the familiar sound that was Ben’s giggle, swatting his arm out in Ben’s general direction. “Go away. M’tryna sleep,”he mumbled into one of his pillows.

Ben laughed and smacked Danny’s leg playfully. “Danny, it’s almost one in the afternoon. Get the fuck up.”

“Fuck off,” Danny muttered, starting to drift off again.

The next thing Danny knew, he was being tugged from his bed and out onto the floor by multiple pairs of hands. When he hit the floor of the bus, there was a loud ring of laughter and he looked up to see the faces of all his band mates.

“You guys are a bunch of sodding pricks,” Danny slowly got up and grimaced as the few bruises he had earned at last night’s show started to ache. He pushed past the boys and into the bathroom, needing to relieve himself. After he had taken care of that, he stood in front of the mirror, staring at his pale and unshaven face wondering what was wrong with him. Myca never told him why she had decided to break up, and it hurt like hell wondering if it was something he could have done to prevent it from even happening. Danny just shook his head and sighed, walking out of the bathroom and out into what they called the living room, although it was much of a living room at all.

Danny saw Ben looking at him out of the corner of his eye as he sat next to Sam on the couch, but paid no attention to it; it happened a lot and he just assumed he was worried.

Danny looked over and James and asked, “Where are we playing tonight, again?”

“Um, some little theater in Seattle.” James threw Danny the schedule of dates and cities they were playing at and Danny groaned.

“Fucks sake, Seattle again? Fucking no one is going to show up since we were such shit last time.” Danny scanned through the list and tossed it back to James, who barely caught it.

“Actually lots of people are going; we sold out the place.” Ben’s voice drifted from across the room and Danny flicked a beer cap at him that was sitting on the table in front of the couch.

“Oi, you lazy bastards, we’re here. Time to set up.” Cameron’s voice came from the head of the bus, ahead of himself, who had to duck a bit since he was so tall.

For the next few hours Danny busied himself with autograph signings, meeting the fans who were waiting in line and doing sound check. He didn’t really pay much attention to it all. He never did anymore. Honestly, Danny was just trying to hurry through this tour so he could go home and be alone. But he knew he wouldn’t really ever be alone, not when the guys would come around to hang out like they always do. Danny was never alone, and before he was grateful for that. Now it was just a curse.

As Danny was leaving a group of hyped up teenage girls, he saw Ben was once again looking at him with that weird look on his face that he always had while looking at Danny. It was like a mix of love and worry and Danny didn’t like it. I mean sure, he was upset and confused and a bit dazed still from the break up, but other than that he was perfectly fine. He didn’t need to be watched like he was about to break out into tears all the time.

Danny just huffed and turned away from Ben, walking over to where Sam and Cameron stood; signing whatever was being thrown at them.

Danny ignored all the shouts of “Danny!” and “I love you!” that sprung up as people noticed him and peeked over at Ben again. “Do you guys know what’s up with Ben? He won’t let me out of his sight and it’s getting really fucking irritating.”

Sam just shrugged his shoulders. “He’s worried about you man. We all are. I’m sure once you get back into your old groove he’ll back off." Sam smiled and handed a girl back her poster that he had just signed, and walked back towards the bus, Danny following.

“But I’m fine. Seriously, I’m fine,” Danny added, after Sam gave him a doubtful look.

“Danny, no you’re not.” Sam stopped in front of the bus door and faced Danny, concern etched all over his face. “You drink yourself into this stupor every night and one of us always has to drag you back here and make sure your safe. You’re getting back into the drugs—something you swore you’d stop doing not only to us but to all of our fans as well. Think of their disappointment when it gets out that you’re using again. Think of what could happen to the band, Danny. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh mate, but you need to get the fuck over it. You need to go out tonight and move on from her because she isn’t going to come back.” Sam sighed softly as the force of his words his Danny hard and he had to bite onto his lip to stop the sadness that was welling up inside him to show up on his face.

Danny pushed away Sam’s arm as he went to comfort him and shook his head, using the smile he perfected the first couple days after the break up that hid how he was really feeling. “No man it’s cool, I understand what you’re saying. I’ll try to work on that for you.” Danny pushed past Sam before he had a chance to reply and walked as fast as he could without looking rushed, looking for a place to be alone.