I Lied When I Said I Didn't Love You

Tre’s P.O.V

After Billie had run off to find Mike I tried to watch some TV. I channel surfed for a while before giving up and switching off the TV. Even if there was anything good on, I couldn’t concentrate. Something just didn’t feel right today. It was like I was just waiting for something to happen, something to shock me out of this anticipation. Or more likely I was hyper from eating so much shit with sugar in it.

I circled around the couch for a couple of minutes before flopping upside down on the pillows. God I was bored. I was so bored I couldn’t be bothered to do anything to stop me from being bored.

Whatever the fuck that meant.

So for about half an hour I sat like that, ignoring the strange sensation of blood rushing to my head. In fact, it was kind of trippy. And looking upside down at the world was cool. I started giggling. Maybe this was what they meant by looking from a different perspective.

They say that ignorance is bliss. I’m very ignorant; I guess that’s why I’m happy. But sometimes ignorance is painful. I found that out when the phone started to ring.

It was one of those old phones, you know? Those ones with a really loud ring? As soon I heard it I fell off the couch in surprise, hitting my head on the TV.

“SHIT!” I yelled, massaging my head. That hurt! Luckily the TV wasn’t cracked. It was just my head.

The phone kept on ringing.

“Oh shut up!” I said crossly, climbing to my feet and nearly falling over as the blood fell down to my toes. “Whooooooooa.”

The phone ringing was really starting to get on my nerves.

“All right, I’m coming,” I growled, picking up the phone. As soon as I put it to my ear, I could hear this weird sound. It sounded kinda like a dog whining my name.

“Hello? Tre Cool here, and if I’ve already fucked you please stop calling me,” I chirped my traditional greeting into the phone. Funny how you can make jokes just before a time of crisis.

I heard the person at the end of the line sniff.

“Tre, it’s Mike,” Mike said thickly.

“Oh! Hey Mike! Dude, what’s up? You sound like you have a broken nose,” I jabbered.

“Tre, I need you to come and pick me up. Something’s happened.”
He sounded really serious. It scared me. Something was terribly wrong.

“Mike, are you crying? What happened?” I asked.

“Tre…. Billie… he…”

“What? Billie what?”

I heard a loud sob before Mike continued.

“He- he got hit by a car. The ambulance just took him away- and they wouldn’t let me come along.”

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I swayed for a moment, before sliding down the wall and putting my head between my legs (not meaning to sound gross or anything- it’s something you do to stop dizziness).

“Oh no. Please tell me you’re kidding. Cause if you are, this isn’t funny,” I heard myself say, like I was really far away. Billie had been hit by a car? It was too surreal. You never think things like this are going to happen to you, and when it does you just don’t believe it.

“I’m not kidding. Just come and pick me up. I’m at that phone box downtown, okay?”

“Okay.”

He hung up. I pressed the phone back into the cradle before staring into empty space in front of me. Billie was like my brother; he wasn’t supposed to get into stuff like this. I was supposed to be the accident-prone one. For a terrible minute, I felt like I should’ve been the one that got hit instead.

I finally got up, grabbing my keys and heading out the door. I didn’t bother to lock it, which I guess was pretty stupid.

My mind was preoccupied with Billie.

I drove downtown, keeping my eye out for Mike. My car was in the shop, so I had to take Billie’s. It was a little creepy. All his stuff was just sitting there, his lucky guitar pick, his rolling papers, his Misfits cap and more unidentifiable stuff. I tried not to look at them. If I looked at them, I found myself wondering what would happen if Billie died.

I hoped Mike had been able to ring Ollie. I wouldn’t be able to talk to Ollie about it, to tell you the truth we weren’t that close. Mike on the other hand was like another son to her. He would be better off telling her then me. I had left a message on Adie’s answering machine before leaving. Hell, she deserved to know. She was a friend of Billie’s after all.

I spotted where the accident had been as I turned the corner. A car was stopped in the middle of the road, the driver’s door open. At least the guy had the heart to stop. Most people just hit and run with this type of stuff.

Mike was sitting on the curb, his eyes vacant as he stared at the car. Someone had put a blanket around his shoulders and a mug of tea in his hands, to ward of the shock I guess. Mike loosely held the cup. He didn’t look like he knew it even existed. I parked the car, rushing over to his side.

“Mike, are you okay?” I asked, putting an arm around his shoulder. Mike didn’t react. He slowly blinked up at me before answering.

“It was my fault he got hit. He was trying to save me from getting run over,” he said dully. I took the tea out of his hands, putting it down on the curb.

“Nonsense,” I said firmly. “It’s nobody’s fault, Mike. You don’t have to beat yourself up about it.”

Mike gave me the ghost of a smile, his eyes tired.

“Don’t I?”

I didn’t like the way he was talking. It was like someone had taken all his emotions and replaced them with this robotic state. He wasn’t crying- but the tracks from previous tears still lined his cheeks.

“We’re going to the hospital, okay?” I said, pulling him to his feet. He leant on my shoulder as we walked past the abandoned car. It was strange, I had to be the strong one this time. I was the one carrying Mike- not the other way around. It felt like I had to be the support this time. In fact, it was just like the time when Billie and Mike broke up.

But hopefully Mike wouldn’t do anything stupid. He seriously frightened me when he got that addiction to painkillers and booze, and the cutting. The cutting was worse. It was even worse then the fact he was starving himself. When he attempted suicide, it nearly threw me over the edge. That was the thing about Mike. For some reason he made you care about him too much. Or maybe that was just me, I don’t know.

As we were walking back, I saw something that made my stomach turn over. There was a puddle of blood in the middle of road, drops scattered around the drag marks made from tires. Mike saw it too. It was enough. He just slumped on my shoulder, weeping quietly.

He felt helpless. I did too.

But I couldn’t show it. Mike needed me to be strong for him. He just couldn’t face this without me. Despite thinking all this, I found tears were dripping down my nose as I helped Mike into the car.
I got in the driver’s side. I didn’t start the car straight away. I had just seen something that would upset Mike even more. Attached to the wheel was the necklace Billie had given Mike when they first started dating, that Mike had thrown back at him when they broke up.

I tried to hide it, but Mike had already seen. He nodded, biting his lip as the tears streamed down his cheeks.

“He kept it after all,” he said quietly.

Without speaking he leaned against my shoulder, his tears soaking my shirt. I put my arm around him, resting my head on his.

“He’ll be okay, Mike, I know he will,” I whispered, my breath making the soft strands of blonde hair move on the back of Mike’s neck. He pressed his eyes into my shoulder, his body completely loose.

“I hope so,” he whispered. “I hope to God so.”

I didn’t reply, and we were silent after that. I cradled Mike as he sobbed, my own eyes blurry. You read in books how when this happens, the sorrow is so bad you can’t cry. You just go emotionally dead. That never has applied to me. Right now it was so awful, like Billie had already died. Not that he was going to die- oh please Tre, stop thinking like that, I thought with all the fury I could muster. He’s going to be fine.

I knew why it hit Mike so hard. He had lost a best friend in a car crash before, years ago. I didn’t know if he had seen that too, this was before we knew each other. All I knew was that Mike couldn’t bear to hear anything about people getting killed by cars. He actually turned off the TV if anything came up like that. He just didn’t want to know.

Mike slowly got up, strapping himself in. He gave me a watery smile, his eyes red from crying.

“We’d better get to the hospital.”

“Yeah.”

I started the car up, unwinding the necklace from the wheel and pressing it into Mike’s hand. He took it, staring at it in the dusty light. The necklace itself was a simple metal guitar pick on a chain. It was what was engraved on it that was important.

“To Mike, I’ll always be standing by your side, Love, Billie,” Mike read in a whisper.

I pulled away from the curb, heading towards the hospital.
I hoped Billie would be okay.

For Mike’s sake.