I'll Be There

The ominous sky that had grayed the backyard pool day finally released its tears. It wasn’t the only one crying. I stared out the window, deafened by the pouring rain, watching streetlights flash by. We had been driving for about 3 hours. It was no cakewalk to get to Reno, but at least she was in the same state. As soon as my friend had said that I lost my composure. I screamed for Dj and Kari had to call my friend back. Tommy offered to stay with Kari at the house while Dj took me to Reno. He hadn’t said a word the entire drive, but he probably figured if I wanted to talk then I would. The honest truth was, I didn’t know what to say. My whole life was a lie. I lived in hell and did drugs and cut myself for most of my life with no purpose. I had abusive parents with no purpose. I bounced my way through high school instead of getting a decent education, just to be rebellious, with no purpose. My entire life up to now was betrayed. And I didn’t know what to think. My first emotion was hatred. How dare she do this to me. But somewhere, deep in my heart, I was sobbing with joy. My mother might be a genuinely nice person. Given she was about to die from an overdose of God-knows-what. That could explain my addiction too though. I wasn’t a lost cause. After all, she cared enough to want me before her death right? The skies and my eyes continued to bleed.
It seemed like years, but I finally saw city lights on the horizon. It was about 2 in the morning. The engine purred as it sped along empty streets, and we soon arrived at the hospital. Dj parked and we just sat there. I finally looked over at him, my legs stiff and my eyes red. I nodded slowly and stepped out, my hair automatically flattened in the downpour. I pulled his hoodie over my head and met him in front of the car, taking his hand, realizing mine was shaking. He looked at me, worry in his eyes. I took a breath and began to walk towards the light, like a small beacon of hope in the eerie wet darkness. When we got to the door however, I stopped. I looked up at the black skies, the cold rain, the streetlamps, finally over to Dj. I shook my head at him. “Why me?” I whispered. My voice cracked and I could barely hear myself. “What?” he asked softly. I swallowed, forcing back more tears, making my throat burn. “Why me? You could have anyone, literally anyone! And you had to pick the teen with abandonment issues.” He suddenly hugged me, embracing me tighter than he ever had. I slowly put my arms around him, resting my wet face on his chest. “Don’t ever ask me that again.” He said. We let go of each other, and he followed me inside.
The half-asleep lady at the reception desk looked me over, rubbing her eye before asking my name and why I was there. She looked at Dj suspiciously. “Christine Mason” I said, reciting the name Kari had given me when she called my friend. The look on the woman’s face got even more suspicious as she told me the room number. Dj took my hand and we headed to her room, I noticed Dj turn around and flip off the woman discreetly. We got in the elevator and headed up, I started hyperventilating. He hugged me close to him until the doors opened and he led me in the right direction. Her door was closed, and I looked up at Dj with big eyes. He kissed me softly. “I know you can do this.” He said to me. I squeezed his hand before letting it go and opening the door.
The room was completely dark except for the various flashing machine lights and the stars shining through the window. Upon hearing the door open the woman in the bed looked over at me. Her eyes were a soft blue. Well now I know I didn’t have my mother’s eyes. I slowly walked over beside her bed, we never took our eyes off each other. My face was shaped the same as hers, but we hardly had the same features. My mind was racing, I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully she spoke first, and it was so unexpected that it still left me speechless, “You look just like your father.” My eyes watered. “Who is my father?” I asked. She shook her head. “You shouldn’t worry about that now.” She coughed, sounding horrible. I winced. “What happened to you mom?” I asked, saying mom like it was a foreign word. “Heart problems” she said, looking sadly at me, “And I guess I shot up one too many.” I felt a tear spill over and I scratched my arm habitually. She studied me carefully. “I’m sorry” she suddenly said. I said nothing. She continued to stare at me, as though seeing light after being blind. “I can see it in your eyes, I can see what you’ve been through because I have those same eyes. I didn’t know what I was giving up when I did it to you, I was only worried about myself, and I’m so, so sorry.” “Why?!” I whimpered, burying my face in my arm. Dj appeared from a shadow and held me.
“What on Earth is Dj Ashba doing here?” my mother asked. I glanced up at her in shock. “You know who Dj is?” I asked. She smiled at me. “I get around. You think I listen to that mainstream bullshit? Hah!” I actually laughed. Dj went up to her and held his hand out. “Pleasure Ms. Mason, I’m Raven’s boyfriend.” Her eyes sparkled as she took his hand. “My daughter is dating a rock star…who would’ve thought!” She coughed again. I winced again. Dj pulled up the two chairs in the room and placed them beside the bed. Once I was sitting beside her I noticed how shallow her breathing was. She must not have much time left if the doctors can’t fix her…or maybe she was giving up. She held her hand out to me, and I took it, feeling how fragile it was. I could see the scars up her arm. I closed my eyes and forced myself to look up at her. Her expression was grief. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. I nodded. “It’s ok Mom…I…I’m glad I finally know you.” I felt the silent tears begin to dry on my face. “Tell me about yourself.” She said. I was quiet for a moment, then took a breath and launched into my life story. Dj held my other hand and both were quiet as I described my life for the next couple of hours. Then my mother described her life, not as great in detail but much more filled with stories. I stopped her when she described how she finally met Motley Crue in the 90’s. “You met Motley Crue?!” I asked, excited. She nodded with a smile. “You haven’t?” she asked me. “Well, I’ve met Nikki and Tommy, but I’ve never met the band itself.” She laughed. “Sometimes individual is better than the whole band in this case, trust me.” I urged her to continue with her story, and she seemed a bit happier as she went on. It was early morning by the time she finished, and I yawned as I saw the stars start to fade. Dj was fading fast beside me. He had his head on the bed, watching my mom with sleepy eyes. I kissed his hand and also laid my head down with another yawn. My mom put her hand on my head, coughing into her other hand. “Mom?” I whispered. “Yes Raven?” she answered. I felt warmth creep into me as I heard her say my name. “Mom…who is my dad? Where is he?” She stared into my eyes. “Baby, I’m not trying to upset you, but some things are meant for you to find out your own way. It’s not wise for me to tell you now trust me.” I frowned, but tired as I was I didn’t push the subject. I closed my eyes. “Mom?” I whispered one last time. “Yes baby?” She asked. “I love you.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “I love you too.” She said to me, running her fingers through my hair. I was asleep before the sun rose.