I'll Be There

So it turns out only I got kicked out since it was my fault, but thankfully Nikki elected to stay in a bus with me so I wasn’t lonely. We just tweeted and watched movies all night. Already it was another show day, the last Motley show before the fest. That means new hotel. Somehow the manager managed to swing us a huge room so that I could bunk with Nikki and stay out of trouble. That bummed me out, but I understood him. The last thing anybody wanted was a reincarnated 80’s “Sikki” running around. Especially when I’m this crazy without drugs.
I told Nikki I wanted to hang around town and see the place before I got back on with Guns. The band was on such high profile around Europe that we barely got to go out anymore. He agreed and as usual said I had to behave. “Pft…behave.” I mocked under my breath as I left the hotel. What did he think I was gonna do anyway? I only set his door on fire as a personal joke. He knows that. He probably just doesn’t want me in trouble with the managers anymore. Oh well, I had some money in my pocket and had the whole morning to get lost and have fun before the show later. My only problem was everybody spoke Romanian, so I had no idea how I could buy shit. I’d figure it out I guess.
I walked for a bit and found a cool looking antiques store. It was quite large and filled with interesting looking things. I wandered in curiously and began searching out things. I picked up a dragon shaped statue and saw a cracked mirror behind it. I smirked. Bad luck for me! I didn’t believe in that weird stuff. Although, there was a strange looking guy behind me. I stared into the mirror and thought I noticed him looking at me. I replaced the statue and turned around. The man glanced away. I rose an eyebrow and stared at him. He glanced at me and went to the other side of the store. He looked…out of place. He looked like a guy that should be on tour with us, not stalking me in a store full of old stuff. I let it go and continued searching around the store. After a few minutes though I kept noticing him just out of my vision. Now I was getting annoyed. Did he recognize me? Was the dude just a creeper? Was Nikki keeping tabs on me? No…he wouldn’t do that. I bet the manager would though.
I ducked behind a large medieval looking chair and watched him. He glanced around for a couple minutes, looking for me. When he turned the other way I headed out the door. I ran quickly and turned a corner, stopping to spy on the store. As expected, the guy walked out and looked around. He started heading my way. “Dammit.” I muttered, and I continued running for a few blocks. I finally ducked inside a little café and sat down, watching out the windows. Sure enough, he turned up a couple minutes later. What the fuck! Then I noticed he kept glancing down before he looked around, he was on his phone. I face-palmed. Of course, he probably had some gps tracker set on my phone. Technically that shouldn’t be possible, but rich people know ways around things. Aggrivated, I turned my gps off and pulled the battery from my phone. Predictably he made a shocked face and looked around, positive I must be watching him from nearby. I took the opportunity to make a run for it. Nobody was going to stalk me, not if I had a say about it. On top of that, Nikki would definitely hear about this later.
I barely noticed as the guy saw me and called my name. I shot him my finger and kept running. I ran until I couldn’t breathe. As I stopped to catch my breath I noticed the scenery had changed. Run-down houses and kids in shaggy clothes lined the streets. I saw some kids in a small fenced in courtyard playing kickball. I watched them with a smile on my face. I never got to do things like that when I was young. A boy was suddenly beside me, maybe a couple years younger than I. He was as tall as me for sure. Now I hoped I would grow a little more before I was out of my teenage years. I didn’t wanna be taller than Dj, but man I wish Nikki’s tall gene would kick in already. The boy stared at me with bright eyes. “Raven.” He said. I was shocked. This kid knew who I was?
I simply nodded, and he smiled. “Come?” He asked. His accent was strong, but it was one I’d never heard. Maybe there’s just not too many Romanians in LA. I shrugged and followed him. It seemed like something out of a movie. We walked through an alley that seemed to be wafting smoke from out of nowhere. The breeze blew slightly and I noticed it coming from vents under the street out of apartments. What the hell? Everything in my body radiated danger. Dj would kill me for following this kid, Nikki might even kill the kid. I kept my eyes keen just in case, but as of yet I sensed no ill intentions from him at all. Just in case I put the battery back in my phone and flipped the gps on. Couldn’t be too careful. I left it on silent and stuck it in my pocket as we came to a stop.
We were still in a maze of brick alleys, and the smoke had cleared a little. We were standing outside a rusted metal door, but it looked loose on its hinges. The boy smiled at me from beneath his shaggy brown hair. “Party.” He explained in his eccentric and accented voice. I smiled at him. “Awesome.” I replied. He tilted his head questioningly, but decided my smile was a good thing. Perfect, a party is just what I need to get my mind off things. He pried the door open easily and I was immediately rushed with the sounds of 70’s metal and mixed smokes. A couple I recognized, many others were foreign. Then I recognized a select couple that were too familiar. I scratched my arm absently. The boy grabbed my hand and led me through the crowd. The place was dark and slightly crowded, and there seemed to be only 3 groups of people. Partying, drunk, and high. Some were a mix of those. He showed me a tiny tv on the bar and beamed. “Iron Maiden.” We said at the same time, then laughed. “Soda?” He asked me. I nodded. The boy got the attention of one of the men behind the counter and soon he slid two glasses our way. It was definitely soda, but nothing like I had ever tasted before. I wondered if it was some strange home-mix. Either way, it was good. Better, no alcohol. Maybe I could trust this kid. I glanced at the clock on my phone and realized I should be back in an hour in order to make the show. “Hey,” I said to the kid over the thumping of ‘The Trooper’ in the background. He looked at me happily. “I have to leave in an hour.” I said, not sure if he would understand me. Sure enough, he raised an eyebrow curiously. I held my finger up and took out my phone. I tried to use an online translator to pass on what I was saying. He laughed when he read it and shook his head, I’m sure at the poor translation, but he said “Okay.” Anyway, so at least he understood me.
A guy came up and tapped him on the shoulder, speaking quickly in their language, and the boy looked at me before following the guy. I followed as I assumed he wanted me to. Just then another song came on. The TV screen was blank, because there was no video for it. Dancing On Glass by Motley Crue. Not even close to the 70’s, but still a good song, and very underplayed. Somehow that gave me an eerie feeling. The boy glanced back at me and I looked past his shoulder to see where we had stopped. There was a table with literally feet of lines on it. Incredibly, people were actually taking turns going at it. I stared in shock. Then the boy gave me a look of recognition. “This you dad.” He stated, referring to the music. I barely managed a nod. He beamed and took his turn as it came around. Then he once again looked up at me expectantly, his eyes already half-closed in bliss. I felt sorry for the kid. I understood what this life was like exactly, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was then that I noticed moans of complaint coming from the table. I was holding up their line. This was not good at all. I tried to back away and explain the best I could that I couldn’t do it, but I was boxed in by the people behind me. A giant man next to be cracked his knuckles and eyed me like I was his dinner. I gulped and looked down sadly as the song ended. “Sorry Dad.” I said in my head as I took my turn.
There were legitimate sighs of relief as I did and the line continued being dispersed around the table. After that the Coke immediately rushed to my head. It was like Heroin all over again, except no pain, no needles, no creeper taking all my money, and for now no addiction. Two more old metal songs passed before once again I was expected to take my turn. My world went up in flames. Moments later, or minutes, I wasn’t sure, the boy appeared behind me and pulled me away. His eyes appeared glazed but sane. “Show!” He yelled. I smiled at him like a complete dope-head and said nothing. He tapped the small watch on his wrist and screamed at me again. “Raven, show!” His words made no sense. He glared at me and grabbed my arm, shoving through people. Sunlight suddenly burst into my vision and I threw my arms in front of my face, cringing in fear of the light. I turned around and saw him staring at me sadly. “Go.” He said above the quiet music behind him. “Go!” He yelled, giving me a last longing stare before slamming the door. Geez, what’s wrong with that kid?
“What the fuck do you mean ‘she ran away’?!” Nikki screamed at the idiot in front of him. The man stuttered. “I-I don’t know, I guess she saw me and then just ran I couldn’t catch up I- I’m sorry.” Nikki felt anger pouring into his brain. There was a hand on his shoulder and he turned his icy-evil glare on whoever was there. Mick shook his head sadly. He shrugged off the guitarist and stomped away. He was beyond pissed. He for sure did not tell ANYONE to be keeping tabs on her, he had trusted her to go out alone and be just fine. She probably hated him now, suspecting it was his fault. So much for trying to be a decent father. “Sixx, dude, it’s okay I’m sure she’s fine.” Vince said from beside him, afraid to get too close. The bandmates were well aware by now that when he was mad you didn’t get in his way. Nikki forced the tears back down his throat, making it burn. “What did he think would happen if she saw him?! Smile and wave and offer to take him shopping?! Does that sound like something she would do?! How the fuck can anyone be this stupid! She probably hates me, I trusted her and she probably thinks it was my idea!” Vince stood there silently, knowing nothing he could say would help. “Hey Sixx!” Tommy called from behind him. He turned and looked at the drummer, his best friend, trying not to appear angry as hell to him. He was smiling. “Dude, she turned her phone back on, she’s fine. She’s not even that far away we can go get her.”
“For real?” Nikki asked, rushing over. Tommy nodded and showed him the stalker’s phone. Sure enough, her phone was lit up on the map again. “Where is that place?” Nikki asked. “Some neighborhood?” He asked. His friend shrugged. “What’s it matter? I’m sure she’s fine though. Look, she hasn’t moved. Probably in some store or something.” “Or she could be in trouble.” Nikki muttered. The drummer looked at him questioningly. “Think about it,” Nikki said, trying not to sound upset, “Why would she turn her phone on if she didn’t want to be found?” That made them all think for a minute. “Alright, let’s go out and get her.” Vince suggested. Tommy agreed. “I’ll just stay here in case she comes back.” Mick said sarcastically. Nikki hugged the guitarist gently. “Thanks man.” And they went out.
I sighed and started walking, not knowing where the hell I was going. Curiously I took my phone out of my pocket, not sure what I would do with it, but nothing happened. I pushed the button and it wouldn’t come on. “Fuck.” I muttered. I stuck it back in my pocket and wandered around aimlessly. I couldn’t remember how I got here, or even where I was. I knew I was totally baked.
They were almost there when Tommy said “Dude, her phone just went off again.” “What?!” Nikki said. Why in the hell would she do that? “Maybe it died.” Vince said. “That’s true, she hasn’t moved from that place.” Tommy added. Nikki was stressed out enough without this on top of it. “Let’s hurry just in case ok?” Sure enough, they got there just a few minutes later and she was nowhere to be found. “Dammit!” Nikki swore. He didn’t like the look of this place one bit. What’s worse is the things he smelled wafting out of the gas. He was twitching with anticipation. “Let’s split up and look for her.“ He said, and without waiting for an answer he took off. Tommy looked at Vince and shrugged. “Guess I’ll take this route, you can head back the way we came.” “Right.” The blonde agreed, looking annoyed as usual. He was always the spoiled rockstar one of the group.
I wandered for a few minutes until I came to an alley without smoke. I thought I saw a street at the end so I followed it eagerly. As expected I soon bursted through to sunlight and pavement. My head was aching as I stared up at the sky happily. “Ray?” I heard someone yell. Curiously I glanced over and saw a familiar face. What’s his name…The guy ran over and looked down at me in relief. His short hair was wet with sweat. Oh. Tommy. I realized he was talking and suddenly began to hear him. “..so worried about you, where’ve you been at girl?” It took only a second of me not answering him for him to resume talking. “You fucked up? You look like it to me, I’ve had that look in my eyes way too many times.” He was starting to get boring, so I focused on the tree across the street instead. “Hey Nikki I found her.” He was saying. “Yeah yeah we’re heading back right now, meet you there.” I glanced back up at him. “You gonna come with me or do I gotta carry you?” I shrugged and started walking. He walked beside me as I dozed off into my own little dream world.
We apparently arrived at wherever we were going because a tall scary looking guy in a hat greeted us as we came in. Just a few moments after that I heard a voice yelling my name. Great, another familiar face…
Nikki went to hug her but immediately noticed something was off. He put his hands on her shoulders and stared in her eyes. They were cloudy and lost their curious edge. He sighed and looked at Tommy sadly. He already knew what he was thinking and nodded to confirm it. “Dammit.” He swore. Raven stared at something behind him as he stood up and let go of her. “Does anybody have a beer or something?” Nikki asked, trying to stay calm. He wasn’t mad at her, he just didn’t understand. Actually he did, but he didn’t, all at once. Did she do it because he was mad at him? Was she forced to? What if she didn’t remember? “Already on it man.” Tommy said from behind him, popping the cap off a bottle. “Raven.” He said, taking the bottle from his friend. Her unfocused gaze trained on him and she gave him his own cocky grin. He sighed. “Drink this okay?” “Ohhhhhkay.” She stuttered, taking the drink from him. After the first swig he noticed her eyes clear up real fast. After the second she spat it out. He smiled. “Welcome back.” He said. She glared at the bottle in her hand and then looked up at him, her face turning instantly horrified.
“Nikki I’m sorry I didn’t mean to there was this kid and he wanted me to go to a party with him but it was really this underground club and they were smoking and basing and they made me do it there was this big scary looking dude and I didn’t have a choice I don’t remember anything after that I’m sorry I’m sorry please don’t hate me.” I blurted all in one breath, causing myself to cough and try to regain air in my lungs. I didn’t even notice that I fell forward until he caught me and held me in his arms tightly. “I’m sorry too.” He mumbled, refusing to let me go. “I didn’t send him after you I swear, I’m just glad you’re ok.” My balance finally steadied itself and I hugged him back. “I love you dad.” I said. I wasn’t afraid of that word anymore. Never in my life have I had an adult that cared so much for me that they didn’t get angry over something stupid I did. He held the embrace as I tried to keep myself from crying. “Please don’t be me.” He said, and I could feel the emotion in his voice. “I know you idolize me and maybe you still don’t even accept me as part of your life yet, but don’t become me. The old you is gone, the old Sikki is gone, it’s just you and me now. You me and Dj. We’re here for you.” I opened my eyes and stared into the blackness of his shirt. He was right. I didn’t have to be anyone. I just had to be me. “I won’t.” I promised, my voice back and sounding strong. “Good!” He yelled, picking me up and swinging me around. I laughed. “Stop, stop!” I giggled. He put me down and I swayed dizzily. “You’re the best Nikki.” I grinned. He copied my smile. “I know.”