Darling, I Just Can't Go On

I pulled up into my driveway after school, Alex and Jack flying out of my car as they ran over to the Dawson house, just barely remembering to actually shut the doors behind them.

I rolled my eyes as I turned the car off, unplugging my iPod and slipping it into my pocket, before getting out of the car myself. Looking between my front door, my dad's car parked next to mine and Alex carrying Jack around in driveway next door, I decided that I would spend the day with the boys before I had to leave.

Just as I walked up next to the boys wrestling on the front lawn, Rian pulled into the driveway followed by Zack in his own car.

"Hey Andi," Rian said, looking a bit confused as I gave a small wave while kicking Alex who had been left flat on his back in the middle of the grass. Jack had gotten distracted by something shiney and just ran off, leaving Alex there with his eyes shut and his arms spread out next to him.

I poked at his side with the tip of my shoe, a small smile on my face.

"Stoppp," He whined, drawing out the end of the word, rolling over and latching onto my leg making me stumble a bit before regaining my balance.

I just stared down at him expectantly as he curled himself around my leg, my eyebrows moving up the slightest bit.

"I'm not dragging you over there," I said as I tried to pull my foot back, only to have him grip tighter.

"But walking means getting up..." He said looking up at me with wide eyes. "And getting up takes effort."

I just stared at him for a few seconds before calling out, "Jack! Alex has candy!"

Alex's eyes widened a few sizes bigger in fear as he let go of me, scrambling to get up as the lanky guitarist came barraling out of nowhere.

I just shook my head at them before turning, finding the other two band members in the garage talking to each other, completely oblivious to anything else. I moved over to the inside of the garage with them, sitting down on a stray, over stuffed chair.

Zack looked over, noticing me joining them, and gave a small smile and a nod of the head. I replied with a small smile of my own before he turned back to his conversation.

Alex and Jack soon joined us, after Jack had searched every single one of Alex's pockets for anything remotly sugar filled.

I rolled my eyes at the two as I pulled my legs up against my chest, sitting back and just watching as they messed around and played a few songs.

After a couple of the songs, I looked down at my phone to check the time, only to get sat on a few seconds later.

"You take my seat, you become my seat." Alex said as he basically laid atop my lap, chugging down a bottle of water.

I rolled my eyes at him again, reaching over and pulling the grey beanie that always seemed to be on his head off, placing it over my own hair before looking at my phone again.

I sighed when I noticed that it was just after five, and that I had a half hour drive to see my therapist.

"I have to go," I said pulling a face at Alex making him laugh.

"It won't be that bad," He reassured after making sure none of the others were paying much attention to their conversation. "She can't be any worse than mine was."

I just made another face as I pushed him off of me, him landing in a heap on the floor with a squeak.

"Bitch!" He called after me, laughing as I walked out of the garage and over to my house.

~~

I found myself sitting in a very uncomfortable chair in a very clean and white waiting room, my eyes darting around as I brought my feet up to sit underneath me.

My phone began to buzz as Alex replied to the text I had sent him, continuing the conversation we had been having ever since I parked outside of the small building. I smiled at the words before tapping out a response, avoiding looking at the lady sitting behind the desk who didn't look please.

After waiting for almost twenty minute, it being already fifteen after six, a small Indian woman entered the room.

"Ms. Tollson?" She asked, her voice thick with an accent.

I nodded, unfolding myself before standing up, pushing my phone into my back pocket as I followed the woman through a door, and then another to enter her office.

I once more folded myself into a chair, my hands sitting lightly on my lap as I fidgited with my fingers, looking around this room as I had the last one I had been sitting in.

"Your father made it very clear that this was an urgent matter, one that needed to be taken care of swiftly," the woman said, her accent making it hard to understand without having to strain my ears.

I just gave a small shrug as I looked down at my hands, wishing that I was back in the garage with Alex and the guys. I could feel her eyes on me as we sat in silence for a few moments before she continued.

"He said that you have been harming youself?" She said as more of a question.

"What has brought on this cutting..." She broke off her sentence for a moment to take a look at the file in front of her, "Andi is it?"

I nodded my head to signal that she had gotten my name right, but didn't make any effort to answer her other question.

"I know you may not want to talk about this, but it is something you need so that you can get better." She sighed, but I remained silent still.

The rest of the time went by in a similar manor, her asking me all kinds of questions, and me shrugging in response or not giving any answer at all.

With one last sigh Dr. Agarwal gave me a once over, stopping breifly when she got to my head.

"I enjoy your hat Andi, where did you get it?" She asked, trying to make small talk, or maybe just to get me to speak at all.

Despite myself, a small smile escaped as my thoughts drifted once more back to the rowdy boys who had most likely left the Dawson residence already, it being close to seven at the time.

"A friend..." I mumbled almost silently, hoping she wouldn't hear me at all.

It was quiet for a few minutes before she sighed again, "You may go now Andi, but I do hope you get get comfortable enough to start talking to me. All I want is to help you be happy again."

I nodded, having no intentions of ever opening up to the small woman, before standing and heading out of her office quickly, pulling my phone out as I went, finding a few texts from Alex.