Darling, I Just Can't Go On

I laughed quietly to myself as I watched Alex fall face first into my bed, putting a hand up to cover my mouth and stifle the noise.

"How is this bed so comfortable?" He groaned as he rolled over onto his back. "It's like a cloud from heaven above."

Moving into the room, I rolled my eyes at him, plopping myself down next to him on the bed.

Out of a new habit I had begun to form, I played lightly with the long strands of his hair, twisting them around my fingers and running my fingers through them softly.

"I love it when you play with my hair," He mumbled up to me, his eyes closing slowly as I continued.

"So you'll never guess what I found burried in the back of my closet the other day," I commented after a short silence had fallen between us.

"Hmm?" He hummed, keeping his eyes closed as his head rested over my crossed legs.

"A grey hoodie that smelled like boy and wet dog."

He laughed quietly, knowing which jacket I was talking about right away.

"I was begining to wonder where that went," He mused.

A light silence fell over us once more as I braided a few long pieces of Alex's hair together, moving on to another section as soon as I finished the one I was working on.

"What are you doing to my head?" He asked after he noticed that I was starting to pull at the hair a little bit more each time.

"Braiding it," I replied simply before running my fingers down through the twisted hair to get the small knots out.

With a small sigh I leaned myself back against my pillows, Alex moving his head off of my lap to let me stretch my legs out as he repositioned himself right next to me.

"So I had to go see my therapist today," I said with another sigh as I rubbed a hand into my face gently.

"How did it go?" He replied, sounding genuinely interested.

"Okay I guess..." I said trailing off before giving a small shrug. "I just don't like her. She's hard to understand and I really do not trust her."

"It's nice to have someone to talk to though," He pointed out as he looked over at me.

I looked back at him, ignoring the small leap my heart made.

"But I talk to you."

He just laughed at my words, rolling over so that half of his body was covering mine and his head was laying against my stomach.

"And I'm glad you do." He said as he wrapped his arms around my hips, bringing me closer so that my side was pressed tightly against his chest.

"Comfy?" I asked with a small giggle, a few more breaking free when he simply nodded against my abdomen.

"So, did you ever really talk to your therapist?" I questioned, going back to our last topic.

He let out a small breath, the warmth of it radiating through the thing cloth of my t-shit, before moving his face out of the shirt.

"Not really. I mean I talked to him, but I never really talked if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do." I replied, thinking about my father and how we hadn't really, truely talked since mom had walked out on us. Even before then, it was always her that I went to when I needed to talk, never him.

"Finally my parents just stopped sending me when they realized that it was just a waste of money for me to go and make small talk with a stranger."

"Y'know, I've noticed something these last few weeks that we've been haning out." I stated, speaking my thoughts out loud.

"And what is that?" Alex asked me as he unwrapped his arms from around me and rolled back over onto his back, running a hand through his still half braided hair.

"I haven't been reading." I said simply. "I also haven't been pushed into the lockers as much, and to be honest, I actually feel happy."

"Well I've noticed something to," He said as he sat up, looking down at me as he grabbed my hand, fiddling the tips of my fingers with his own.

"And what is that?" I replied in a horrible imitation of his voice making him roll his eyes at me.

"I haven't been going to parties." He said, looking down to our hands. "I haven't had a drink in almost a month and I actually feel like I can go on without it. I feel like I don't need to numb myself."

"You know what that means right?" I asked, making him look over to my face, head tilted to the side as if to tell me to go on. "It means that we're kinda, sorta perfect for each other."

He laughed loudly at my cheesy line, dropping my hand so that he could use both of his to rub over his face as he shook his head.

"Yeah, we are kinda, sorta perfect for each other."

~~

After deciding that my room was boring and that there was 'nothing fun to do', Alex and I moved down into the living room.

Sitting down on the couch, he put an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him slightly. I just pulled my knees up against my chest before leaning in closer to him, turning on the TV and searching for something, anything, to watch.

"God, TV sucks." Alex commented after I had scrolled through the many channels multiple times. "There's never anything good on."

It wasn't until I saw a flash of a movie title on one of the channles that I stopped pressing at the button.

"I love this movie!" I laughed as I tossed the remote down.

"This is one of the most ridiculous movies Jack has ever made me watch with him," Alex said as he shook his head, laughing as he did so.

"Of course Jack would watch Mean Girls," I rolled my eyes, not even surprised at half of the things that the lanky guitarist did or said anymore.

"I sometimes wonder why I'm even friends with him."

As we sat there, we didn't notice the time passing, or that the movie was half over already. We just talked, about nothing of any importance, but just talked.

"I think this is the most I've actually talked in one day in the last year..." I commented, more to myself as I once more just spoke my thoughts.

"I like it when you talk," Alex said with a shrug, making my head that was against his shoulder bob up and down with the movement.

"It's just hard to talk when you know that no one is listening."

Whatever he was about to say next was cut off by the front door opening and a voice carrying through the foyer into the living room.

"Whose car is in the driveway?" Dad said, stopping suddenly when he saw Alex and I peeking over the couch like a pair of deer caught in headlights. "Well..."