Darling, I Just Can't Go On

I was trying to finish writing an English paper I had due during my seventh period when Alex joined me in the library, sittind down in his seat across from me with a crooked smile when he noticed what I was doing.

"I see you forgot about that too," He said while pulling a notebook out, turning the pages until it showed a half written essasy littering the page.

"I didn't forget," I mumbled. "I just put it in the back of my mind until I could work on it."

Alex only snorted at my half-assed response before starting to work on his own paper, sitting with one leg proped up on the bottom of the seat as he wrote.

I just rolled my eyes at him before stretching my legs out to rest my feet on the leg that wasn't pulled up, scribbling down a few more words before finishing off the sentence I had been working on when he had walked in.

"So the guys and I have a show this weekend," He mentioned randomly. "We want you to come."

I just looked up at him, any smile that had been showing on my face having disapeared at his words. Alex noticed the look on my face, and quickly tried to convince me.

"Look I know you're not a big fan of crowds, expecially of people you don't know and everything, but we'd really love it if you'd come and see us play." He said while setting his pen down and pushing his notebook to the side slightly.

"I'm just terrible in social situations like that," I sighed, running a hand through my hair lightly. "There's too many people who I don't know and I'd feel so awkward the entire time."

"You can hang out with us before we go on and then stand backstage the entire show if you want to," He said trying once more to convince me. "You don't even have to go out into the main room if you don't want to."

I bit at my lip, chewing on it slightly as I thought over his words before giving a small nod.

"Alright, I guess I'll go..."

A grin lightened up Alex's face, his eyes sparkling with delight at my words.

"Awesome! I'm so pumped for this now."

I just laughed at him before looking back down to my paper, scribbling down a few more lines to finish it off as I chewed on my lip again. My mind was running wild with thoughts of the weekend, and how much I was worried about going to the show. I knew that it would mean a lot to Alex, which is why I agreed, but I wasn't sure how well I would take the crowds and such.

With my paper finished, I folded the paper in half and shoved it into a folder, before shoving the folder into my bag. Looking back up I found Alex still working on his own paper, only halfway done.

"Man, you are so behind." I laughed, crossing one foot over the other on his lap which made him shift slightly.

"I forgot okay?" He stuck his tongue out at me before giving a small laugh. "The guys and I have been working hella hard with the band lately and I have like no time for school work."

"You guys are getting pretty serious with it aren't you?" I asked, knowing how hard Alex had been working himself to write new songs and to write new guitar parts ever since they had talked to the record company a month or so beforehand.

"I never thought we'd ever be anything but a cover band, but we're getting noticed more and more now a days so yeah, I guess we are getting serous." He explained with a small shrug, but he was smiling, one that showed how much he wanted the band to be something more.

I smiled myself, loving to see just how happy he was, more so than he had been when we first became friends a couple of months back.

"Well I'll be rooting for you guys the entire time," I said with a laugh making him smile even more.

"Shit, stop talking to me!" He groaned when he looked back down to his paper. "I really need to finish this and you keep distracting me!"

I just rolled my eyes, which I had noticed that I did a lot more around the guys than any other time in my life, before sticking my tongue out at him which he did in return.

~~

I climbed out of my car after having dropped Alex and Jack off at Alex's house, noticing that my dad's car was parked in it's normal spot showing off that he had gotten home from work while I was gone.

Heading inside, I found my dad in the kitchen standing at the stove, stirring a pot of something slowly with his eyes fixed on something in front of him.

"Hey dad," I greeted feeling awkward as I moved to sit at the island.

"Hello Andi," He replied, looking over his shoulder at me before returning his gaze to the pan.

"I had a quick question..." I said, wringing my fingers together slowly as I looked down to my nails, the polish on them chipped and in need of a fresh coat.

"What is it?" He asked me, turning a dial on the stove before turning to face me.

"Well the other day, Rian said that his mom wants us to come to Thanksgiving at their house." I explained. "And I know that last year wasn't the greatest, so would you want to go over?"

He let out a deep sigh, rubbing both of his hands over his face, digging his fingers lightly into his eyes, before dropping them.

"I guess we can," He sighed again. "I didn't think last year was that bad, but if you really want to we can join them."

I dropped my head a bit at his last sentence, not knowing that he didn't notice how terrible the year before had been, our first Thanksgiving with mom there cooking for us and making it a big celebration.

"Why don't you just tell Rian that we'll show up," Dad said noticing me slumped posture.

"They're having a bunch of other people over, I hope that doesn't make a difference." I mentioned making him just let out another sigh.

"It's fine Andi," He said. "You want to spend time with your...friends, so I won't stand in the way of that. It was very nice of Kathi to invite us over in the first place."

I just nodded slowly, slipping off of the stool before heading towards the stairs.

"Dinner will be ready in half an hour," He called after me in a tired voice as I mounted the first step, moving up to my room to escape the awkward tension that had built up in the kitchen.