Darling, I Just Can't Go On

"Shh," I hushed Alex as we slipped through the back door, my shoes dangling from one hand and the other tangled together with Alex's so that I could lead him through the house.

Setting the shoes down silently I looked back at Alex with a grin on my face, one that could only come from sneaking a boy into my house when my father was asleep just up the steps.

"Let's go to my room," I whispered to him as quiet as I could, seeing him nod in the dim light of the kitchen.

With his hand still intertwined with mine I led him up the stairs, making sure to go slow so that we could make each step without leaving noise behind us. Once we had made it to the top of the stairs without them creaking under the duel weight I paused breifly, making sure that my father didn't stir in his room just down the hall.

"It's safe," I mumbled before moving into my room.

I shed the jacket and the beanie from my body, blushing as I turned around only to find Alex standing next to my bed with his hands stuffed awkwardly in his jeans pockets.

"Can you turn around?" I asked quietly as ran a hand through my long hair to rid it of the tangles that had built up from wearing the beanie.

He simply noded before turning his attention to the wall behind him, only taking the time to removed his jacket and kick off his shoes.

Quickly changing into a pair of plain shorts and a tank top I moved over to my dresser, pulling out a pair of boy's basketball shorts that I had gotten years before due to how comfortable they were to lounge around the house in.

"Here," I said as I stretch my arm out, Alex turning around and taking them from me silently.

He shuffled out of his jeans as I moved around to sink into the bed, pulling the cold covers over my small frame only for him to join me a minute later once he had pulled the shorts up over his hips.

Without a second thought I moved in closer to him, curling against his side to try and steal some of his body heat on such a cold night. His arms wrapped around my middle loosely so that he could pull me in closer.

"Is it weird that I asked you to stay?" I mumbled into his shoulder as I curled even closer against his body. "I feel like it might be weird."

"I don't mind," He replied as I moved my face into the crook of his neck.

"I just didn't want to be alone," I sighed, rubbing my nose lightly back and forth across the skin of his neck.

"Why not?" He questioned as he leaned into my touch.

"I was having some not so good thoughts before I got your first text," I replied giving a small shrug, feeling one of his hands travel down my side and come to a rest against my hip, me nodding to confirm his unasked question. "Truth be told, I think about it a lot. It's always there, just hiding in the back of my mind, and it only really shows up when I'm alone."

"Why haven't you ever told me?" He asked making me shrug again as I buried my face into the side of his neck, not really wanting to talk on the subject anymore.

Sensing my want to drop the subject he began to hum a soft melody under his breath, the feelings of his voice vibrating against my skin. In contrast to his humming, his fingers began to trace the lines across my upper thigh lightly, feeling the dips and the creases of the scars.

"What song is that?" I whispered into his collar bone lightly.

"And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand..." He sang softly making a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth.

"I love this song," I mumbled as my eyes began to grow heavy once more, despite only having been awake for an hour or two. "I think I might sleep some more."

"It's fine, just sleep love. I'll be here when you wake up."

~~

"I may have gotten you something," Alex said from beside me as we sat on the trunk of his mother's car outside of Rian's house, him having parked it there to avoid suspision from my father.

It wouldn't be out of the ordinary for Alex to stay over at one of his best friend's houses, and it would be easier to explain than it being parked outside of my house.

"I told you I didn't want gifts," I sighed making him give me a sly grin.

"Close your eyes," He said making me groan, but with a smile tugging at my lips as I shut my eyes, sticking my hands out joking.

I heard Alex laugh lightly before a soft material was placed in my hands, and a kiss was placed on the corner of my mouth.

"Happy Birthday, again." He said making me open my eyes, the blush rising to my cheeks being covered by chill in the air that had already redened them.

In my hands sat a simple dark blue beanie with a patch sewn into it, the words All Time Low standing out against the dark material with their white letters.

"This is amazing!" I said happily as I removed the grey beanie from my head and replaced it with the new one which fit a bit more snugly than the other one due to it not having been broken in yet. "I love it."

"I'm glad you do," Alex said, beaming a smile at me.

Leaning forward, I placed a kiss on his cheek, much like he had done previously making him laugh.

From inside of the house next to the Dawson's Andi's father watched the pair from out of one of the front windows, his arms folded across his chest tightly as his lips sat in a firm line. His daughter had grown too fond of the brown haired singer and he didn't like it.

"Thank you Alex, really." I said as I wrapped my arms around him in a hug which he returned gladly.

"Anything for my favourite girl," He replied making me want to blush yet again.

"So I finally surpassed your mom," I teased as I pulled away from him, keeping close though as a short gust of wind blew making strands of my long blonde hair blow up around my face, which Alex brushed back into place lightly.

"She will always have a special place in my heart, right next to Jack's mom after we had our scandalous love affair, but yes. You are officially my number one girl."

"I'm honored with such a high position," I joked giving a small laugh. "Having surpassed not only the mother, but also the older, ex-lover."

From the house in front of us, the door opened, and a very bundled up Rian emerged onto the porch.

"My mom sent me out to see why you were being all cute in front of our house," He called over to us making me snort quietly. "Oh, and happy birthday Andi."

"Thank you, Rian!" I called back to him, giggling as Alex jumped down from the trunk only to grab my hips and pick me up, returning my feet to the ground with a big flourish.

"Oh my prince charming," I mock gasped, bringing a hand to cover my mouth as I batter my eyelashes.

"God just leave already, this is sickening." We heard Rian comment. "Just date already or something...."