Darling, I Just Can't Go On

Over the next few weeks, I spent every possible minute I could working with the guidance lady, her name being Mrs.. Ocariz; She had told me to just call her Mrs.. O for short. The many days I spent in her office, we put together my portfolio, with help from the art teacher, and she even helped me fill out the applications.

"I still can't get over how good these are Andi," She commented one day as she was flipping through my finished portfolio. "It would have been so amazing if you would have been on the yearbook committee. That would look great on your application."

"I wish I would have too," I replied as I pulled my knees up to my chest, scribbling down the last few words on yet another application to an artistic college, the one in front of me being for the Arts Academy of Cincinnati. "Have you heard anything from the school in New York?"

"Not yet, but I still have my fingers crossed for you." She said happily, to which I only nodded as I bit at the corner of my lip, my eyes cast towards the clock. "If you're done with that one you can go. You didn't need to stay in here."

I once more nodded, taking the portfolio folder that she was handing to me before putting it in my bag along with the application as I quickly left the office. Walking fast, I made it to the library only minutes before Alex sauntered in.

"Hola chica," He greeted with a terrible accent making me laugh as I scratched down my name and the time before handing the pen to him.

"Don't you take French, not Spanish?" I questioned, to which he only grinned with a shrug before putting his hands on the backs of my shoulders and gently leading me towards of table.

"I have big news," He said, excitement laced in his words.

"What is it?" I asked as I pulled my legs up to sit crossed legged in the seat, the low arm rests making it a very comfortable position.

"I was guan tell you this morning but I may have forgotten, which isn't really my fault because you know that I'm not a morning person and there wasn't even coffee left for me and I slept in-" He rambled on, me cutting him off by leaning across the table and putting a hand over his mouth.

"Out with it boy," I mock yelled at him only to quickly retract my hand after he had licked it. "Dude gross."

"The record label wants us to start recording soon." He blurted out as I wiped the spit off my hand by rubbing it up and down my jeans.

"Are you serious?!" I asked loudly, getting a glare and a 'shush' from the librarian which I ignored as I bolted from my seat and landed on Alex's lap, my arms wrapping tightly around his neck. "That is so amazing!"

He chuckled as he hugged me back, arms placed loosely around my waist.

"Ms. Tollson," The librarian snapped harshly. "Remove yourself from Mr.. Gaskarth's lap before I send you both to the office for PDA."

With a huff I moved off of Alex, pouting as I sank back into my own seat making him laugh.

"I was quite content where I was thank you," I muttered under my breath but sent a coy smile over to him as I said it which only got me an eye roll in reply. "So when are you guys supposed to go in?"

"Well the guy said next week for sure, but we don't have an exact date yet. Plus it has to be after school which messes with their scheduling but he said that they would work it out no problem." He answered, a certain gleam in his eyes as he started to get excited again. "I'm putting Tom's song on the EP."

I reached across the table and grasped both of his hands between mine, him giving me a smile at the gesture.

"I've been working on the chords for it and everything, and I only changed them up a bit but yeah."

"You'll have to play it for me later," I said as I gave his hands a squeeze.

"I also reworked the guitar on Running From Lions and it's not entirely an acoustic song anymore,"

He explained, moving his hands from mine only to twine his fingers through mine with both hands so that our arms stayed stretched out across the small table. "It actually has more electric guitar than the acoustic."

"I'm really excited to hear what you have, especially these new songs you keep talking about but won't let me read yet," I said playfully making him smirk and sit back, our hands slipping apart. "That reminds me! We finished putting my portfolio together today."

"Gimme, gimme, gimme," He said quickly, making grabby hands at me as I pulled my bag onto my lap, barely getting the folder out before it was in his hands and he was flipping through it.

"Damn," I muttered to myself as I dropped my bag back onto the floor, watching as Alex's eyes scanned across each page slowly even though he had already seen every picture that I had decided to use.

"I still can't get over how amazing these are, and they look even better now that they're all professionally put together or whatever." He said as he continued to slowly go through it. "Any school would be crazy not to accept you instantly."

His words brought a blush back to my face, one that always seemed to appear whenever he or someone else would complement me, or just when Alex was around in general.

"Shut up," I mumbled as I pulled me knees to my chest, my hair cloaking my face easily.

"Learn to put up with it 'cause I don't plan on stopping anytime soon," He replied making me stick my tongue out at him in a childish gesture. "How many schools have you applied to?"

"Like ten I think," I replied with a shrug, his earlier compliment soon forgotten. "I'm still set on the one in New York though."

He only nodded in response as he shut the folder and slid it back to me.

"What?" I questioned, picking up on his mood drop instantly.

"That's just so far away," He said with a shrug making my heart give a harsh tug.

"It's not that far," I tried to explain. "I mean, it's only like a three and a half hour drive."

"Yeah, I know." He replied with another shrug. "It'll just be weird not having you here all the time if you do go there."

"It'll be fine Alex," I sighed, not really knowing what else to say. I didn't even think about what I would be leaving behind if I moved two states away for school, my thoughts just focused on getting accepted. "We'll still be best friends right?"

He glanced up at my words, a crooked grin spreading across his face as the mood lifted.

"You couldn't get rid of me even if you wanted to."