Darling, I Just Can't Go On

One of the few things that always kept me calm was when it rained. It was even better if it rained at night, but rain anytime of the day was okay with me.

So when the rain started an hour or so after dad and I had finished eating dinner, I was instantly in a better mood. It took a lot to bring forward the happiness I knew was burried inside of me, but rain never failed to do just that.

I slipped a pair of Vans onto my bare feet before heading for the backdoor, quietly opening and closing it behind me once I had stepped out into the cool Autumn shower.

Leaning my back against the door, I slowly sunk into a sitting position, pulling my legs up against my torso, letting the baggy basketball shorts covering my legs ride up my thighs as the small overhang provided the only shelter I needed from the downpour. The cement beneath me was cold against my butt, but nothing could ruin the mood I was in.

I felt a smile form itself on my lips as my eyes fluttered shut to the sound of the rythmic pitter patter of the rain hitting down.

I was lost in my own little world, just off in my head with my thoughts taking over.

It wasn't until the backdoor next door opened that I was pulled from my wandering imagination.

I watched as a dark figure leaned against the doorframe, hands buried deep in their messy hair, with a heavy sigh. They let their hands drop down to their side before finally looking around.

"Andi?" A voice called over to me, trying to speak up against the rain. "What are you doing out in this storm?"

Alex's voice was unmistakeable, even with his voice being muffled and watered down.

"The rain helps me relax." I called back to him, taking in the look of surprise on his face that I had answered a question with a straight forward answer.

"Would you mind if I came and sat with you?" He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets after flicking the hood of his light jacket up over my messy hair.

"I guess so..."

He quickly jogged over, his shoes making a squishing noise against the already soggy ground. His body collapsed next to mine as he shook the rain away from his face, sending a cheeky smile over to me when I shied away from a few stray droplets that flew my way.

"So why are you out here Gaskarth? I mean I told you, so it's only fair that you return the information," I said looking over at him as he stretched his long legs out infront of him, not seeming to care as the rain pelted against his legs and feet that were no longer covered by the overhang.

"I got into a fight with my girlfriend," He sighed, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair before letting it drop back down. "Over the phone no less. After that I just didn't want to sit around with the guys giving me those looks of pity."

"Sorry to hear that," I mummered, letting my head rest against the back of the door as I stared up at the clody sky, catching a glimpse of a cluster of stars when the clouds would break.

"I'm just glad that I'm finally done with her. She's been on my case lately about spending too much time with the guys or something like that."

"So, you broke up with her?" I tried to clarify.

"Yeah, and for good this time."

Not really positive on what I was supposed to do, I decided to do nothing. Instead, I focused on the sounds around me, letting my eyes slip closed once more.

For once the silence between us was a comfortable one, now that we were in my element and my comfort zone.

"Are you smiling?" Alex suddenly asked, his voice sounding closer than before.

I opened my eyes to find his face closer to mine that it had originally been making me shift slightly, my shoulders moving up in a shrug as I bit at my lip.

"I don't think I've ever really seen you smile."

Again I just shrugged, "There's a frist time for everything."

"So this rain..." He trailed off, leaning back again.

"I love the rain," I said, not sure if he was asking a question or not. "It's the most beautiful thing in nature."

"And puts you in a good enough mood to speak more than two sentences to me." He pointed out with his lopsided grin.

"Like I said, most people don't really listen."

"Or maybe you're just afraid of letting someone in."

"It's hard..." I admitted. "Actually letting someone in is one of the hardest things to do."

I had moved my eyes away from his at that point, looking back out to my yard , anywhere but at him.

"But it's also hard to keep everything bottled up inside of you." He said, his eyes not wavering from their stare on my face. I could feel his brown orbs boring into me as if he could see all the pain inside of me.

"It's trusting, and trusting is something I have issues with." I mumbled.

It was quiet between us once more, and I thought that maybe he would just leave it at that so I could avoid saying anything else.

And silent he stayed, but he reached over suddenly, grasping my hand in his lightly.

I looked over at him confused as he twined his fingers through mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my confusion dripping from my words.

"I wanted to hold your hand," He answered nonchalantly with a shrug, but I could still make out the grin that his mouth formed.

I had gotten myself into some real trouble at that point.