Forgive Your Past

"Katie!" She heard behind her, the voice immediately registering.

Everything seemed to slow down, she turned around at an agonizing pace. Their eyes met like in the movies, his breath ragged. This couldn't be real, she wanted to pinch herself to see if she would wake up. Instead she reached out, her fingers brushing his arm because he was that close. The spark between them almost brought her to her knees, this was real.

"Harry?" She choked out, feeling his hand smooth its way up her arm.

It was like they were both lost in one another, making sure this wasn't just another dream. He didn't want to wake up if it was, he would die like he had in every other one.

"Katie," he whispered, reaching up to stroke her cheek, just missing as she gasped and pulled away.

"What are you…what are, you doing here?"

He was cautious, not wanting a scene like the last time. Rubbing at the back of his neck, he thought of the right way to answer her, so many things coming to mind. It was now or never though, he had nothing left to lose so he went with honesty.

"I was going to stay away, give it some time. Louis, he actually suggested it after he walked in on a hail storm from all the discarded letters I tried to write you." Nervously chuckling, he felt himself start to perspire. "He told me to give you time, ring you later when things had cooled off so I could beg for your forgiveness. The other lads, well they thought I should come see you, and with you flying home I knew what I had to do. I couldn't leave it like this Katie."

"I…I don't, Harry," she tried, but nothing seemed to come out. She was confused, all of this information almost too much to take in.

"They all know about you, finally. I know that's what you wanted."

This sent her head into spins of rage, even a huge gesture like this that should have made her swoon could be ruined by one little comment. She wanted to scream at him, hit him so maybe he would understand, but as the flare subsided just as quickly as it came, she realized she was tired.

"That wasn't what I wanted," she softly confessed, shaking her head. "I just wanted you to love me without shame Harry."

Now it was his turn to be confused.

She bit down on her bottom lip, noting his change in expression. "I thought that was all I wanted, you to just tell your mates about me. But the second you just said it I realized that wasn't it. I just wanted you to love me without being ashamed of me."

"I did, I did love you without shame," he assured her.

"Then why keep it a secret?"

Harry thought on that for a moment, shrugging when he couldn't come up with a solid answer.

"I don't know, maybe I thought that by keeping it behind closed doors I was doing us a favour, I was keeping it just for us so nobody could taint what we had."

Sucking in a breath, she fought the tears without success, a few slipping down her cheeks. "But you tainted it Harry, you poisoned it and then just cut me off like a dead limb."

Swallowing hard, he tried to compose himself knowing that she felt that way, as well as watching her cry almost broke him.

"It kills me to know that I hurt you so badly, and if I could take it back I would. I never meant to break your heart, I was trying to protect it."

"Yeah well, good job with that one," she spat sarcastically, patting herself down as if she was looking got something.

He watched her, his stomach turning like he was going to be sick. He was anxious, unsure of what she wanted to hear him say, unsure of what he wanted to say.

Her eyes then rose to meet his own, the tears that had calmed beginning to flow almost immediately at the sight of him. She was sad now, sad that they had been reduced to a movie cliche, that the ending wouldn't be what people would want.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, pursing his lips out of fear.

She had wanted to hear those words for so long, convinced that they would solve everything. She was wrong, an i'm sorry only made her heart ache even more.

"I've hated you for so long Harry, avoided you like the plague, tried to think of anything but you for almost two years but I couldn't. Why couldn't you have just faded into oblivion like a normal person?"

"I'm not normal," he tried, getting her to chuckle just enough through her tears. "You had every right to hate me, still hate me. I was wrong, really stupid and wrong. I tried to forget you, and for a while it worked, out of sight out of mind y'know? But when I saw your name again, I just wanted so badly to see you. It consumed me Katie, you consumed me."

Raising an eyebrow at him, she couldn't help herself. "Is that a movie reference?" She teased.

Laughing, Harry shrugged. "Probably."

With a small smile, she ran a hand through her hair, opening her mouth to say something but was cut off.

"I just want to know one thing."

"What?"

"Do you still, even if you hate me, do you still sort of…" He trailed off, looking out of his question.

"Yes," she breathed, the realization stunning even her. "Do you?"

"I never stopped," he muttered, inching closer to her so that she looked up at him.

Her eyes welled up one again, but this time he reached out, capturing her tears with the pads of his thumbs. He moved it along her cheek, his fingers inching down the back of her neck.

She closed her eyes, running her tongue over her lips, her mouth suddenly feeling like it had been stuffed with cotton. Her hand came between them, gently pressing her palm against his chest.

"I've missed you Katie," he whispered, his voice causing her eyes to flutter open.

He brought his face closer, his nose brushing her own as he tested the limits. She exhaled again deeply, a soft noise escaping her lips in response, all ability to speak lost.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm so sorry."

"Shut up," she mumbled, their lips crashing against one another.

The arm resting by his side wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer into him. Her own arm that had kept a safer distance between them found its way around his neck, her fingers slipping into his curls.

They stood like this in the middle of the airport, kissing like their lives depended on it. Caught up in a moment they wanted to hold on to.

When reality slowly began to set in, Kate pulled away, her hand falling back between them. She looked at him through her lashes, a look that made him worry.

Furrowing his eyebrows, he brushed some hair behind her ears, taking her face gently between both hands and silently begging her to tell him what was wrong.

"Good-bye Harry," she whispered, her body contradicting her words.

He knew what she meant, this was their final good-bye, not a see you later. Kate was letting him go.

"Katie," he begged, wanting to cling to her until she changed her mind, even though he knew she wouldn't.

Gently prying herself out of his arms, she reached up to press her hand against his cheek, her eyes falling to her feet. She turned, scooping up the forgotten bag before she walked away.

He watched, desperate for her to turn around or glance back at him, anything to indicate that she wanted him to chase her. It never came, she never looked back.

And as the sea of people swallowed her up, making her apart of them instead of him, he knew. This is how she must have felt when he told her he had to go, that it wouldn't work.

He had assumed that this would change everything, just like the end of a romantic comedy. She would fall into his arms and stay there while the credits played, giving hope to everyone in their seats. But life didn't work that way, sometimes it all has to go to shit to make us realize our mistakes.

So there he stood, controlling his breathing to stop his own tears, letting her walk out of his life. This was his biggest mistake.