Broken Wings

Upon entering Las Vegas, Nevada, CC became even more distant with his band mates. It worried the boys greatly that the usually hyper, happy-go-lucky drummer was so silent and distant. While Jake was out with Jinxx on coffee runs, Andy and Ashley remained on the bus to try and talk to the brown eyed drummer.

"c'mon, CC. You're never this distant. What's wrong?" Andy asked again, for the fifth time in fifteen minutes. CC shrugged in response again.

"I swear CC, this isn't funny. What the hell is going on in that head of yours?" Ashley asked, moving to sit on the bunk beside him.

"nothing's wrong" CC muttered softly, shifting to curl up against the back wall of the bunk. Andy frowned and sat the other side of him.

"is it Jake?" the singer softly questioned. A crystal tear raced down CC's left cheek, silently answering Andy's question. Ashley frowned.

"what about Jake?" Ashley asked, hearing the presence of the guitarists.

"I'm in love with him, Ashley. But I know he doesn't feel the same way. I mean fuck, who would love a guy like me?" CC questioned, more tears beginning to fall.

"CC, shut up" Ashley said. "there is nothing wrong with you, alright? You're a great friend. We love you like brothers. And I know Jake loves you the same, C. We can see he does. You two are just blind to it"

At that moment, Jinxx's head popped 'round the door. "everything okay?"

"CC's a wreck, but yeah, things are good" Andy stated sarcastically. Jinxx rolled his eyes and joined them.

"I heard everything you just said, Chris" Jinxx said as he sat on the floor in front of the bunk.

"did Jake?" Ashley asked. Jinxx shook his head.

"No. He was up front talking to Jon about something to do with getting sushi before tonight's show" CC groaned from frustration and let his head rest on his knees.

"why is love so fucking difficult?" he questioned, sobs beginning to shake his body. Andy shuffled closer to the drummer and pulled him into a hug, running his fingers through his hair softly and comforting him.

"CC, don't cry man. Jake loves you, alright? He's just too hooked up in his thoughts to admit it to you, alright? Don't stress over it. We'll talk to him" he said. CC just kept crying softly. Andy sighed.

"get some sleep, C" Ashley said as he and Andy got up from the bunk. "we'll call you when we've got to get ready"

"'kay" CC mumbled back, shifting so he was under the sheets and curling up into a tight ball. With a final, inaudible sigh, the three left the distraught drummer to pester their lead guitar player.

"Jake! Can we talk to you?" Jinxx asked as his guitar brother appeared in the lounge area.

"sure" Jake shrugged, sitting on the couch. "what's up?"

"what's going on with you and CC lately?" Jinxx asked as he sat down. "you were originally inseparable. Now...you both seem distant from each other"

Jake stayed silent for a few minutes. "I...I don't know what's going on, Jinxx. He's become more distant from us all and it's becoming harder to love him"

"you love him too, huh?" Ashley questioned, a small smile on his face as he sat on the coffee table. Jake nodded.

"I don't just love him, though. I'm in love with him. And it hurts that he's so fucking distant from everyone. I wanna be able to help him. But...I just can't"

"You can, Jake" Andy said, sitting beside Ashley. "you just have to make yourself believe that. Whether you admit you love him now or later, being there for him will be enough to make him happy. He's let himself believe you'd never love him as more than a brother"

"he just doesn't realise I'm in love with him" Jake muttered.

"and you don't realise he loves you too, Jake" Jinxx said. Jake sighed and got up.

"I'm going to see him" he mumbled, moving towards the bunks. The others smiled to themselves as they watched their friend disappear.

"CC?" Jake questioned softly. He heard a soft groan and the springs of a mattress squeak. He pulled back the curtain to CC's bunk and found himself looking deeply into the drummers blood-shot brown eyes.

"you called?" CC mumbled sleepily. Jake nodded and motioned for the drummer to move. CC frowned in confusion, but moved anyway. Jake slid in beside CC and shut the curtain again.

"the guys said you seemed down. You're eyes give it away," Jake began. "is there anything you wanna talk about?"

Yes. So much.... CC thought to himself. But, he came up with a quick lie.

"I just...I don't know, Jake. I just feel kinda shit lately, y'know?"

"I know that feeling, man" Jake chuckled, knowing exactly how the drummer felt. "are you sure it's just that? I mean, the guys said it's some guy you like. Wouldn't tell me who, but yeah"

CC silently thanks the guys for saying nothing, and shrugged. "I do like someone, but I don't think he likes me back. Y'know?"

"I know that feeling too man" Jake mumbled. "have you tried telling this guy how you feel?"

CC shook his head. "I'm scared, Jake"

"scared of what?"

"getting rejected" CC answered sadly, more tears beginning to form in his eyes. "I've been a reject most of my life. Getting rejected by the guy I'm in love with would kill me completely"

"well...you don't know until you try, right? And I'll always be here for you, CC. You know that. The guys too" Jake assured him, finally beginning to believe the guys were right and CC was hopelessly in love with him. CC sighed softly and nodded.

"I know, Jake. Thank you" he said, wrapping his friend up in a hug. "thank you for being such a good friend to me"

"it's what we're here for, isn't it? We're supposed to look out for each other" Jake said, returning his crush's hug. "is there anything else you wanna talk about, or was that all that was bothering you?"

"you can't freak out or anything, promise?" CC questioned, deciding it's time he trusted in Jake like he had in Andy.

"I won't freak out, CC. Unless you're self harming or contemplating suicide. Then, and only then, will I freak the fuck out" CC chuckled softly at his friends way of wording the sentence.

"I'm on anti-depressants.." CC muttered softly. "I have been since high school. Ever since I fell in love with the guy"

"why would I freak out about that, Chris?" Jake questioned, gently running his hands through CC's long black hair. "it's not you're fault"

"I just...I thought you wouldn't wanna be around a guy who gives off that he's happy but is dying inside"

"CC. Shut up will you? You're my best friend, alright? I'm always gonna wanna be around you. It's why we're in this band together! I'm always wanting to look out for you, okay? I love you man. I could never reject you for any reason" those final words gave CC a spark of hope. He smiled softly to himself and cuddled into Jake's side, causing butterflies to form in the stomachs of them both.

"Thank you Jake. For everything" he muttered softly, sleep beginning to take over his mind. Jake smiled and lightly drew shaped on the older man's back with his calloused fingertips.

"it's what I'm here for, C" he muttered, beginning to feel himself falling asleep. "it's what I'm here for"

With peace and hope finally filling the hearts of both men, they fell asleep wrapped up in each others arms.