Broken Wings

Thank you for being.
such a friend to me.
Oh I pray a friend for life.

Tears were still streaming down Jake's pale cheeks as he rushed into the hospital after the paramedics wheeling CC in. Andy held Jake back as he tried to follow them to theatre.

"Jake, let them do their job" Andy said softly, leading Jake to the waiting room to sit down. Jinxx had gone to get coffee for everyone. Ashley just sat in silence, mulling over everything that had happened in the past half hour.

Jon turned up with the drum and two guitar techs no more than ten minutes after Jinxx appeared with coffee for the band. The drum tech went to get coffee for himself and the other three.

Jake regretted never telling CC how he truly felt about him. He could've saved the drummers life before all this even happened if he'd just said those three little words that were floating around in his mind every time he was near the older man. CC had been nothing but a good friend and band mate to the four of them. He would've been will be an even better lover and boyfriend to Jake.

And have I ever told you,
how much you mean to me?
Oh you mean so much to me.

Jake sat for a good hour, mulling over the days events. He was considering the right words to finally admit to CC how he really felt. Maybe it'd give the drummer the extra strength to hold on to his life while he can...

A doctor came out no more than half an hour after Jake's thoughts started slotting into place. Jake looked at the time and realised he'd been silently thinking for well over three and a half hours now. He shook it off and looked at the doctor.

"how is he?" he automatically asked, getting to his feet and wiping his face.

"he's in bad shape," the doctor sighed. "he's got five shattered ribs, a broken left leg, dislocated right shoulder and internal organ punctures. We successfully closed the punctures, but we're not sure how long they'll last"

"b-but he'll live for a while, right?" Jake asked. The doctor frowned.

"it means, he may not even make it through the night" the words hit Jake like a bullet. He felt fresh tears falling. He felt his breath leave his lungs and his heart ache.

"you can go and see him, if you like. He's awake" the doctor said, half heartedly smiling at the group. Andy nodded and thanked him before leading Jake and the others to the room CC was in.

I'm thinking all the time,
how to tell you what I feel.
I'm contemplating phrases.
I'm gazing on eternity,
I am floating in serenity.

Jake was thinking about how to tell CC how he felt the whole way there. CC at least deserved to be happy if he's going to die, right?

Jake struggled to form a coherrant sentence when he stepped foot in the room. CC was hooked up to several machines, all assisting him with breathing and pumping fluids into his body.

"holy shit" Ashley muttered softly, more so to himself than the others. As the bassist stepped closer to the drummer, he could clearly see the cuts and bruises all over his bare chest, arms and shoulders. There was a purple-ish bruise forming under his left eye and his lip was split a little down the right side.

"CC? You awake dude?" Andy asked softly, placing a hand on the drummers shoulder. CC's soft brown eyes slowly opened as he looked in the direction of his best friend. He smiled slightly.

"hey, Andy" he murmured. "I'm apparently not gonna make it through tonight"

"bullshit" Jinxx said. "they said you might not make it, not you'd definitely die!"

"I'm willing to accept that I'm gonna die young, Jinxx. What's the point in lying to myself?" CC sighed, carefully pushing himself up so he was sitting up a little. Tears were continuing to fall from Jake's eyes as he listened silently to the conversation taking place.

For the first time in the four or more hours they'd been here, Jake was lost for words.

And I am so lost for words
And I am so overwhelmed

"is Jake in here?" CC asked weakly. Ashley nodded and motioned to the lead guitarist, who shakily stood and moved towards the bed. CC's lips formed a half smile as his hand weakly reached out for the younger man's.

"we'll, uhh...we'll be outside if you need us" Jinxx muttered softly, leading the other two silently outside. Jake didn't say a word.

"Jake?" CC questioned quietly. Jake hummed in response as he sat on the edge of the bed. "did you mean what you said before I got hit?"

"of course I did, Chris" Jake muttered. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. But I wish I'd waited a few seconds longer. Maybe then you wouldn't be here. Maybe then we'd be back on the bus in each others arms"

"don't blame yourself, Jake" CC sighed. "it's my fault for not hearing you out and storming off like I did"

"shut up, CC. My hesitation didn't help your thoughts" Jake argued.

"if you really love me, Jake. Stop arguing and kiss me" CC weakly snapped, a small, playful smile on his face. Jake returned the smile and leant down to fulfil the drummers request.

When Jake pulled away, he was smiling. CC was smiling too. A small blush had made it's way onto both their faces.

"don't leave me, Chris. Please" Jake muttered softly, kissing the drummers knuckles softly

Please don't go just yet,
can we stay a moment please?
We can dance together,
we can dance forever.

"I can't promise anything, Jake" CC mumbled. Jake frowned. "just think, if I do die, I'll be another star up there, watching over you"

"I don't want you to be another star though, CC" Jake said, his voice cracking again. "I want you to be under the stars with me"

Jake's mind was overwhelmed with thoughts and fears as the two continued to talk. Jake always tried to change the subject onto something ridiculous, but CC would always manage to start talking about him dying again.

The only emotion Jake could feel inside right now, was heartache and fear. He was scared he'd lose his long time best friend and his lover. He continued to blame himself, even after CC had told him it wasn't his fault.

Under your stars tonight
And I am so overwhelmed

"you remember that time when Andy thought he could be batman and jumped off that wall in Hollywood?" CC asked, smirking as Jake cringed at the memory.

"oh my God, yes. One minute he was there, and the next I was like; 'where the fuck did he get too?' and Jinxx and Ash were asking the same thing" Jake chuckled.

The two were sharing memories to try and keep the mood happy. CC's breathing was becoming noticeably slower, deeper and more shaky. It was greatly worrying Jake, but he tried not to think about it too much for fear he'd break down again. He didn't want to upset CC by letting himself cry again.

"do you remember the last time Jinxx was drunk?" Jake asked, a playful smirk on his face.

"oh my God yeah!" CC exclaimed. "he tried getting onto Andy and Sammi was videoing it because she found it hilarious!"

"yeah" Jake laughed. "it was damn funny watching Andy's expression while one of his best friends tried to molester him"

Close your eyes, but don't dream too deep,
and please pass me, some memories.

The two shared memories and thoughts of good times passed as the time rolled on. Before they realised what was going on, CC began to struggle to breath. Jake felt the little colour he had left in his face rush to his feet as he began to panic.

"J-Jake" CC gasped, his grip on the guitarist's hand tightening greatly.

"CC! No! Please CC! Don't go yet!" Jake cried, panic fully setting in and tears beginning to fall.

Andy, Jinxx and Ashley had heard the commotion from outside. They'd been talking to the doctor when Jake cried out. The four rushed into the room. The doctor went straight to the machines and called for help. Three more doctors came in with equipment. Jake, Jinxx, Andy and Ashley stood at the edge of the room, silently watching to see what was happening.

The beeping kept getting faster and they could head CC's gasps getting shorter and shorter. Jake's tears were freely falling from his eyes at this point. Andy, Jinxx and Ashley were biting back cries and tears as they watched the doctors fight for their best friend's life.

But, the fighting was in vain.

The long, deafening beep signalled it was a battle they'd lost.

"n-no" Jake stuttered, stumbling weakly to the bedside. He took the drummers hand in his, shaking him softly. "CC! No! Wake up!"

"J-Jake," Jinxx breathed through falling tears. "h-he's gone"

"bullshit!" Jake cried, tears falling harder. "he's not gone! Not yet!"

"we're so, so sorry, Jake" the doctor said. "we tried everything. But the bleed didn't stop fully. It crushed his lungs and was too much for his heart to handle"

Jake spent the night by CC's bedside, crying hysterically and begging his lover to wake up. Andy, Jinxx and Ashley stayed for the comfort, but nothing got through to Jake. Jake forced himself to believe that CC would wake up.

The only emotion he could feel inside, was heartbreak,

And when I fall you're underneath,
A thousand broken hearts.
Carried by a thousand broken wings.

A month later, was CC's funeral.

He'd been dressed in his stage gear, war paint included. He was being buried with his lucky drum sticks in his hands and a small, lopsided smile on his face. The very same smile Jake had told the drummer he adored.

During the burial, Jake fell apart completely. He couldn't take knowing that his love was no longer there for him to hold onto. He couldn't take knowing the band would struggle to keep going without their lively, happy-go-lucky drummer. He couldn't take knowing that Christian 'CC' Mora breathed no more.

When they were allowed one last look at CC's face before the casket was closed, Jake laid a photo of the two of them over his heart. He'd scrawled the simple words 'I love you' over it in black sharpie marker.

The three damned words that could've saved this fucking heartbreak! Jake angrily thought to himself. He'd spent every day blaming himself for CC's death since the night of the accident. They were now back in Hollywood to bury him. They'd disappointed thousands of dedicated fans by cancelling the rest of their tour until further notice after breaking the news that CC was gone.

Jake struggled to form words as he gave a speech about how much CC had meant to him as a friend, band mate, brother and love. He cried hysterically into Ashley's chest as the drummer was lowered into the ground. The boys of Black Veil Brides couldn't keep back the tears as they watched their best friend and the heart and soul of the band get buried. They couldn't face saying goodbye. Not like this.

Even though he was unable to hear him, the final words Jake ever spoke to the drummer, were 'I love you'.

After the funeral, Jake was driving home with tears streaming down his face. His vision was blurring and he couldn't see, nor was he watching where he was going. He accidently changed lanes and collided with an oncoming eighteen wheeled lorry. The front of his shiny black Mercedes Benz was crushed.

Not long after the accident, Ashley was driving Jinxx and Andy home the same way. They pulled over when they saw the wreckage. Jinxx instantly recognised the car, but it was too late. Jake had died on impact. When he'd flung forward in his seat, his heart connected with his ribs at such a force, that the bones had punctured the organ.

A month later, the three remaining members of Black Veil Brides watched a second friend get buried and broke it to their fans that there would be no more Black Veil Brides, as it was too painful for them to continue without Jake and CC. Millions of fans world-wide were heart broken, but they understood why they couldn't go on.

The night after Jake's funeral, the three were laying on the grass in the back yard of the band house, looking up at the stars and discussing old times they remembered with Jake and CC. About how the two were so blind to the love they shared with each other. They'd gone through their stuff and sent a lot of it to their parents as memories of their lost sons. But they also kept a lot of it, mainly their instruments and stage gear.

As the three friends lay gazing at the stars, Ashley spotted shapes in the stars. His brows furrowed and he informed the younger two of his sights. The two agreed with what he saw.

"they're watching us, guys" Andy said softly, smiling slightly as he continued to watch the stars. "they'll always be watching us"

The shapes they saw, were in fact the figures of CC and Jake, hands linked and smiles wide. On their backs, were wings.

The two were finally happy and together. They may no longer be alive, but they're finally happy in love.

A thousand broken wings.
A thousand broken wings.