Status: Sorry to leave you hanging guys! The keyboard on my laptop is malfunctioning.
Stop Pretending That You're Sorry
45
It was just stress, I was sure of it. And worrying about it being pregnancy was only making it worse. It was stupid of me. John and I had been safe. Vinny and I hadn’t gotten to that stage in our relationship yet.
There was no way I could be pregnant.
Yet I still found myself pacing outside of the drugstore. I was too scared to go in and just buy a damn test. I was too worried it would be positive. Stupid, right? I was obviously just stressed because all of this shit with John and then my dad resurfacing in my mind.
This was stupid, and I would prove it to myself by buying a test and having it turn out negative.
I strolled into the store and completely lost my boost of confidence. It felt like my stomach had dropped out through my ass. Fuck.
I casually passed the family planning section, bypassing it for the tampons. Then I casually back tracked and got focused on some condoms. Anything to avoid the pregnancy tests sitting less than a few feet away.
Finally my lady balls dropped, and I managed to steer myself in the direction of the tests. I picked the cheapest one and hurried for the cashier, grabbing an iced tea and some chips on the way. Hopefully the bored looking blonde girl at the checkout wouldn’t notice the test amongst the other items.
Wait a second, that girl looked familiar. OH SHIT.
Julia? JULIA WORKED THERE? What the fuck?
Abort mission. Abort mission.
But it was too late.
“Hey! Regan! What’s up girly?”
Aw shit. I was about to be caught red handed. How was I supposed to explain that I was possibly pregnant with our history teacher’s child, only I wasn’t, I was just stressed. At least that seemed the more likely of the options.
Oh fuck. Why did these things happen to me?
I made my way towards Julia, quickly stuffing the pregnancy test in a nearby plastic urn. Some kind of Halloween decoration.
Thank heavens she didn’t notice. I would’ve been in deep shit then. The entire school would assume I was pregnant by tomorrow morning if Julia knew I was about to buy a pregnancy test.
“Not much, just buying some munchies. You?” I tried to play it cool, trying to keep my racing heart at bay.
“Totes bored here at work. This place sucks. Nothing interesting ever happens.”
“Shit. Sorry, man.”
She picked up the chips and scanned them, and then the iced tea and scanned that. All the while she wasn’t even really paying attention to what she was doing, she’d delved into some sort of dumb Julia story I was too preoccupied to listen to.
With a smile I waved my goodbyes and picked up my bag to leave. Great, now I had a bag of chips I had no appetite to eat and had made no progress on the pregnancy issue. Only I wasn’t pregnant. It was just stress. Right?
There was no way I could be pregnant.
Yet I still found myself pacing outside of the drugstore. I was too scared to go in and just buy a damn test. I was too worried it would be positive. Stupid, right? I was obviously just stressed because all of this shit with John and then my dad resurfacing in my mind.
This was stupid, and I would prove it to myself by buying a test and having it turn out negative.
I strolled into the store and completely lost my boost of confidence. It felt like my stomach had dropped out through my ass. Fuck.
I casually passed the family planning section, bypassing it for the tampons. Then I casually back tracked and got focused on some condoms. Anything to avoid the pregnancy tests sitting less than a few feet away.
Finally my lady balls dropped, and I managed to steer myself in the direction of the tests. I picked the cheapest one and hurried for the cashier, grabbing an iced tea and some chips on the way. Hopefully the bored looking blonde girl at the checkout wouldn’t notice the test amongst the other items.
Wait a second, that girl looked familiar. OH SHIT.
Julia? JULIA WORKED THERE? What the fuck?
Abort mission. Abort mission.
But it was too late.
“Hey! Regan! What’s up girly?”
Aw shit. I was about to be caught red handed. How was I supposed to explain that I was possibly pregnant with our history teacher’s child, only I wasn’t, I was just stressed. At least that seemed the more likely of the options.
Oh fuck. Why did these things happen to me?
I made my way towards Julia, quickly stuffing the pregnancy test in a nearby plastic urn. Some kind of Halloween decoration.
Thank heavens she didn’t notice. I would’ve been in deep shit then. The entire school would assume I was pregnant by tomorrow morning if Julia knew I was about to buy a pregnancy test.
“Not much, just buying some munchies. You?” I tried to play it cool, trying to keep my racing heart at bay.
“Totes bored here at work. This place sucks. Nothing interesting ever happens.”
“Shit. Sorry, man.”
She picked up the chips and scanned them, and then the iced tea and scanned that. All the while she wasn’t even really paying attention to what she was doing, she’d delved into some sort of dumb Julia story I was too preoccupied to listen to.
With a smile I waved my goodbyes and picked up my bag to leave. Great, now I had a bag of chips I had no appetite to eat and had made no progress on the pregnancy issue. Only I wasn’t pregnant. It was just stress. Right?