Status: Sorry to leave you hanging guys! The keyboard on my laptop is malfunctioning.
Stop Pretending That You're Sorry
51
There had to be some kind of mistake, John and I used a condom. Fuck. John. How would I tell him? What would that lead to? And what was I supposed to say to Tucci? Woops, sorry. Got pregnant with some other guy’s kid.
I was perched on the edge of my bed, my head cradled in my hands.
“So whose baby is it anyway?” Anthony asked, plopping down next to me.
“My history teacher’s,” I groaned.
“Goddamn, you little slut.”
“I know, right? Fuck. Anthony, I don’t want to deal with this.”
“So you want an abortion?”
I pulled my head out of my hands and stared at him. That was an option I had never even considered.
Just the brief thought of it brought back all the pain and grief of my mother abandoning me. It made me feel sick. I would never, I could never. It wasn’t an option. In my opinion the only option was raising this baby, whether I was on my own or not. Fuck my future, I had someone else to worry about.
“No.”
I got up off the bed and headed out the door. A nice walk was well needed to clear my head and come up with a plan of action. I’d already decided to keep the baby, with or without John’s help. There was no point trying to hide my situation from John or Gavin. I could always sleep with Tucci and pretend it was his baby. Okay, yeah that was a dumb idea.
The best route would just be to outright tell them. John first then.
I took a seat on a nearby bench at a bus stop and dialed John’s number, but I didn’t hit send.
It was hours before I finally realized what I was doing and that it had started raining. The sun was already setting. Finally I pressed the green call button.
There were two rings before he answered.
“Regan? Is everything okay?”
“Kind of. I need to talk to you.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“No this is something that should be said in person.”
“Oh, Regan, I’m kind of in the middle of something right now.” Later I would find out that he was on a date with Cayleigh.
“Please, it’s serious.”
“Alright, alright, where are you?”
“The bus stop on Chestnut Street.”
“Alright, I’ll be there in half an hour.”
I was perched on the edge of my bed, my head cradled in my hands.
“So whose baby is it anyway?” Anthony asked, plopping down next to me.
“My history teacher’s,” I groaned.
“Goddamn, you little slut.”
“I know, right? Fuck. Anthony, I don’t want to deal with this.”
“So you want an abortion?”
I pulled my head out of my hands and stared at him. That was an option I had never even considered.
Just the brief thought of it brought back all the pain and grief of my mother abandoning me. It made me feel sick. I would never, I could never. It wasn’t an option. In my opinion the only option was raising this baby, whether I was on my own or not. Fuck my future, I had someone else to worry about.
“No.”
I got up off the bed and headed out the door. A nice walk was well needed to clear my head and come up with a plan of action. I’d already decided to keep the baby, with or without John’s help. There was no point trying to hide my situation from John or Gavin. I could always sleep with Tucci and pretend it was his baby. Okay, yeah that was a dumb idea.
The best route would just be to outright tell them. John first then.
I took a seat on a nearby bench at a bus stop and dialed John’s number, but I didn’t hit send.
It was hours before I finally realized what I was doing and that it had started raining. The sun was already setting. Finally I pressed the green call button.
There were two rings before he answered.
“Regan? Is everything okay?”
“Kind of. I need to talk to you.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“No this is something that should be said in person.”
“Oh, Regan, I’m kind of in the middle of something right now.” Later I would find out that he was on a date with Cayleigh.
“Please, it’s serious.”
“Alright, alright, where are you?”
“The bus stop on Chestnut Street.”
“Alright, I’ll be there in half an hour.”