Status: Sorry to leave you hanging guys! The keyboard on my laptop is malfunctioning.
Stop Pretending That You're Sorry
52
A familiar blue BMW rounded the corner, pulled to the side, and out hopped Mr. H, holding a hand above his head in attempt to block the rain. He joined me on the bus stop bench. I stared straight forward, not making eye contact, not acknowledging him.
“Regan, what is it?” There was definitely a line of worry in his voice. “Are you okay? Did he hit you again.” John slowly reached out to brush my cheek where scars from Anthony’s last rage hadn’t healed and probably never would.
“I’m pregnant.”
That threw him for a shock. His hand dropped from my face and sunk into his lap where nervously kneaded it against his other. One hand broke away and reached up to run a hand through his wet hair.
“And it’s mine?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“There’s no possible way it could be Gavin’s?”
“Well judging by the fact that we haven’t had sex yet, I’d have to say no.”
He was quiet for a while, running his hands through his hair, across his face. All the while paying no attention to me.
“Fuck,” He finally muttered. “Oh fuck, I’m going to get fired. This is a disaster.”
“Don’t call our baby a disaster!” I snapped, jumping to my feet.
“Our baby? Fuck, Regan this is not the right time for either of us to have kids. Not to mention that all of this is completely illegal and I’ll be fired as soon as anyone finds out.”
“No one will,” I tried to assure him.
“How can you say that? When you show up looking like a whale people are going to ask questions. What are you supposed to say then?”
Tears were dripping down my cheeks. His voice was so harsh. What the fuck?
“I don’t know,” I sniffled.
“Look, I can understand if you don’t want to get an abortion, but adoption is probably the best option considering the circumstances.”
“No.”
“What?” He stared at me, his eyes looking extra blue.
“No. I refuse to give up my baby. If you don’t want to be involved, fine. Be a dead beat dad. I don’t give a fuck. I will devote my life to this child, because it’s not just my life anymore now is it?”
And with that I spun on my heels and went racing down the sidewalk, trying to get as far away from John as fast as I could. Rain drops were beating me in the face, but I kept running. My shoes sloshed through puddles deep enough to soak the ankles of my pants. I kept running. I could hear his footsteps behind me. I was outright sobbing now, sucking in deep breaths as I ran.
“Regan! Wait!” He was following after me. Keeping good pace for running in a suit and dress shoes in the pouring rain.
Finally my lungs couldn’t take it anymore, neither could my legs, I collapsed with my back against a tree. It was merely seconds before John caught up with me.
I sucked in a shaky breath. “Where were you tonight?”
He didn’t answer.
“You were with her, weren’t you? I knew it, you bastard.” And then I got in his face, tired of dealing with this bullshit and slapped him.
“Regan, what is it?” There was definitely a line of worry in his voice. “Are you okay? Did he hit you again.” John slowly reached out to brush my cheek where scars from Anthony’s last rage hadn’t healed and probably never would.
“I’m pregnant.”
That threw him for a shock. His hand dropped from my face and sunk into his lap where nervously kneaded it against his other. One hand broke away and reached up to run a hand through his wet hair.
“And it’s mine?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“There’s no possible way it could be Gavin’s?”
“Well judging by the fact that we haven’t had sex yet, I’d have to say no.”
He was quiet for a while, running his hands through his hair, across his face. All the while paying no attention to me.
“Fuck,” He finally muttered. “Oh fuck, I’m going to get fired. This is a disaster.”
“Don’t call our baby a disaster!” I snapped, jumping to my feet.
“Our baby? Fuck, Regan this is not the right time for either of us to have kids. Not to mention that all of this is completely illegal and I’ll be fired as soon as anyone finds out.”
“No one will,” I tried to assure him.
“How can you say that? When you show up looking like a whale people are going to ask questions. What are you supposed to say then?”
Tears were dripping down my cheeks. His voice was so harsh. What the fuck?
“I don’t know,” I sniffled.
“Look, I can understand if you don’t want to get an abortion, but adoption is probably the best option considering the circumstances.”
“No.”
“What?” He stared at me, his eyes looking extra blue.
“No. I refuse to give up my baby. If you don’t want to be involved, fine. Be a dead beat dad. I don’t give a fuck. I will devote my life to this child, because it’s not just my life anymore now is it?”
And with that I spun on my heels and went racing down the sidewalk, trying to get as far away from John as fast as I could. Rain drops were beating me in the face, but I kept running. My shoes sloshed through puddles deep enough to soak the ankles of my pants. I kept running. I could hear his footsteps behind me. I was outright sobbing now, sucking in deep breaths as I ran.
“Regan! Wait!” He was following after me. Keeping good pace for running in a suit and dress shoes in the pouring rain.
Finally my lungs couldn’t take it anymore, neither could my legs, I collapsed with my back against a tree. It was merely seconds before John caught up with me.
I sucked in a shaky breath. “Where were you tonight?”
He didn’t answer.
“You were with her, weren’t you? I knew it, you bastard.” And then I got in his face, tired of dealing with this bullshit and slapped him.