ronnie radke fanfic

William and Michael ran excitedly through the bus, looking through drawers, bunks, benches, even in the bathroom, until finally, they returned to the front lounge and stood by the table. William had his hands behind his back. I raised an eyebrow.

“Guess what?” William said, grinning.

“I don't know,” I said, tossing an orange between my hands. “But I assume you're going to tell me.”

William's grin grew bigger, if that was even possible, and he moved his hands from behind his back, putting them out in front of him. I looked at him.

“A video camera?” I asked, my head tilted to the side.

Michael's face changed to what I think was false shock. “Not just any video camera.”

“This is the camera we use for TAITV,” William said, holding it up in front of him like it was something that needed worshiping.

“TAITV?” I asked, jumping down off the counter I was sitting on, putting the orange down on the table, making sure my fingerless gloves were in place. I went over and snatched the camera out of William's hand. He scowled at me.

“It's our internet show,” Michael said, and when I stared at him blankly he added “We film stuff. Backstage, on the tour bus...”

“See you!” I said, jokingly, throwing the camera to them and pretending to run off the tourbus, but turned around before reaching the door.

“Don't worry, we're not going to be filming now,” William said, opening a drawer and placing the video camera inside before closing it again.

The door behind us, that led to the bunk area, opened and Craig, Adam Siska from The Academy Is..., Will and Parker walked into the front lounge.

“Why so sad?” I asked Will, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

“He's a sore loser!” Craig called over “I beat him at every video game.” He grabbed the orange that I had put down on the table. “Hope you don't mind, but I'm eating your food.”

“What's new?” Adam Siska said and Craig shrugged, looking around for a knife to cut the orange.

I turned to Will and Parker. “Where's Skylar and Adam?”

“Helping Drew bring all the merch stuff back to the bus,” Will said, glancing at his watch. I looked over at the clock on the wall of the bus.

“We should probably get back to our bus,” I said. “We're leaving this place tonight.”

“Yeah, let's blow this joint!” Will said loudly, glaring at Craig over my shoulder.

“Let it go!” Parker said, pushing him towards the door as I laughed.

We said our goodbyes and left the bus. As we walked back to our bus, I yawned a few times.

“Are you okay?” Parker asked, just as I was opening my mouth to yawn again. I looked over at him and he seemed concerned.

“I'm fine,” I lied, looking away. That morning, when I returned to the bus, they were all still asleep and hadn't even noticed I'd left.

“You've been doing that all day,” Parker said “You've been yawning every five seconds. Why are you so tired?”

“I'm fine” I repeated.

We came to our tourbus. Parker sighed. “If you say so.”

I stepped into our tourbus and sat down onto the bench, curled up on the comfy seat.

“Movie?” Skylar said, appearing from the bunk area, followed by Adam and Drew. I nodded and allowed them to choose a movie, being too lazy to get up. I could hear our tour manager on the phone in the back lounge. Drew flopped down next to me and let out a breath. I laughed.

“Rough day?” I asked Drew, looking over at the guys. They were argueing over what movie to watch. Parker was trying to find something we would all agree on.

“You guys have suddenly gotten hundreds of new fans or something,” Drew said, shaking his head.

“And how is that a bad thing?” I asked, elbowing him lightly.

“It's not for you,” Drew said, moving his head so a movie that was thrown across the room hit the back of the bench. “But it is for me. There are kids constantly at the merch table and no one sticks around to help me!”

“Oh, well I'm sorry I have to get up on stage every day and do my job,” I said, sarcastically. “From now on, I'll do your job as well as my own. Sound good?”

“Sounds great!” Drew said and I rolled my eyes, laughing slightly.

The guys finally agreed on what to watch and they all ran over, trying to get a seat on the cosy bench. Skylar and Will ended up on the floor.

“Play!” Skylar said loudly, pressing the button on the remote. We all sat back, quiet now, and watched the movie.

_____________________________________________________________________

Ronnie sat on the bench, the bench where Emily had been sitting with him earlier, and slowly peeled the plastic off the CD he bought earlier. He threw the plastic into the bin. The soft hum of the bus as it moved, bringing them to the next location, and the guys playing video games in the back lounge were the only sounds in the air.

Ronnie went into the bunk area, where he could clearly hear the guys cursing and talking loudly over the sound of whatever video game they were playing. Ronnie found his MacBook and brought it back into the front lounge. He slid the CD into it and turned the volume up so he could hear it over the noise the guys were making. The first song started, the opening riff familiar. Ronnie sat back and picked up the album again. He stared at the cover as he listened to the music.

“Go ahead, destroy what's left. If there's anything left at all. It can't let me down if I'm already off the cliff and halfway down.”

Ronnie smiled as Emily's amazing voice blocked out all the other sounds. He bought the CD earlier that day. While the rest of the guys were hanging out with other bands, Ronnie went to the Broken Colours merch tent and bought their full-length CD.

Ronnie opened the album and slid out the cover, opening it, looking through the notes. The thank-you's were quite simple for most of the band. They thanked family, friends... But Ronnie froze when he saw Emily's thank-you's.

First of all, I would like to thank God. Now, I want to thank my mom. Thank you for everything. I hope you're proud of me. I love you and miss you but I know you're always with me. Rest in peace.

Ronnie stared at that for a moment. He had no idea her mom was dead. He thought about that for a moment as the music played on. Then he frowned and looked back to Emily's thank-you's. He scanned through them quickly. The rest was thanking the other band members, who he now knew the names for, and people involved in the production of the CD and the fans. But there was no mention of any other family.

Confused, Ronnie slid the cover back into the album, closed it, set it aside and sat back in the chair, thinking. Eventually, he sighed and just listened to the music.

________________________________________________________

I had the nightmare again that night.

My eyes snapped open and I started shaking although it wasn't even cold. My hands were clenched into fists around the sheets and I quickly loosened my grip. I could feel the cold sweat on my skin and my body felt numb.

After a few minutes, I was brave enough to jump out of my bunk, surrounded by darkness. I managed to make my way to the front lounge and I sat on the bench, grabbing cushions and blankets for warmth. I looked up at the wall and tried to make out the time. Four o' clock. Meaning I had about three or four hours sleep last night. Great.

I didn't turn on the light. I wanted to see if I could actually stop being afraid of the dark. I tried to distract myself, listening to the soft hum of the bus as it moved. I glanced down at my hands, trying to make out the dark red marks. No one had seen them. I had been wearing fingerless gloves all day.

The wind seemed to be getting louder and I flinched, wrapping the blankets around me. The guys' snoring reassured me, though, so for a few minutes I stayed sitting in the dark. But eventually I jumped up and ran over to the lightswitch, flicking it on. I felt like such a loser, being afraid of the dark. The good thing was that the guys never made fun of me for it. I thought of when I told Ronnie. He didn't make fun of me about it.

I closed my eyes before the light came on so it wouldn't hurt my eyes. When I opened them I remembered opening my eyes the day before to see Ronnie and felt myself wanting to see him again. But this time, I opened my eyes to see nothing but the furniture in the front lounge and I sighed sadly, sitting back down, prepared to wait until someone else woke up so I would not have to sit here alone.