Give Me Love

As night struck, my anxiety over this whole Zayn and I sleeping together thing just seemed to grow larger and larger. I had literally hoped with every single fiber of my being that Lou nor Harry mentioned anything of the “news” to Zayn. I really didn’t feel like having to explain my stupid actions towards him.

I debated all day on going over to Lou and begging and pleading for him to not say anything, but if I did that it would only make me look more suspicious. As for Harry, although he could be quite devilish with his jokes, I didn’t feel he would actually stoop to the level of telling Zayn what I had said. Harry knew about how all the boys joked and how it was somewhat awkward, and it’s not like he believed the rumours with us anyways. That was only for Louis and Niall to ponder on about.

Suddenly hearing a certain someone’s footsteps leading up the stairs, in which I instantly knew it was Zayn because I could tell the boys’ footsteps apart, I immediately just wanted to turn invisible. I didn’t understand why this was such a big deal and why I felt so guilty about what I had said, but I just wished I was able to take it back.

It would probably be the fear of rejection, for lack of better words. Since Zayn had seemed too bothered by the teasing today, what would his reaction be if Louis told him we had allegedly had sex? I just didn’t want to hear his opposition or even steal a glance at his response.

Cringing a bit and hoping he would skip past my room, I silently begged him and his quiff would just mosey down the hall and go fall into a deep slumber. However, I also did somewhat hope he would come in and act regular just so that I could be reassured Lou hadn’t gone blabbering his mouth, trying to be funny.

As Zayn strutted pass my room, I let out a sigh I didn’t even realize I had been holding in. But of course within a matter of five minutes, just when I thought the coast was clear, it wasn’t.
“Hey babe, how did the rest of your night go?” I heard Zayn from behind me, plopping onto my bed.
I pinned my eyes shut, hoping this could be like a regular conversation between us and nothing awkward would happen or come out of it.

I opened my eyes and tried keeping my cool, “It went well, a little bit of running around to do but everything was finally settled. What about you?”

Stupid question, on the account that it was now 3AM, that meant only one thing for Zayn Malik. Partying.

“Genuinely good fun, even got a fit girl’s number,” he said winking at me, nudging my shoulder with his slightly. “Her name’s Kendall, and she’s such a babe”

“Great. If you plan on bringing her back to the house, make sure to keep the volume quiet, yeah? Don’t need to be hearing your business through these paper walls,” I joked, raising my eyebrows at him with a seductive look.

He tutted and bumped his shoulder into mine but started laughing.

“Well, I’m off to bed now. Night, Ef,” Zayn said, kissing my cheek and hopping off of my bed and out of my room.

As I heard Zayn’s door shut, I sighed, thankful that nothing was mentioned to him and that I was in the clear. Wouldn’t be having to explain myself to him or any of the stupid rumours I had let slip out of my mouth.

Then again, out of nowhere, I heard more footsteps coming towards my room and in popped Louis.
“Fuck, Lou. I was scared shitless, why are you up so late? Or early I guess is the correct term,” I said, quite startled.

He came over and jumped onto my large bed laughing, “I knew it. He just came out of your room, what happened?”

“Nothing, Lou. Nothing has ever and will never happen between us. Please just get it through your thick skull we’re just really good friends, and that’s that,” I said, trying to sound as stern as possible. I couldn’t even give a shit less if I came off like a bitch at this point, I just couldn’t let things get all twisted because of stupid words I’d said. I couldn’t let Zayn know I let my insecurity get the best of me and I blurted that out of frustration.

“Don’t worry, Effy, it’s not like I plan on saying anything to him. I just guess I can see it better than you do. You guys were meant for each other, I just sort of believe in it. The way the fans ship things, I guess I ship you and Zayn. Zeffy. You’ve got to admit, it’s got quite a ring to it,” he said smiling.

“While the name is genuinely unique, it’s not going to have any effect on the fact Zayn and I are friends, and you’ve just got to believe that. It is what it is, and between you and I, he gets touchy and offended when you all bring it up,” I admitted, thinking maybe if he knew how Zayn felt he would back off more. Once again, my stupid plan backfired and only set him up with more “evidence” on his part.

“He doesn’t get offended, why would he be offended? He gets shy and embarrassed because he knows I’ve got him figured out. He might not be shy when it comes to strangers and a casual fuck, but he is shy when it’s someone he really cares about. He’s private with that stuff, it’s his business and he doesn’t usually blab about it the way others would,” Louis finalized, which was partly true.

Zayn was quite private about certain things; he would choose what he wanted show and kept his emotions on lock. It was quite hard to read him and you never truly would know what was going on inside that head of his unless you were in it.

“It doesn’t prove anything, Louis. He just got done telling me about how he met this beautiful girl Kendall, so that’s it. We’re not together, I’d start shipping Zendall now because it’s going to happen, Zeffy isn’t,” I smiled at him.

He tutted and stood up and stood by the door, “I’m not going to publicly tease anymore, but just know that it doesn’t mean I still don’t think it should happen.”

And with that he was out of my door and off back to bed, I would suppose.

I laid down on my bed and just pondered everything for a good ten minutes. I was so thankful Lou hadn’t let anything slip to Zayn about my rash comment and that he wasn’t going to. It would be good for us and maybe Zayn would end up feeling more comfortable.

With the good thought in my head, I let myself relax and drift off into sleep.



“Effy, darling, wake up,” I heard a soft voice cooing at me. I grumbled a few words and tossed to my other side, being bothered by the light that was trying to seep in under my eyelids.

“BOO!” I heard Liam yell, and then I felt a good couple of gallons of freezing cold water hit me. I jolted awake instantly screaming, “LIAM WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”

“Payback sucks, doesn’t it?” He smirked at me, Harry laughing at his side on his feet crumbled into a ball.

I decided to play it cool and make it act like I wasn’t even bothered. I could tell this was going to start a real prank war between Liam and I.

“It is, but now that we’re even let’s settle this with a hug, shall we?” I stood up, gesturing my arms out towards Liam going to press myself to him and get him as drenched as I was. He ran off before I could catch him though, and Harry was wiping the tears from his eyes from laughing too hard.

As I turned back to him, he only started in again, probably taking in my sight. Just woken up and probably looking like a shaggy wet dog, I decided to run over to Harry and give him a big hug.

“No, get off of me!” He laughed, still not stopping.

“I just love you so much, come here, let’s go into my bed as well,” I said chuckling a bit and pushing him into my soaking wet bed that might as well have been a river.

We were both hysterically laughing and soaked and I was pressed on top of Harry. I looked down and smiled at him, seeing his adorable dimples and his lips curved up smiling back at me.

Oh no. Why was I thinking like this.

Suddenly, Louis popped his head and in said, “Zeffy” only audible for Harry and me. I felt Harry tense up slightly beneath me and lean up a bit saying, “Louis, fucking quit it. She said it’s not true and that there’s nothing there. She made one joke, stop bugging her about it.”

“Harry, it’s fine calm down,” I said, moving myself sitting next to him instead of on top of him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

“Woah mate, relax, no need to get touchy, all I did was give what I’ve been saying about them a name. Zeffy. It’s got a catchiness to it, see you guys later,” Louis smiled as he walked off.

Harry shook his head and said, “I’m sorry he teases you about that stuff. You know Liam, Niall, and I don’t actually believe it. Niall goes along with it because he likes to poke fun, Liam usually doesn’t and I never have besides poking at you about it yesterday, which I had no business doing. I’m sorry.”

“Harry, relax, you’re thinking too into this. It’s fine, really it’s all fine,” I smiled at him, pressing my hand to his cheek.

“Do you really though?” He questioned, looking up at me under his eyelashes.

“Do I really what? I can’t read your mind, Harry,” I chuckled, crossing my arms over my chest, suddenly realizing I had worn a white tank top to bed.

“Really like him? Do you and Zayn actually have a thing?” He asked, pretty quietly, probably not wanting anyone to hear this conversation.

“Harry, I would think you of all people in this house would know first. I would have told you by now, no Zayn and I don’t have a thing. Like I said to Louis, Zayn and I have never and will never have a thing. He came into my room and went on and on about some girl Kendall and about how fit she was. There’s nothing there between us,” I said, feeling like I had explained this a million times.

“Whatever you say, I believe you. I’m taking your word for it obviously,” he said, smiling again and then continuing, “Now I think it’s time we go get some new clothes, yeah?”

“I guess so,” I giggled, jumping on Harry and giving him one last hug and then standing up.

He gleamed his beautiful smile over at me and then he was out the door.

I let myself sit on my lake of a bed for a second to just contemplate the moment, if I could even call it that, that Harry and I had on my bed. Seriously, what was that?

I was confusing myself and not knowing what to think. First, it was the mishap with Zayn about feeling like I wasn’t good enough and now it was those thoughts about Harry.

Maybe I was lying to myself about everything, I did have a knack for blocking problems out until they were solved or just suddenly disappeared. Who knew what I was doing?

I strolled into the bathroom and turned on the warm water. I removed my extremely damp clothing and stepped into the heat of the shower, hoping the warm water would do my body good and heat me up and set aside my worries with my current confusions.