Stay with Me

Garrett's absence has been bearable because he calls regularly, and work keeps me busy. It's been a month now and I'm back in shape. Driving to deliver cakes, planning with Lacy with catering, which we will do two days from now. Since the wedding, catering services has been indemand. For kid's parties, 16th birthdays, graduation parties, and the like. Our next customer is an 18 year old birthday celebrant. She wants to celebrate her legality with a party. She ordered 1 thousand cupcakes, and a big cake.

"Stella, make sure everything's fine with the delivery a while ago please" I asked the intern who I just care to know the name just now.

"Sure, uhm Nike, Lacy wants you to check this papers out" she said, I accepted the papers and went to the office to study them. It's actually expenses the shop made this month, the first week I wasn't even in. Why would Lacy wants me to check this thing out? I am not a lousy student but I just don't like math. I suck at math. I fished my phone from my pocket to call Lacy.

"Hey, did you got the papers I asked them to show it to you" she said, as I gave out a defeated sigh.

"What am I suppose to do with it?" I asked, scolding at the papers infront of me.

"Well, compute this month's expenses and earnings" she answered casually, one thing I learned from my dad is never argue with your boss.

"Well, I am not really good in math..." I trailed off, resting my head on the table.

"Oh. Well, can you get someone do it? I need it by thursday. Oh shit gotta go" she said hanging up. Great. Wonderful. Fantastic.

I went out of the office and stayed at the cashier for a while, thinking about the task in hand. I am sure it'll be simple math, but the thought itself makes me want to barf. The moment I thought about barfing, the door opened and a guy with a brown hair, hazel eyes and wide grin went in.

"What do you want Nate?" I asked, slumping my shoulders.

"I'm not sure that's how you greet a costumer.." He said, walking near me. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat.

"Seriously..." I asked, eyeing his every move.

"Well, I'll be going back to college next we-"

"What are you taking up?" I interrupted him as I thought about the craziest idea ever.

"Business Management. Why?"

"Are you good in math?" Nate gave me a foolish grin and nodded. "I need a favor.." I added, Nate went closer and gave me a smile. Showing me his white teeth.

"What is it babe?" He said winking as he lean over the counter

"Two favors actually, first don't call me babe. Second, can you do the math for the shop's expenses and earnings. Lacy asked me and I hate math." I said, his eyes went bright and his foolish grin never left his face.

"One condition-"

"No funny business" I interrupted him.

"No funny business, just dinner...no funny business I promise!" He said, I thought about it for a while before I nodded.

"See you on friday then?" He said, as he was about to leave.

"Hey! The papers are due on thursday!" I said, he stopped and gave me a puzzled look.

"We'll do it tomorrow then. My place your place?" He asked, I analyzed his face before answering making sure he meant well. I am not the cheating type.

"My place. 8 pm. Bring dinner." I said as I let him go. I watch him happily drive away. That boy has gone nuts, what I was thinking when I actually thought he's cool in the first place.

I fished my phone to call Garrett but figured he won't answer, he's probably still sleeping, and I was right. I was redirected to the voice mail.

"Hey babe, it's me. You know how I hate math right? Well Lacy just asked me to do the math for the shop and I was looking for someone to help me and I found one. We'll be working on it tomorrow and we'll have dinner on friday.........okay, fine I can't stand this...guilt, I asked Nate okay and he said yes and I was desperate and-"

"Wait, you're gonna go out with Nate?!" He cut me off, his voice was dry maybe from sleep.

"I thought you're sleeping?" I asked, diverting the topic.

"I thought we're together?" He asked, pain shot across my chest.

"We are Gar, it's just a dinner, I asked for a favor and I was desperate, please don't let me do math alone..." I said, my voice frustrated as I hear him breath on the other line.

"Why him? There's tons of people out there to help you..."

"Yeah? Like who? He happens to go to college for this kind of things and he happened to stopped by a while ago to uhm buy some er cupcakes" I lied on the last part to attempt to finish the topic.

"Whatever, fine. Do what you want." I heard him snapped. Why is he acting like an asshole? I'm asking him nicely, I didn't even think I need permission to do my job!

"Stop being a jerk Garrett" I said, standing up as the other intern looked at me. I went to the office and sat on the chair.

"A jerk? I just said you can do what you want!" He said, his tone rising.

"You don't trust me don't you?" I asked, my voice quiet, I bit my lower lip as I wait for his response.

"It's not like tha-"

"Then what's the problem Gary? You don't have to be jealous everytime I interact with other guys. We're together." I said, resting my head on my hands.

"I just don't trust Nate..." He said, he doesn't trust every guy I happen to talk to? Wow this guy have some trust issue.

"But you trust me right?" I asked... The other line went quiet and I gave out a deep sigh. "You're unbelievable." I said banging my head on the table.

"it's not like I worry that you're gonna cheat... But-"

"But what Garrett?! Didn't I just said we're together? Garrett I love you, I wouldn't do anything stupid why. are. you. being. so. arrogant?!" I snapped back my tone rising as well... The other line went quiet and my chest was filled of pain, Garrett really thinks I might cheat on him?

"I'm not being arrogant Nike, I know for once that you don't even know the difference when someone flirts with you, I like you, a lot, and being away makes everything hard for me. You're not ugly people likes you all the time and you just can't take away jealousy from me"

"First of all, I would not cheat on you Gary, why would you think about that. We've been bestfriends first right? And you know that I wouldn't cheat...please stop worrying..."

"I miss you" he said, as I felt him letting go of the topic. I still feel sad about him not trusting me cause I trust him. With all my heart.

"I miss you more Gary, and you do know that I trust you right?"

"Right. I gotta go. Love you" he said hanging up even before I said I love you too.

&&

Vader's weight doubled since the boys went on tour, and the veterinarian told me that I should get her to go for walks. We do it every other night, since I have work in the morning and the Arizona sun would be unbearable for the two of us. I laced my rubber shoes as I let Vader get excited over her leash.

"Vader, calm the fuck down" I hissed when he knock out the remote control. She looked at me once before she stopped. "Good girl" I said patting her head. Tonight's walk wouldn't be long since I have a meeting with Nate in exchange of what I asked him to do. Garrett have decided to let go of the topic and just call the favor as a meeting. Lacy was happy about it too, because the papers were perfectly done.

I grabbed my phone and a water bottle as I drag Vader to go out of the apartment. The night sky relaxes me. Arizona's warm air relaxes me. I have no idea why I just decided to do this now. Vader and I walked silently, watching every car pass by, stopping whenever she has to pee. She enjoys walking too, she looks at me whenever she's gonna try something new, as if seeking for my approval. So this is what motherhood feels like, or so the less excruciating version. Feelings flood inside me whenever I think about having a family with Garrett. I'll take care of him and our future kids. It'll be awesome.

"Yellow?" I answered my vibrating phone as Vader and I reach the apartment, I have put an end to our walk. She was thirsty and I just wasted a bottle of water trying to make her drink.

"Hey I'll pick you up in 30 minutes." Nate's voice replied. I rolled my eyes and went to my room as I let Vader do whatever she wants. I wore a brown dress that match my hair and a native american flat boots. I didn't wear any make up as I walk out of my room to make Vader her dinner even before Nate knock on my door.

"No chickens Vade, poppa will get mad" I told the puppy as I hand her squash and some rice. "Your poop reeks too, we need you to eat more dog food" I said as I watch her munch on her food. That's when I heard Nate's knock. I went for the door and gave him a light smile.

"Ready to go?" He asked me, I asked her to wait as I grabbed my purse and gave Vader more water before leaving.

"Where are we suppose to go?" I asked him, ever since he made the math, I became easy on him.

"Just wait." He said as he started the ignition to his black pick up truck. The ride was quiet and no one's talking, I stared at the window, making a mental note that we're passing by the isolated places in this part of town. Making another mental note that I shouldn't have not worn a dress, if ever he's gonna kill me, I don't want to show my panties while I ran for my life. And then another mental note about how I should first kick him in his balls before running so I could have a head start. My mind was filled with escape plans as he pulled over an isolated place. In the middle of dessert.

"Don't kill me, too young to die." I murmured to myself as he opened the door.

"We'll have dinner there" he said pointing at the back of his pick up truck. I snorted and went up to sit comfortably, looking at the sky, as I imagine that Garrett's looking at it too.

To: GARRETT

Look at the sky, I'm looking at it too. Miss you.

I hit send as soon as I felt Nate's weight on the other end of the truck. He smiled at me as he set up the things, a laptop, 2 big pizza and pillows.

"This is comfortable" I said as he hand me 2 pillows, he played a movie on the laptop and we were laughing at it in the middle of nowhere. I am actually having fun with Nate. Just like when we went out for a date. We watched this asian movie that's suppose to be horror.

"This is shit." I exclaimed as the movie finished. Nate laughed and agreed.

"You look lovely by the way. You're like snow white or something" he said, as he took a bite of his pizza, I felt my face burn.

"Uhm thanks, hey can I borrow your laptop?" I asked, diverting the topic. He agreed and hand it to me. I stretch my legs and relaxed for a moment checking my twitter and replying to a couple of kids. Which is, a bad idea, of course because now, everyone expects me to reply. And I don't want to be labeled as snob. I'm not even on the band, why is these kids giving me attention.

'Do Garrett snore?' a girl asked, I smiled at myself as I replied 'sometimes when he's tired'. He does, and I just find it cute, vulnerable and in does nights I just hug him.

'Is it true you're cousins with Jared Monaco?' 'You have pretty hair' 'your skin is so beautiful, what's your secret?' 'How's Vader?' 'In a scale of 1-10 how much do you miss Garrett?' I answered all of the questions I can until I reach twitter limit, and by then Nate and I finished the two boxes of pizza.

"Enjoying yourself eh?" He asked, as he closed our gap. I nodded as he sat next to me, looking at the screen.

"Wow, you have a lot of uhm admirers..." He said as I read my mentions, questions were still coming and I am kind of glad that I'm on tweet limit because I'm tired answering them.

"Not mine, it's The Maine's fans" I said with humor.

"That figures, they're all girls..." He replied, I chuckled and refresh the page.

'I think my friend just had sex with your boyfriend lol' I read the latest tweet, even though it's probably a fantasy, I can't help but wonder, I scrolled down being aware of what I just read and it's not the first time the girl tweeted me.

I know I'm better than believing an internet rumor so I have decided to click on it. I visited the girl's profile and my eyes went wide when I saw her page full of mentions to me telling me that my boyfriend had sex with her friend. I heard Nate cleared his throat and I gave him a glare.

"She's just probably trying to....annoy you or something" he said, as he stared at the screen, his face was confuse and shocked. I know I mirrored his reaction.

"It won't hurt to look right?" I asked, as I scroll down to see her talking to another girl about talking to me.

"This is nerve wrecking, go on..." Nate said as I clicked on the girl's profile.

'Wendy. Ireland. Garrett Nickelsen took my virginity.'

That is what we saw on her about me section. I snorted and look at Nate, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"She's hot." He said, I want to hit him so bad.

"Well, I don't think it's true, I trust Garrett, this is just a joke." I said with humor as I look at her latest tweets. I feel like a stalker, it's kind of disturbing.

"I don't think so......." Nate's voice said, as he pointed at the small boxes that contains her latest photos. My heart dropped when I saw a picture of her and Garrett, maybe after the show, she was standing close to him and her boobs was close on his chest.

"That's just a uhm, a fan photo...." I said gulping the Arizona air as Nate clicked the 'see more' button. I didn't look at it first, I was busy catching my breath. Afraid that this might be all true. But I trusted Garrett, and I know him, he wouldn't cheat on me. He said he loves me.

"Uhm.....you might want to....." Nate interrupted my trance as he showed me another picture of 'wendy' with Garrett, well this time not only my heart fell, my everything fell. Every single cell organism on my body went cold and the Arizona weather said nothing on my stiffness as I stare into the screen. Garrett and the girl was kissing and they're both topless, the backround is a headboard of a bed. I stared at it, wishing that it would vanish, or find flaws in it, so that I can wish it's photoshop-ed.

"Nike, are you-"

"Can you drive me home?" I asked, as I stare into the picture, my body is still frozen and the shock stayed on my entire system. I grabbed my phone and took a photo of the photo for future reference. I felt my breathing being heavy, this can't be happening to me. This can't be happening to us. I trusted Garrett. I thought he loves me.

"Are you alright?" I heard Nate asked me again as he wipe something off my face. I have been crying I guess, I don't feel anything anymore. My mind was focused on one question. Why? I wouldn't have thought, of all people Garrett would do this to me. I want to shout, I want to cry, I want to bang my head on something so I can feel something. I feel so tired and I feel my heart breaking. The numbness is almost fading, as I stare into nothingness. Nate's voice ensuring me that everything will be okay echoed in my background as he continued driving.

His pleads and reassurance was flooded by my crying. I feel pathetic. All this time I believed that Garrett was the guy for me, the guy that cared for me so much he doesn't even want to have sex.

For once I actually believed in love. But it failed me, it turns out that the one I thought that I might have love just broke my heart. Sleeping with girls while he keeps on telling his girl that her virginity is too precious. I felt hands around me as Nate carried me to my apartment. He layed me on my bed and left me unbothered.

Maybe Garrett doesn't really wants me, maybe he was just being nice when he said that he likes me, maybe he just don't like me at all. Am I too fat for him? Am I too thin? Too pale? Maybe it's freckles I have on my thighs, maybe he thinks its disgusting. Or maybe he just thought I'm disgusting. I feel disgusting too so maybe that's it.

Like a cue, my phone rang and for some pathetic reason I just wanted it to be Garrett, I just wanted him to deny what I just saw. To tell me that it's just a lie. Vader barking on the other side of the door, I opened the door for her and she lunged at me, and as if hugging me. Licking every part of my body as if understanding my pain.

"He cheated on me baby" I muttered as I heard the dog whimpered. The words from my mouth made the whole situation more real, something out of a nightmare. A breaking sensation filled my chest, my arms, my stomach, my whole body felt pain as I continue crying, ignoring the buzz of my phone as I hug Vader and cry till my tears went dry.

"Why aren't you answering my calls?! I'VE BEEN CALLING FOR HOURS!" His voice boomed as I managed to answer the phone. The pain from my chest made me feel weak as I hear him talk.

"Are you there? Nike!" He asked, I tried talking, to ask him why but nothing happened. No sound went out of my mouth. I can't do it. I hang up and send him the photo I took earlier before throwing my phone on the other side of the room, startling Vader, as the tears that I thought went dry started to fill my face again. Why?