Stay with Me

*NIKE'S POV*

I promised to call Jared last week but I didn't, it's kind of a hanging promise. Dave and other doctors has been in and out quite a lot and I can feel that it's not good. Last week's been very confusing, his voice made everything sink, my heart, my soul, everything. I wipe the tears that I was not aware that's visible when I heard the door open. Garrett loved me, but why the heck did he do what he did, I know people make mistakes, but I didn't know learning from a mistake can be this painful. The doctor was looking at me with a confuse look.

"Is this a bad time?" He asked, I chuckled and shook my head, motioning for him to come in and do whatever he needs to do, and he did. Again, he checked my father, took a little blood and whatnot.

"Dave, it's been more than a month..." I told him the obvious, the doctor gave me a grieving look, that I mirrored.

"I've been doing everything I could Nike, he's been sleeping for a long time and the surgery can't be delayed any longer, his heart activity is doing very badly" he said, bad things are happening to me, I didn't do anything bad. Why is this happening to me.

"Thank you for being honest Dave..." I said, giving up. My body slumping itself on a chair, so my dad is really dying. Well that's charming, really. I feel A+

"I actually recommend mercy killing...it'll make everything faster..."He said walking towards me. Money is running and he's suffering I know but I can't just kill my father. That's like pure evil, that's worst than just watching him die.

"No, I will let things happen naturally, come on Dave, be positive for one second, I need it." I said resting my forehead on hands. I am such a fucked up.

"As much as I want to Nike, I just can't give you false hope. I know you've been through a lot-"

"You betcha doctor." I interrupted him. His blue eyes piercing my soul, just like Garrett. Great, how wonderful come on lord are you kidding me?

"I don't want to see a beautiful lady crying, weeping, I want you to be ready when that time happened. Okay?" He said tapping my shoulders, I stared at my father. It'll be weird and painful when he die. Then, I can prove that my luck is fewer than homer simpson's hair.

"There's no hope then?" I murmured, munching on my nails.

"There is, but the chances are slim"

"A slim hope. What does it drink? Diet coke?" I joked, trying to make a haiku. Dave chuckled and tapped my shoulder again as if asking me to look at him.

"Yes, something like that... I'll go for a while okay? Go say good bye" he said departing the room. My eyes fixed at the bed, the man laying on it. My eyes watery as I imagine him dead. This is too much to handle, to straight forward.

"I can't believe that this doctor is asking me to say good bye." I said, as I held my father's hand. "I mean, this won't be the last time a doctor 'did their best' when it comes to our family, we got some bad luck." I added, fighting back my tears as if I'm strong enough.

"Forgive me dad, I'm sorry if I've been such a bad daughter. I'm sorry for everything. I fucked up, I shouldn't have left you, I should have come back when you asked me to...I'm so sorry" I said, resting my head on his hand.

"I know you can hear me and I won't give up on you easily...so please don't give up on yourself so soon." My dad used to be the strongest, and to be honest, I need someone right now.

"But if you really need to go, don't forget to say good bye okay daddy? Because.....I just...you're my daddy and it'll be unfair if you just go without saying goodbye, that you loved me and you missed me" my tears blocked my sight and I rested my head on my father's hand letting my emotions flow through my body and my eyes close.

"You've been very strong sweetie" my father's voice echoed in the room and my eyes flew wide open, the living room was full of light and my dad was sitting by the fireplace.

"Dad??" I asked, confuse, my father is wearing a hospital suit and was smiling at me.

"Yes, baby. I missed you so much." He said opening his arms. I ran towards him, engulfing his familiar scent. I wasn't able to say anything, I just cried on his arms.

"Tell me about this boy of yours..." He said breaking the silence I snorted and laugh while crying, I didn't even know that was possible.

"He broke my heart daddy, let's not talk about him." I choked out.

"How are you coping up with everything? I'm sorry if I've been added to the weight of your worries" he said, cradling me like I was 4, tears kept escaping my eyes as he talked.

"Daddy, I'm so tired...of...everything."

"Now, baby I want you to be strong, because you'll need it. Promise me that you'll be stronger than what you are right now." He said, his voice was so strong, as if he's not suffering a worst condition.

"I'm so glad they let you out now daddy." I said, diverting the topic. My father laughed.

"They didn't, you did. I was just waiting for you, when you come around I was so happy I could just go you know...but you asked me not to so I staye-"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking at my father's face. His normal pale skin is now vibrant and full of color.

"I'm tired Nikey, I am so tired..." He said with a warm smile.

"I'm confuse...tired from what?"

"Holding on, I need to go sweetie. Your mother and Percy's been waiting for me" he said and that's where it hits me.

"No. No. No. This can't be, dad. Oh my go-"

"Don't use the name of the lord god in vain." He interrupted me, and tears started pouring from my eyes.

"I'm sorry for not being there..." I said, giving up.

"I'm sorry too, I love you okay. And stay where your heart is" he said standing up.
"Daddy!" I called out as started walking to the door, I ran for him but he seemed distant a faint sound came from the door when he opened it and it became louder than louder when he closed it.

My eyes flew wide open when I heard my father's heart machine went hysteric. I buzzed the nurse office and it was chaos in the room. Doctors where everywhere and I was at the corner, crying. My father is dead, and I can't believe he really said good bye. My father, my daddy, I am alone now. God, what's the worst thing that can happen to me? What else?

Joyce hugged me when Dave announced the time of death. 12:49 am. Joyce reeled me outside of the room to the hallway because she told me that other people should not see me there since the visiting hours was past from over. Tears are flowing from my eyes like a faucet. God has forsaken me. He hates me so much, I just know it now.

"It'll be okay..." Joyce said, I shook my head and continued crying. It was already 4 when Joyce told me she needs to go home. I was alone in the hallway, crying. People might even think I am a ghost. They have taken away my father's body and they asked me if I wanted him cremated, I said yes, but not right now. I want to give him a proper funeral, with all his body parts intact.

"It's 9 am..." I heard a man's voice said, I managed to look up to see a pair of blue eyes staring at me.

"Thanks for the warning" I said, my voice dry from crying.

"I left your father's room at 1 am, and I saw you sitting in the same spot. Come on let's have coffee." He said encouraging me to stand but I shook my head. I am so depressed to move a muscle.

"I need to do stuffs for my father's funeral." I said as I fished my phone to call a funeral parlor and asked them to arrange my house as soon as possible, and I called my father's immediate family, and his friends whom I know because I always see him smile when he's talking to them, and his lawyer to get his last will and testament ready. I was done by 4 pm, as they say news fly fast, as soon as I know it everyone's been pitying me. I dialed my cousin's number next, aware that he might be on a show. Making myself stronger, not to weep or sob when I heard his voice.

"Nike?"

"Jar? Jar dad's dead." I said, fighting back the tears.

"Where's the funeral?" He asked, his voice grim as mine.

"At our house..." I replied, begging him in my mind to come back home because I can't handle this alone.

"I'll be there as soon as possible Nike, don't worry. I'll see you soon."

"Faster..." I mumbled as I hang up the phone. I am so selfish, but I just can't handle this anymore. I can't face this depression alone again.

&&

By 5 pm the following day, I decided to get out of my bed and welcome the people from the funeral home. I watched them arranged the furnitures and put my father's casket in it's right place. The piano was placed near it for a nice ambiance. People started arriving then, and I asked a couple of girls from the funeral home to stay and serve the guests some drinks and crackers. People whom I don't know started arriving, offering their condolences, giving me envelopes. I didn't recognize anyone. My aunt and uncles will arrive the day after tomorrow, just before the cremation day. People were having conversations of their own and glancing on my father from now and then, some are crying, some are reminiscing. I didn't really talk to them much. It pains me that they seem to have a lot of memories with my father more than I do.

Lacy will be coming too, she'll be bringing Vader and I hope she'll lift the sadness in this household. I stared at the crowd from the stairs, and I spot him. I know that normally I would be mad at him but in some weird reason I am not, I am kind of thankful actually, that he gave me a heads up. He let me said good bye. Dave looked at me and gave me a warm smile.

"Nice house." He said when we were standing across each other.

"My mother designed this house." I told him, with a bit of admiration for my mom.

"Where is she?" He asked.

"He's with dad, and percy." I said pointing at the family portrait before the summer when they died.

"Oh. I am so sorry, I've been really reckless....how are you coping up?" He asked. I appreciate his kindness.

"I'll survive...Am I going to be alone later?" I asked, curious. I don't want to be alone.

"Don't you have friends? I'll stay with you but I have patients to attend" he said apologizing.

"No, no. I was just asking because it's not like everyone will be here till the morning, or something..." I said, looking at the crowd.

"Well, they won't be...don't you have friends that can stay with you tonight?" He asked, his blue eyes full of concern.

"My friends are either on tour or in Arizona" I replied, wishing that Lacy can come faster. I wish she had taken the plane and be here later.

"That's sad, I can stay if you want.."

"You have patients to attend Dave" I replied attempting to give him a smile.

"I'll call it a day off, a night will not make a difference. I'll stay until you're not alone again" he said with a warm smile.

"Thank you for being so nice"

"I owe you." He said, his blue eyes and his dark and neat hair stands out of his formal suit.

"How old are you?" I asked, just to break the silence.

"27. I graduated early" he said giving me a smile.

"I guessed so...my dad's been giving you a hard time?" I asked, sitting on the piano stool.

"Yeah, one of the most stubborn people I know.." He said, I smiled at him and feel the keyboard under my arms, it's been years since I last played a song. "You should try some medicine, you done look so good..." I heard him say.

"I'm on meds, I just forgot mine at home...but dad drinks the same thing so I'll just get some from him" I replied as I stare at the notes I picked, notes filled with my father's hand writing.

"You're anemic too?" He asked, sitting on the stool next to me. I nodded and gave him a smirk. The notes that was written on the paper was full of erasures and I have to concentrate before I can read it properly. I press the first note and I heard the room went quiet, the body next to me froze too. I played the rest of the notes and heard a beautiful melody, like no other. it's my father's. I looked at my father's body while I started playing it again, now with awareness of every chord. Maybe he didn't spaced out after all, maybe I was the one who spaced out. Maybe I was the one who pushed everyone away by not letting go of the past. The song ended with a short melody, fast paced but full of feelings.

The room was still quiet and I looked at the body next to me, he was staring at me. I looked at the crowd in my back and everyone is staring at me, some old women at back were even crying. I gave them a warm smile before I stood up and went infront of my daddy.

"That song was incredible, I hope I did justice..." I told him before kissing his cold forehead.

"That was beautiful" I heard a man say as I continue staring at everybody.

"That was my father's composition." I said with pride.

"I know, I helped him with that one. It's for you" he said, I managed to look at him. I know him, he's from my childhood

"Mr. Mrotek?" I asked before hugging him, he used to dine with us every friday, I remember because he used to give me gummy worms from under the table.

"We missed you..." He said, pulling me from our hug. His white hair is standing out and his eyes are puffy too, he's my father's best friend. I just know it. "How did you like the song?" He added.

"I thought it's perfect. Thank you. Thanks for staying with him when I'm out...which is always." I said, smiling.

"It's my pleasure, I just want to show you something" he said leading me upstairs to my father's office. Dad's familiar scent welcomed me, Mr. Mrotek went behind the table and fished out a shoe box.

"He's been writing to you too... I thought it'll be nice if you can read it." He said, handling me the box before leaving. I opened it to find tons of letters.

'I'm sorry if I can't play the piano, it reminds me of your mother....'

'I wish you'll be home a lot more, I know I've been a bad father for a couple of months but I've been trying to forget what happened....it's not easy but I'm managing, for the both of us'

'I'm sorry if I'm not home most of the time, it seems like when you're at home you're always mad at me and the last thing I want to see is you distancing away from em'

'Sweetie, I miss you, you should have given me a warning before going to college...'

Words filled my mind as I continued reading, dad didn't spaced out after all, I did. I was the one who couldn't forget, I was the one who didn't accept the fact that my mom and brother is gone. All this time I felt like he's useless, he's just trying to make me feel comfortable by not showing his face. It's true though, he's been very busy with work after the accident we barely have time together and I was so mad at him. My anger took the best out of me.

So this is the part where in I realize I've been a total jerk and my father's been an angel. Great. Thank you lord, I needed that. At least that's an assurance that he'll go to heaven. Hah- hello satan, see you soon.