Me,Myself and Life...Oh! And the Boy across the Road
Me,Myself and Life...Oh! And the Boy across the Ro
Monday 13th August
It was now 12.30pm. I had been awake for 45 minutes. In the time I’d been awake I’d discovered a note downstairs in the kitchen from my mother.
Annie, gone shopping with Marie. Don’t know how long
I’ll be. Libby stayed the whole night at Val’s last night,
not that you’ll remember! I went to get her this morning
but she refused to come, she wanted to play with Max and
John! Val said she’d drop her back at 1.00pm. Be ready!
Love Mom xxx
I felt disgusting when I woke up and I can hardly remember last night. I couldn’t even remember getting home! I guess I was more drunk than I thought I was. The one thing I remember vaguely was the conversation I had with Max and I regret it hugely. I really do like him but I’m not ready for another boyfriend, not after the last disastrous relationship I had. And if that wasn’t reason enough , I still hardly know Max! I wasn’t even going to think about how I would resolve this dilemma. I’m just going to avoid Max for a few days until I have the nerve to face him again.
In the note my mom left she said ‘Be ready!’. Being awake, showered and dressed in fresh, clean pyjamas was ready enough, in my opinion. Especially considering the hangover I was enduring today. I’d had some paracetamol to ease the thumping in my forehead and back of my skull, it hadn’t yet helped though. Jaz had left me a text telling me to ring her when I woke up, she’d obviously spoken to my mom sometime before I awoke. However, I had no intention of ringing her just yet. When I tell her what I’m planning to tell Max I can imagine what she will say to me. She’ll tell me I’m stupid for giving up a perfectly good chance of a relationship and that I’ll regret it for the rest of life and so on. Yes, that might be true, but I’m just not ready yet. Whether it’s with Max or some other ‘perfect’ boy.
I went downstairs and lay on the cool, chocolate brown leather of the sofa to make the most of my last 20 minutes of peace, before Libby came home. I turned on the TV and flicked it onto MTV, I was looking at the telly but I wasn’t watching it. I was still thinking about last night. I was certain that Max told me he liked me, but did he really? Did I dream it or did it really happen? This was one of the consequences of drinking alcohol. One minute you were sure something happened, even if you only remembered it vaguely. The next minute you were doubting yourself. If Max did tell me he liked me last night, was he just saying it? Was it the alcohol talking or was he just saying it because we were in his bedroom and he wanted certain events to take place? On the other hand, he could have actually meant it, I suppose. Either way it made no difference. I was adamant that I didn’t want a boyfriend or anything near the sort. After my last one I’d sworn that I wouldn’t have another one until I was at least at Uni and I had actually consented to agree with myself on that issue. At least I could ignore Max for a few days, until I’d plucked up the courage to tell him the truth anyway.
The sound of a child’s laughing and the doorbell sounding interrupted my thoughts. Ah, here she comes. I got up off the sofa reluctantly and made my way out into the hall way and to the front door. As soon as the door opened Libby came running in shouting, “Hello Annie Bananny! I’m just going to get something!” She went running through the kitchen into her playroom and started crashing around trying to find whatever she was looking for. I turned back to the door to invite Val in for a drink when I saw it wasn’t Val. Or John. No, of course it wasn’t either of them. My life couldn’t be fair to me and just let me have a few days to myself without having to see or speak to him! I suppose I should have known. The things in life you least want to happen always do. And I knew that from experience.
“Hi Anna”
“Hi,” I was suddenly immediately aware that I was standing in front of Max with damp, unmanaged hair wearing my pyjamas. Oh Joy!
I thought he would laugh at me, but he didn’t. I then wished that he had. It would have at least broken the uncomfortable silence between us. I was about to ask him in for a drink, out of politeness, but he spoke first. “I wanted to speak to you, if that’s okay?”
“Erm, yeah sure. I wanted to speak to you actually. Come in.” I stood back to let him pass but he didn’t move.
“I was actually hoping we could go for a walk, y’know? Libby’s gone to get some toy that she needs to show to my dad.” He smiled when he spoke of this. “So while she was at mine, I thought we could go for a walk.”
“Yep, okay. If you wanna take Libs back to yours and then come back to meet me. I’ve gotta get ready, I didn’t expect to be going out today.” I gestured to myself and smiled weakly at him.
“Sure, sure,” he stepped in past me and walked towards Libby’s playroom. As soon as he was out of view I shot upstairs to try to get myself to look decent.
I didn’t want to keep him too long, but I couldn’t rush myself too much. 15 minutes I permitted myself. I raced around my room picking up various pieces of clothing and objects and shut myself in my bathroom. I quickly dried my hair, tied it up in a messy ponytail and dressed myself in jeans and t-shirt, I’d cover this up with a jacket. Next was my make-up. I wasn’t going to put much on but this couldn’t be rushed, not unless I wanted to look like a psychedelic clown anyway. Just as I was finishing my up, I heard the door shut softly and then footsteps. Oh gosh, he was here! I hadn’t even planned what I would say to him. I went back into my bedroom and looked in my full-length mirror. This would have to do. I slipped on my shoes and picked up my jacket. Right, I would just have to be honest and tell him the truth. No beating around the bush, just straight to the point.
He was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. “Woah, you got ready quick!” He smiled at me and I just smiled back.
“Shall we go then?”
“Sure,” He walked out the front door first, I went next setting the house alarm as I left. By the time I’d turned around to follow him, he was waiting on the footpath at the end of the drive. “Let’s just walk and talk, okay?” I nodded and proceeded to walk alongside him down our cul-de-sac, toward the road at the bottom. I was expecting to be nervous, but not as bad as this. Max was making it worse because he wasn’t his usual, confident self. He was quiet and even though I hadn’t known him long at all, I knew this was unusual. “So, about last night? That’s what I=I wanted to talk to you about.” He could see that I was about to interrupt him so he shook his head. “No, me first, then you. Right, I’m hoping you remember what happened last night? I do…vaguely.” He looked at me expectantly, obviously looking for an answer, I just nodded and looked straight ahead. “Well, what I said was true. I do really like you. And I mean this in the most inoffensive way but I really don’t know why.” This made me laugh out loud and he chuckled a bit aswell.
“No offence taken,” I said smiling at him.
“Seriously though, I agree with what you said last night. We barely know each other, yet we like each other . How in the hell does that work? So I was thinking, just incase you were getting your hopes up, that I should just be straight with you. I don’t want a relationship…not yet, anyway. I mean, I haven’t started school yet, I’ve made no friends, hell I’ve only unpacked my bed and cd’s! Now you can speak.”
“I completely agree. This is gonna sound so cowardly but I was planning on avoiding you for a few days, until I had the nerve to tell you what I was really thinking.” Again, we both laughed. “I do really like you aswell but I just don’t know why! We haven’t even known each other a week for God’s Sakes! And anyway, after my last serious boyfriend, I swore I wouldn’t date again until I was at least in Uni.” We were subconsciously heading for the park now. Well, I was anyway, I don’t know if Max knew his way around yet.
“I’m so glad you agree. I was afraid you would have fell for me like every other girl I talk to! Haha!”
“Haha, as if! I have better taste than that! Give me some credit, jeez! Haha!” I liked being back this way with him, joking. We carried on walking for a bit in silence.
“Just out of sheer curiosity, getting to know more about you, what happened with your last boyfriend that put you off dating so badly? If you don’t mind me asking.”
I contemplated whether I would answer his question truthfully. I decided I would, what does it matter anyway? “Well, we were together a long time and I found out he’d been cheating on me for four months. He was getting what I wouldn’t give him off some other slutty girl. Anyway, I dumped him but he begged and begged me to take him back. For weeks he did. I never did though. The thing that hurt me was I was actually head over heels in love with him and he said he was with me. He was the first and only person I’ve ever fell in love with. After the first 3 months, he wanted sex but I didn’t. He said that was fine and that he’d wait but it obviously wasn’t seeing as he starting meeting up with this girl just for the sex. The good thing is, I haven’t seen him since I threw him out my house. He knows better than to come near my house and he doesn’t go to my school so I got a clean break.” I finished there. I was actually surprised at how much detail I’d put into my story.
“What an asshole! As if someone would cheat on you! He obviously didn’t realise what he’d miss when you were gone.” He smiled down at me and on seeing my expression he put his arm around my shoulders in a reassuring, comforting way. And we carried on walking.
It was now 12.30pm. I had been awake for 45 minutes. In the time I’d been awake I’d discovered a note downstairs in the kitchen from my mother.
Annie, gone shopping with Marie. Don’t know how long
I’ll be. Libby stayed the whole night at Val’s last night,
not that you’ll remember! I went to get her this morning
but she refused to come, she wanted to play with Max and
John! Val said she’d drop her back at 1.00pm. Be ready!
Love Mom xxx
I felt disgusting when I woke up and I can hardly remember last night. I couldn’t even remember getting home! I guess I was more drunk than I thought I was. The one thing I remember vaguely was the conversation I had with Max and I regret it hugely. I really do like him but I’m not ready for another boyfriend, not after the last disastrous relationship I had. And if that wasn’t reason enough , I still hardly know Max! I wasn’t even going to think about how I would resolve this dilemma. I’m just going to avoid Max for a few days until I have the nerve to face him again.
In the note my mom left she said ‘Be ready!’. Being awake, showered and dressed in fresh, clean pyjamas was ready enough, in my opinion. Especially considering the hangover I was enduring today. I’d had some paracetamol to ease the thumping in my forehead and back of my skull, it hadn’t yet helped though. Jaz had left me a text telling me to ring her when I woke up, she’d obviously spoken to my mom sometime before I awoke. However, I had no intention of ringing her just yet. When I tell her what I’m planning to tell Max I can imagine what she will say to me. She’ll tell me I’m stupid for giving up a perfectly good chance of a relationship and that I’ll regret it for the rest of life and so on. Yes, that might be true, but I’m just not ready yet. Whether it’s with Max or some other ‘perfect’ boy.
I went downstairs and lay on the cool, chocolate brown leather of the sofa to make the most of my last 20 minutes of peace, before Libby came home. I turned on the TV and flicked it onto MTV, I was looking at the telly but I wasn’t watching it. I was still thinking about last night. I was certain that Max told me he liked me, but did he really? Did I dream it or did it really happen? This was one of the consequences of drinking alcohol. One minute you were sure something happened, even if you only remembered it vaguely. The next minute you were doubting yourself. If Max did tell me he liked me last night, was he just saying it? Was it the alcohol talking or was he just saying it because we were in his bedroom and he wanted certain events to take place? On the other hand, he could have actually meant it, I suppose. Either way it made no difference. I was adamant that I didn’t want a boyfriend or anything near the sort. After my last one I’d sworn that I wouldn’t have another one until I was at least at Uni and I had actually consented to agree with myself on that issue. At least I could ignore Max for a few days, until I’d plucked up the courage to tell him the truth anyway.
The sound of a child’s laughing and the doorbell sounding interrupted my thoughts. Ah, here she comes. I got up off the sofa reluctantly and made my way out into the hall way and to the front door. As soon as the door opened Libby came running in shouting, “Hello Annie Bananny! I’m just going to get something!” She went running through the kitchen into her playroom and started crashing around trying to find whatever she was looking for. I turned back to the door to invite Val in for a drink when I saw it wasn’t Val. Or John. No, of course it wasn’t either of them. My life couldn’t be fair to me and just let me have a few days to myself without having to see or speak to him! I suppose I should have known. The things in life you least want to happen always do. And I knew that from experience.
“Hi Anna”
“Hi,” I was suddenly immediately aware that I was standing in front of Max with damp, unmanaged hair wearing my pyjamas. Oh Joy!
I thought he would laugh at me, but he didn’t. I then wished that he had. It would have at least broken the uncomfortable silence between us. I was about to ask him in for a drink, out of politeness, but he spoke first. “I wanted to speak to you, if that’s okay?”
“Erm, yeah sure. I wanted to speak to you actually. Come in.” I stood back to let him pass but he didn’t move.
“I was actually hoping we could go for a walk, y’know? Libby’s gone to get some toy that she needs to show to my dad.” He smiled when he spoke of this. “So while she was at mine, I thought we could go for a walk.”
“Yep, okay. If you wanna take Libs back to yours and then come back to meet me. I’ve gotta get ready, I didn’t expect to be going out today.” I gestured to myself and smiled weakly at him.
“Sure, sure,” he stepped in past me and walked towards Libby’s playroom. As soon as he was out of view I shot upstairs to try to get myself to look decent.
I didn’t want to keep him too long, but I couldn’t rush myself too much. 15 minutes I permitted myself. I raced around my room picking up various pieces of clothing and objects and shut myself in my bathroom. I quickly dried my hair, tied it up in a messy ponytail and dressed myself in jeans and t-shirt, I’d cover this up with a jacket. Next was my make-up. I wasn’t going to put much on but this couldn’t be rushed, not unless I wanted to look like a psychedelic clown anyway. Just as I was finishing my up, I heard the door shut softly and then footsteps. Oh gosh, he was here! I hadn’t even planned what I would say to him. I went back into my bedroom and looked in my full-length mirror. This would have to do. I slipped on my shoes and picked up my jacket. Right, I would just have to be honest and tell him the truth. No beating around the bush, just straight to the point.
He was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. “Woah, you got ready quick!” He smiled at me and I just smiled back.
“Shall we go then?”
“Sure,” He walked out the front door first, I went next setting the house alarm as I left. By the time I’d turned around to follow him, he was waiting on the footpath at the end of the drive. “Let’s just walk and talk, okay?” I nodded and proceeded to walk alongside him down our cul-de-sac, toward the road at the bottom. I was expecting to be nervous, but not as bad as this. Max was making it worse because he wasn’t his usual, confident self. He was quiet and even though I hadn’t known him long at all, I knew this was unusual. “So, about last night? That’s what I=I wanted to talk to you about.” He could see that I was about to interrupt him so he shook his head. “No, me first, then you. Right, I’m hoping you remember what happened last night? I do…vaguely.” He looked at me expectantly, obviously looking for an answer, I just nodded and looked straight ahead. “Well, what I said was true. I do really like you. And I mean this in the most inoffensive way but I really don’t know why.” This made me laugh out loud and he chuckled a bit aswell.
“No offence taken,” I said smiling at him.
“Seriously though, I agree with what you said last night. We barely know each other, yet we like each other . How in the hell does that work? So I was thinking, just incase you were getting your hopes up, that I should just be straight with you. I don’t want a relationship…not yet, anyway. I mean, I haven’t started school yet, I’ve made no friends, hell I’ve only unpacked my bed and cd’s! Now you can speak.”
“I completely agree. This is gonna sound so cowardly but I was planning on avoiding you for a few days, until I had the nerve to tell you what I was really thinking.” Again, we both laughed. “I do really like you aswell but I just don’t know why! We haven’t even known each other a week for God’s Sakes! And anyway, after my last serious boyfriend, I swore I wouldn’t date again until I was at least in Uni.” We were subconsciously heading for the park now. Well, I was anyway, I don’t know if Max knew his way around yet.
“I’m so glad you agree. I was afraid you would have fell for me like every other girl I talk to! Haha!”
“Haha, as if! I have better taste than that! Give me some credit, jeez! Haha!” I liked being back this way with him, joking. We carried on walking for a bit in silence.
“Just out of sheer curiosity, getting to know more about you, what happened with your last boyfriend that put you off dating so badly? If you don’t mind me asking.”
I contemplated whether I would answer his question truthfully. I decided I would, what does it matter anyway? “Well, we were together a long time and I found out he’d been cheating on me for four months. He was getting what I wouldn’t give him off some other slutty girl. Anyway, I dumped him but he begged and begged me to take him back. For weeks he did. I never did though. The thing that hurt me was I was actually head over heels in love with him and he said he was with me. He was the first and only person I’ve ever fell in love with. After the first 3 months, he wanted sex but I didn’t. He said that was fine and that he’d wait but it obviously wasn’t seeing as he starting meeting up with this girl just for the sex. The good thing is, I haven’t seen him since I threw him out my house. He knows better than to come near my house and he doesn’t go to my school so I got a clean break.” I finished there. I was actually surprised at how much detail I’d put into my story.
“What an asshole! As if someone would cheat on you! He obviously didn’t realise what he’d miss when you were gone.” He smiled down at me and on seeing my expression he put his arm around my shoulders in a reassuring, comforting way. And we carried on walking.