Love Is My Battlefield

I pinned the note to my board over my desk, where all of the other letters were. I started reading them one for one. My thoughts started to process the information from each of them.

I know him… We have talked about beauty… He knows my dream of becoming a doctor… He loves every last thing about me… He knows my favorite flowers.. even which colors I like them the most in… He knows where I live… He knows me..

I shook my head to get out of my line of thoughts, this wouldn’t help me. I had already tried it more than once. It’s like I know who it is and yet it seems like the information just keeps slipping away from my reach. I opened my laptop and quickly checked my e-mail and Facebook, before I began on my homework and assignments.

------that evening-------

I was lying on my bed reading an interview with a vampire by Anne Rice, when there was a knock on my bedroom door. I marked the page I was at before putting it down slightly and telling the person outside my door to come in.

“Hey honey,” my mother’s cheerful voice flowed into my ears as she entered my room and walked over and sat by my desk.

“Hey mom, what’s up?” I looked at her genuinely curious. My mother usually doesn’t sit down at my desk in my room unless it’s something a bit more important. I looked at her carefully as she eyed my letters on my wall and caught sight of the flowers by my bed. I thought she would be mad at me, but a small smile formed on her face as she looked at me again.

“I know this will seem silly, but there is some boy at the boy asking for you.” I looked at her, my shock cleared up. My mother was always on my case on the whole boy department. She probably just wanted to see my reaction to the news as she told me, so she could interrogate me or something on a later date.

“What did this boy look like?” I asked nonchalantly as I placed my book gently on the bed beside me and sat up in my bed, patiently waiting for her answer.

“He’s tall, dark and handsome.” She replied in the same tone and voice as I used just before. I sighed in defeat. That was probably just Paul making my life hell at home as well. I got up and walked out my bedroom door, my mother following me until she turned and walked into the living room and I continued towards the door.

I opened the door after taking some deep calming breaths. Outside the door was... yeah you guessed it... Paul Lahote in all his stalking glory. Once again he seemed shy almost scared as he looked at me. I shook my head slightly, as I gently pushed him a little away from the door, before I walked out onto the porch and closed the door behind me.

“What do you want now Paul?” I sighed as I pulled my hoodie closer to me, I was still just wearing my PJ’s, but as said before, with a hoodie. I glanced up at his eyes, before averting my gaze to my feet. A heavy sigh escaped his lips, before a gentle warm hand pulled a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“I’m sorry I’ve been bothering you so much lately Rose… I just... I just want to talk to you.. Like we did almost four months ago... I want to be a part of your life again… I miss you… I… I…” His stuttering came to a halt as there was a metal clack and the sound of feet running. I swiftly walked over to the mail box and opened it, to find absolutely nothing,

I slowly shook my head and looked around to see if there was anything or anyone anywhere. I walked towards the porch again, where Paul was now sitting on the steps waiting patiently for my return while playing with his fingers.

When I got to the steps, I simply stood in front of him and waited to see if there was anything else he wanted. I knew he knew I was there, and soon enough he let another heavy sigh escape from his lips as he looked at me.

“Do I even have a chance?” He sounded so defeated, so broken that I was shocked into silence. What was going on with him? I hugged my hoodie closer to myself as I inhaled deeply. What was I supposed to tell him? Would it even matter what I said in the end? It hadn’t before. I slowly shook my head as I sighed.

“I don’t know why you bother asking me a question that in the end won’t make a difference. You will follow me around no matter what my answer is to your question. If I say yes, you’ll be glued to my side and if I say no, you’ll probably just keep on stalking me anyways.” I breathed in slowly as I continued talking in the calm manner I had before, “Goodnight Paul.”

I quickly made my way into the house again, not looking back once, before walking straight into my room and going to bed. Dealing with Paul is just too emotionally draining for me. I gently shook my head at myself, before letting sleep overcome me.

Sunday morning came faster than I expected, it was like I had been asleep for like five minutes, but still I wasn’t sleepy. I got ready for the day and went downstairs to make myself some breakfast. It ended up being a simple bowl of cereal, since I didn’t feel like doing something anymore time consuming right about now.

After I finished my cereal, I rinsed and washed the bowl and spoon, before putting it back where I found it and walked back to my room. I looked around my room, not finding anything of interest. So I grabbed my bag and shoved my wallet, phone, keys and some other stuff into it, before I put my shoes and jacket on and grabbed my IPod and headphones.

I quickly slipped on my headphones and pressed play, as I walked down the hallway towards the front door. My father’s head popped out of their bedroom door as I passed. I simply gave him a nod and pointed towards the front door. He got the message and retreated back into the bedroom.

Look into my eyes. Tell me what you see. You don't see a damn thing. Cause you can't relate to me… I pressed next on my IPod, not in the mood for Outlandish right about now.

I always needed time on my own.. No, not Avril Lavigne… too depressing. NEXT!

The intro to “What’s my age again” by Blink 182 began as I hummed along. I started to notice where I was heading, recognizing it as the way towards first beach. It didn’t take long before I arrived at the beach, so I continued walking along the shore until I found a huge log of tree I could sit on near the cliffs.

I got comfortable on the log of tree. It was like it was made for sitting on and fished up my paperback edition of Interview with a vampire by Anne Rice and started reading as “Sweet child of mine” by Guns ‘n’ Roses came on. I was so far gone with my book and music, that when a hand touched my shoulder I screamed bloody murder and jumped over six feet into the air.

I looked up and froze as I blinked against the harsh sunlight. In front of me stood what I could only identify as a man’s shadowy form.

“Rose, are you okay?” My heart seemed to stop as my eyes locked onto the man's in front of me, before everything faded into black.