Birthday Boy

Ryan is sighing on the other end of the telephone. Brendon can hear the rush of breath and static. “I don’t want to have a party Bren,” he complains.

“It’s just me and you. Please Ryan, I already made a cake and you know how hard it is for me to cook anything.”

“You really baked a cake?” Ryan sounds surprised.

“Yes,” Brendon replies. “You can’t spend the whole day in bed. Come on Ryan.”

“Okay.”

Brendon smiles and hangs up the telephone. He hurries to make sure everything looks as nice as possible for his friend. He kicks dirty clothes into the closet, throws crumpled up papers filled with terrible lyrics into the trash can, and hangs up a banner above the kitchen table saying Happy Birthday.

Ryan arrives at Brendon’s door half an hour later slouching with a frown on his face. His hair is a mess and he has on a baggy tee shirt with loose fitting sweatpants. He looks even more pale than usual and there are purplish marks under his eyes like he hasn’t slept well. Brendon smiles at him excitedly. “Happy Birthday Ryan!”

“I don’t feel that happy,” Ryan responds, voice low and tired.

Brendon hugs his friend’s thin frame tightly then tugs him inside towards the kitchen. Ryan half collapses onto the chair and sighs again. Brendon lifts the cake off of the counter and places it on the table proudly.

Ryan leans forward and expects the cake. “Is that supposed to say my name?”

“I tried my best,” Brendon shrugs. He places candles in the top and lights them with a match. “Make a wish.”

“I wish I never woke up this morning.”

“That doesn’t count,” Brendon shakes his head.

“I wish we could get our band back together,” Ryan tries again.

“That’s good enough.”

Ryan takes a deep breath then blows out the candles.

Brendon starts to slice the cake, placing a piece on a paper plate for each of them. “It’s chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, your favorite,” Brendon informs him.

“Great,” Ryan mumbles. He pokes the cake with a plastic fork.

“Are you going to eat it or just poke it to death?”

“Why are you doing this?” he questions.

“Doing what?”

“You could have just left me like the others. I would have been fine staying in bed all day.”

“You’re not fine,” Brendon looks Ryan in the eyes seriously.

“Spencer and Jon haven’t even called. Spencer was my best friend since I was a kid and he didn’t even call me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ryan shakes his head. “I don’t know what happened. What did I do?”

“It’s not you,” Brendon assures him.

“We graduated high school and then everything fell apart. I had all of these friends and we had this band. I thought for sure we were going to be famous. Now look at us. I can barely even sleep anymore, never mind write lyrics. I feel like a total loser.”

“That’s part of life. People grow up and they move on, they grow apart. No one really understands why and they never expect it to happen to them but it does. Jon and Spencer decided to go a different way in life than we did. It doesn’t mean that you’re a loser or that you did something wrong.”

“I hate my life,” Ryan hides his face in his hands.

“I know that things are difficult for you right now. I know that this isn’t what you wanted for your birthday…or any other day for that matter. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but things are going to get better. Things are going to be okay, I promise.”

Brendon sounds so confident and Ryan really wants to believe him. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I just feel so pathetic. I mean, just look at me.”

Brendon smiles. “We’re going to get a band going again, I’ve even tried writing some new lyrics for us. We’re going to be famous and everyone will love us. It’s just going to take some time and you have to be patient even though it’s hard. We both want to make music for people more than anything. I understand. We still have so much time to make our dreams come true though. We just graduated high school a year ago. This isn’t the end Ryan, this is just the beginning.”

Tears spill down Ryan’s face and he hurriedly tries to wipe them away with his hands. “I wish I could be more like you.”

“You are perfect the way you are. You are beautiful and talented and smart and sensitive and creative. You are funny and caring and you have such a good heart. I feel so lucky to call you my friend.”

Ryan sniffles and stares at Brendon. His eyes are wide with disbelief, shining with tears and a hint of hopefulness. “You really mean that?”

Brendon nods, reaching across the table to take Ryan’s hand in his. “Of course I do. It’s the truth and don’t ever let anyone tell you different.”

“I’m really lucky to have you Brendon. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you,” Ryan says.

“I love you too Ryan. You know I’ll always be here for you even when you don’t want me to be. That’s what good friends are for,” Brendon tells him. “Now let’s eat some cake.”

Ryan laughs. It’s a beautiful sound that makes Brendon’s heart melt. Ryan doesn’t know for sure that everything is going to work out, no one can know that for sure. But he is slowly regaining his hope and he thinks maybe as long as he has Brendon they can get through anything.